I'll always be a Knight
by Kayxxx
Summary: Sequel to the story "I'd rather be a Knight". Cal and Ethan have an unwanted visitor show up at the ED, or in Cal's case a VERY unwanted visitor who brings a long a lot of surprises with them...Just how smoothly will things go? Not very if Cal has anything to do with it.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I'm back, sorry I've been away for so long; I've been very busy and I still have a few busy weeks ahead however once they're gone I should be completely free for a good few months which I'm looking forward to spend writing.**

 **I'm planning on using this time to get started on some sequels of some of my older stories I've promised you. Here is the beginning of the sequel to "I'd rather be a Knight", if you haven't read it yet I'd advise you to read that one first it's only 10 chapters so it shouldn't take you too long.** **s/11502343/1/I-d-rather-be-a-Knight**

 **Some of you have told me you're looking forward to my sequels and so I hope they don't disappoint. The other story I'm going to be posting the sequel to soon is "Good and bad things" which I know a lot of you were excited for the sequel to, the reason I'm telling you here is so people who have not yet read it can get a head start before I post the first chapter of the sequel as that story was slightly longer at about 40-ish chapters so there's quite a lot to read.** **s/11344220/1/Good-and-bad-things**

 **Don't know if those links will work but if they do it'll save you some searching...Anyways, sorry for blabbering on...here is the first chapter, "I'll always be a Knight" I really hope you enjoy, please let me know your thoughts on where you think it's going to lead I always enjoy reading your reviews, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter one

It was just your average Saturday night in Holby City ED. Nothing in particularly different had happened, well, no two days are the same in any ED as any doctor or nurse will tell you however, today, nothing out of the ordinary had happened as of yet that was. Cal and Ethan were both on the same shift which had not started so long ago. Cal was working in RESUS whilst Ethan was busy working in cubicles.

Noel stood at his desk looking out at the patients in the waiting room trying to guess what they were in for; trying to make some fun out of his shift. His attention was then drawn to the doors as Iain and Jez burst through with a patient calling out in pain on a trolley. A man held the door open for them as they hurried through. Iain and Jez soon disappeared off but Noel's attention stayed on the man who held the door for them. He looked to be about in his mid-fifties years old, he was smartly dressed though he looked thin, and not just normal thin, _ill thin_ , all the years Noel has worked on reception he had gotten to know the difference between the two. He was an attractive looking man despite this, his smart attire also added to his level of attractiveness. Noel watched as he examined the room admiringly, this was something he thought was strange, it's not often someone looks around any ED with so much love in their eyes. He then spotted Noel and made his way over.

"Hello, I'm looking for a Doctor Hardy?" He asked him. He was very well spoken which didn't surprise Noel at all.

"Oh, right okay I'm sure I can sort that out for you..." Noel replied slightly confused at why he'd asked for Ethan and not just signed himself in as a patient as most people do when they approach his desk, "may I ask what for?" He asked.

Just as the man opened his mouth to reply Ethan's voice cut him off.

"Dad?" He asked bewildered. He was stood at the corner of Noel's desk holding some notes on a patient, his mouth open wide in shock as he stared ahead at his father.

"Oh..." his father smiled as he looked him up and down, "you haven't changed a bit son" he smiled as he shook his head in amazement and took a few steps towards him.

Noel watched on in amazement.

"...and look at you, wearing your name badge so proudly, I always knew you'd carry on the name of Doctor Hardy" he grinned as he fiddled with Ethan's name badge.

"I-I, um..." Ethan was speechless.

"Still a stutterer though I see? Those therapy sessions were a waste" his father attempted to joke. Noel looked toward him awkwardly and Ethan pulled his father to one side embarrassed.

"No, I-I um..." He couldn't for the life of him get any words out, it was like he went straight back to being five years old.

"You can't surely be a doctor with a stutter like that..." His father spoke surprised.

"No!" Ethan spat out, "I'm- I'm just a bit shocked that's all" he managed to speak, "I mean, you're the last person I thought to see turn up at my work" he added.

"It was a bit of a gamble but I'm just happy you're living your dream, not like your brother, what's he doing these days? Still kicking a ball around? Or perhaps he's picking up bin bags somewhere?" He asked.

He didn't mean to but he couldn't help but scoff in his father's face "actually-" Ethan was cut off.

"Actually you know, I don't want to know...back to the reason why I'm here " his father proposed, "listen, how about we go and get a coffee? It's been a while, I'm sure we've got a lot to catch up on?" He suggested.

Ethan debated it momentarily before he shook his head, "I'm sorry, I'm busy today, it's Saturday and you know how hectic Saturday nights get" he told him.

"Right" his father nodded disappointment was evident in his voice.

"But I am due a break..." Ethan announce; he hated letting people down. He looked over his shoulder see if Noel was still doing his best to eavesdrop into their conversation; this was when he spotted his older brother making his way towards him. He grabbed his father by his shoulders and moved him so he had his back to Cal.

"What's gotten into you?" He asked confused.

"Umm..." Ethan hesitated as he desperately tried to think.

"Nibbles!" Cal announced as made his way over and stood in between his brother and unknowingly his father, "your patient in cubicle three..." He started, Ethan watched out the corner of his eye at his father's shocked expression, he swallowed hard as he waited, "where's she gone? Connie is having kittens" he continued, not giving any attention to the man whom Ethan stood talking to.

"I discharged her over an hour ago?" Ethan spat or confused as he looked down at his notes.

"She's breached and she's gone, but she hasn't been discharged on the system" Cal shrugged as he awaited Ethan's explanation.

It was then when Ethan pulled out the form he was meant to use to give in to deem his patient discharged.

"I'll sort it" Cal chuckled as he grabbed it from his brother's hands.

"A-hem" their father cleared his throat in attempt to make his presence known.

"Sorry for interrupting" Cal apologised politely to the man before realisation grew over him suddenly.

He was completely speechless.

"Well, Caleb..." His father began as he scanned his oldest son up and down, "never did I think I'd see you in scrubs, well, maybe I'd given prison scrubs a thought, but never hospital scrubs...is this what the porters are wearing these days?" He asked with a smirk.

Just as Ethan noticed his brother's fists clenching at his sides he butted in, " _actually_ dad, Cal is a doctor, senior registrar, just like me" he smiled as they awaited their father's response.

"Still a registrar at your age? That's nothing to look smug about son, when I was your age I was a consultant" he told him, "Ethan will beat you to it at this rate"

"Actually I got more than Ethan on our latest FCEMs" Cal announced proudly in his defence.

"Still failed though I see?" His father asked with a scoff, "I'm kidding with you Caleb, calm down, I'm actually proud of you" his father smiled at him and did the same as he did to his youngest son straightened up the name tag on his scrubs, "you carried on the name of Doctor Hardy too I see-" he cut himself off when he noticed the name on his son's tag, his smile dropped instantly, "Knight?" He asked, "Knight?!" He shouted this time as he stepped back away from Cal.

"Caleb Knight" Cal told him.

"What? Why?!" His father demanded.

"To remind myself I did this for myself, it had _nothing_ to do with you. You always told us to 'carry on the name of Doctor Hardy' it was like my last way of getting back at you, I was _never_ a Hardy" Cal spoke through gritted teeth.

"Don't be so idiotic boy!" His father yelled.

"Cal..." Ethan mumbled stopping his brother's clenched fists once again, "can you discharge my patient and tell Mrs Beauchamp I'll be over to apologise shortly" he told him but Cal didn't take his eyes off his father.

"What do you want?" Cal asked him, "eh?! Why are you here?" He demanded.

"I was wondering if we could have a catch up" his father replied.

"A catch up?!" Cal roared.

"Shh Cal" Ethan warned noticing the three were getting some attention from the surrounding people.

"Okay _well_...since you drugged me for the majority of my childhood-" His father cut him off.

"Oh are you still rattling on about that Caleb?! It's in the past, grow up for God sake! It got you where you are today didn't it?!" he spat out.

"No. Nothing you did had any contribution to getting me to where I am today so don't you dear try and steal the credit, I had no help getting to where I am today; I did it all on my own" Cal announced, "That's why I'll always be a Knight" He added.

"Oh well your mother must be proud" He replied dropping his anger, it was almost as if he admitted defeat for a moment.

Realisation shattered over Ethan instantly, their father didn't know their mum had died, which, in reality was completely their fault or more so Ethan's. Ethan suddenly found the ground interesting.

"What?" Cal spat out confused, thinking his father was just taking another dig at him but then he soon too realised his father was unaware of their mother's death. Cal looked at him awkwardly, "...You- you know mum's dead, right?" he asked.

Ethan looked up at his father sympathetically.

"She, she's dead?" He asked in disbelief, "Matilda?"

"I'm so sorry dad, it's completely my fault I forgot to tell you" Ethan admitted.

"...When?" their father asked looking towards the ground.

"Just over two years ago now" Ethan replied softly.

"...How?" he asked.

"Cancer" Ethan told him.

Silence suddenly entered the conversation, Ethan watched his father sympathetically as he no doubt thought about his ex wife, Cal on the other hand looked at his father with nothing but hatred in his eyes.

"Oh stop acting like that's affected you in the slightest, you cheated on her remember? You made her life a living hell as you did mine too; thinking about it you did that a lot didn't you?" Cal was cut off by Ethan.

"Oh Caleb just shut up! He's just found out mum's died you could lay off him for a while yeah? Have some sympathy!" Ethan shouted angrily.

"What on earth is going on here?!" Connie demanded as she made her way over.

"I'm sorry Mrs Beauchamp I-" she cut Ethan's explanation off.

"It's always you two. How many times do I have to tell you to keep your private lives and sibling squabbling out of the ED?" Connie spoke sternly, not even noticing their father who had stepped back away from the two.

"I apologise Mrs Beauchamp, it won't happen again" Ethan spoke politely.

"Sorry Connie" Cal smirked at her. Connie rolled her eyes at him and she wondered off, Cal watched her walk away; Ethan nudged him snapping him from his staring.

"I shouldn't have come, I'll leave you two to get on with your job" Their father walked away.

"Dad!" Ethan called after him but he continued walking.

Ethan sighed and turned to Cal who had made his way over to reception.

"You look as if you've just seen a ghost" Cal scoffed.

"That's because I have, Caleb he looks awful" Ethan stated concerned as he looked over his shoulder at his father walking away.

"I haven't seen him since I was 18 that's what? 14 years, it age Ethan" Cal shrugged.

"No Cal, _that's ill_. Something must be up why else would he want to see us?" Ethan asked as he thought.

" _You_ Ethan. He wanted to see _you_." Cal corrected him but Ethan was too deep in thought to even hear him, Cal looked at him knowingly, "don't" he warned. Ethan sighed and looked up at him sheepishly, "Ethan don't even think about it, are you forgetting what he did to me?" Cal asked in disbelief.

"Yeah did to _you_ , not me." Ethan replied sternly. "Dad!" he called as he ran to out the ED door leaving Cal stood at reception livid.

He saw his father slowly making his way across the car park, "Dad!" he shouted once more he stopped and turned to face him, "look take my number, I'll meet up with you" Ethan wrote his phone number down on some paper he had hold of and tore it off to give to him.

"Thank you son" his father replied sincerely.

"I'm so sorry you found out about mum that way, I should've told you earlier" Ethan replied sadly.

"I'll be in touch soon Ethan" His father smiled at him gratefully and walked off.

Ethan walked back into the ED where Cal waited for him, "So...?" Cal asked.

"He's going to call me" Ethan told him with a sigh of relief.

"Unbelievable" Cal shook his head at him; he ducked down to Ethan's level intimidating him instantly, "Okay, so if you don't care what he did to me what about what he did to mum eh? Surely you care about her?" Cal spoke through gritted teeth.

"I _do_ care about you Cal, and mum, and I'll let him know when we meet up that he is nowhere near forgiven, even by me" Ethan promised.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the reviews on the first chapter. I'm glad so many of you are looking forward to this sequel. Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter too, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter two

It had been a week since Ethan and Cal's father turned up at work. Cal seemed to have brushed his visit to the back of his mind whereas Ethan had been in constant contact with him and had planned to meet up with him today; little to Cal's knowledge. Ethan had dragged Cal out to help him pick paint for the flat as it was the only excuse he could think of that Cal would be needed.

"I'm thinking blue what do you think?" Cal asked as Ethan drove staring blankly ahead deep in thought, "Ethan!" Cal snapped him from his thoughts.

"Hm?" Ethan replied.

"Blue" Cal told him.

"What's blue?" Ethan asked oblivious as he looked around out the window for something blue.

"No, blue paint for the flat" Cal huffed, "what do you think?" He asked.

"Isn't it already blue?" Ethan asked confused.

"No it's white, why do you want to change the colour if you don't even know what colour is already there?" Cal scoffed.

"No no it's white you're right, yeah blue sounds good" Ethan replied just to shut him up more than anything; it didn't really matter what colour Cal wanted it wasn't as if they were actually going to get paint today...As they pulled into their destination Ethan's eyes shot over to a cafe, "I'm hungry" Ethan announced as Cal was about to get out of the car.

"Hi hungry, I'm starving" Cal replied. Ethan rolled his eyes at his brother's pathetic attempt at a joke. "No seriously though you rushed us out the flat without breakfast of course we're going to be hungry" Cal rolled his eyes this time and got out of the car.

"Well..." Ethan started as he too got out, "why don't we go to that cafe over there?" He suggested.

"Yeah okay, why don't I pay for my breakfast when I could have had it for free in the comfort of my own home?" Cal replied sarcastically.

"You're only moaning because you can't sit and eat it with no pants on" Ethan scoffed and made his way across to the cafe.

"Yeah and that's just one of the pleasures of eating breakfast _at home"_ Cal announced as he followed Ethan to the cafe that was attached to the shop they were going for their paint.

"Or any meal to you" Ethan replied sarcastically as he stopped outside the door to check his watch.

"What are you doing? I'm starving!" Cal whined impatiently.

"Yeah okay" Ethan snapped and opened the door. Ethan scanned the room instantly for their father in a panic, he saw him stand up at a table in the corner of the room so they could see him. He shot a smile over at Ethan which he returned.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Cal shouted as he too spotted their father.

"Cal he just wants to talk to us" Ethan told him.

"Yeah well I don't want to hear it Ethan" Cal replied sternly and turned for the door.

"Cal wait" Ethan stopped him, "he asked for both of us Cal, not just me" he told him.

Cal looked over at his father and then back to Ethan "I'll be in the car" he turned for the door once more.

"Please stay Cal I can't do this on my own" Ethan spat out in a panic.

"What? You're scared to talk to your own dad?" Cal asked in disbelief.

"No, he-he, m,m,makes me-" Cal cut Ethan's stuttering off.

"...okay alright, I'll come" Cal sighed. Seeing Ethan stutter at the thought of their father proved he had an effect on his childhood too.

"Don't cause any arguments, please Cal" Ethan asked.

"I'm not making any promises" Cal mumbled and made his way over.

Although he'd agreed to sit with Ethan and their father, Cal had no intention of listening to a word he said. Ethan sat up straight listening intently to his father whereas Cal slumped back looking around the room and jiggling his legs.

"So, how have you boys been?" Their father asked.

"Great, wonderful in fact" Ethan replied awkwardly.

"That's great...so how long have you been working at Holby for?" He asked.

"Just over two years now, I started the day mum died unfortunately" Ethan replied sadly.

"Talk about bad timing eh son?" He looked at him sympathetically, "Any romance on the cards?" Their father asked with a smirk.

"Only briefly for me, I, I had a short fling with a lovely girl called Honey, she worked at the hospital" Ethan told him smiling as he thought of her, "we were far too opposite though, it didn't really work out in the end" he held his head down.

"Ah well I'm sure you'll find the right gal soon son" his father told him causing Ethan to smile.

"What about you Caleb?" He asked but Cal was still content on not listening. His father placed his hand on Cal's knee to stop him jiggling, "Caleb, please" he warned.

Cal sighed and sat up, "look, enough small talk I can get that off a patient at work, why are we here?" He asked knowing Ethan was far too nervous to ask this but both of them wanted to know.

"I've got to tell you something" their father replied.

"Yeah so you keep saying, just get on with it will you" Cal snapped impatiently.

"I haven't seen you for years Caleb I want to know how you've been" he pushed.

Cal sighed loudly, "I've been working at the hospital a week less than Ethan has. Relationships? _Of course_ I've had many, one actually made me consider popping the question but I'd much rather block that right out of my mind and as for how I've been? Absolutely fine until you showed up. Now you, why are you here, what do you want?" Cal demanded.

"Popping the question? I never thought you'd be one to settle down" he spoke impressed.

"We're talking about you now" Cal reminded him.

"And you've held down a job for over two years?" He continued.

"Oh for god sake just spit it out I haven't got all day!" Cal snapped.

"I'm dying" he finally spat out.

Both Ethan and Cal's faces dropped. Cal looked at Ethan sympathetically; he cared greatly for their father but Cal didn't, at the moment he felt sorrier for Ethan and he did his father. Ethan opened his mouth to talk but no words came out.

"Prostate cancer" their father answered the question Ethan couldn't bring himself to ask "I've just been told I haven't got long left to live..." He trailed off awkwardly awaiting his son's reactions.

"...and you're telling us this because?" Cal shrugged.

"Caleb!" Ethan warned.

"No seriously, what do you want? Sympathy? Well you're looking in the wrong place, I'm afraid you aren't getting any sympathy from me" Cal stood up to leave.

"Caleb please just hear me out there's more to this" his father asked.

Ethan gave him daggers. Cal sighed and slumped back down in his chair.

"As you are both doctors you probably know if a close family member has prostate cancer it increases your risk of getting it. Now it was too late for me but I want you two to get checked out now, before it could be too late for you too" their father explained carefully.

"Thank you dad, we'll get right on it" Ethan replied sincerely.

"What a hero, Doctor Hardy swoops in to save the day once again" Cal spoke sarcastically.

Ethan shook his head, "Ignore him dad, I'm so sorry to hear about your cancer, listen, if there's anything at all we can do-" Cal cut Ethan off.

"Woah count me right out of that one" Cal held his hands up as he stood up; he'd had enough "listen I'm sick listening to all this, to be honest it wouldn't surprise me if it was all lies, I'll be in the car" He told Ethan who looked up at him in disappointment, "I won't be in touch" he forced out a smile at his father and stormed out of the cafe.

Ethan watched him leave and then turned back to his father, "I'm so sorry about him, I doubt he actually means anything he says. It'll hit home to him soon I promise you, he was like this when mum got diagnosed he took up a job abroad, he doesn't really handle things well when it's his family who are patients...look you've got my number, keep in touch with me okay? We'll meet up again soon; we're not going to lose contact again alright? I'm here for you; keep me updated on your condition please. Right I'm going to have to go before he leaves without me" Ethan stood up; his father stood up at the same time as him but winced due to his condition.

Ethan looked out the window to find Cal had started up the car.

"There's still so much I need to tell you, and so much I want to hear about you" his father told him.

"We'll get a coffee" Ethan smiled and hurried out the door, "Caleb!" He shouted as his brother drove toward the exit of the car park, he then swiftly turned and pulled up right at Ethan's feet. He took a seat in the passenger's seat and sighed. He waved at his dad as they drove away, Cal didn't give him a second glance.

"Cal the way you spoke to him then was so disrespectful, are you forgetting that's our father?" Ethan snapped.

"Ethan I couldn't care less about that man" Cal replied easily.

"Yeah and you made that clear as day back there" Ethan spoke sternly, "He must be so scared Cal, he must want some closure from us, it must be horrible going through cancer alone-" Cal cut him off there.

"The only reason he wants to talk to us now is because he feels guilty for our crappy childhood, he thinks he can make up for that now? Pfft I lost nine years of my life because of that man, nine years I'm never getting back. And he won't be going through this alone, he's probably still with that nurse he cheated on mum with. Look, I doubt any of this is as bad as he's making out, he doesn't even look like he's been through any chemo? He's still young for a prostate cancer patient so that would be a way of treatment...He's like the grim reaper himself it wouldn't surprise me if he'll live forever to make more people's lives a misery" Cal huffed.

"Don't be so horrible about him Caleb, without him you wouldn't be alive you at least have that to thank him for" Ethan tried to reason.

"He's a selfish person Ethan, he cares about nobody but himself" Cal replied confidently.

"Reminds me of someone else I know" Ethan muttered under his breath as he looked out of the window.

Suddenly the car swerved to the side of the road and skid to a stop, Ethan looked over at Cal who rested his head against the stirring wheel which his hands gripped onto so tightly his nails were probably making an indent on it. Ethan's heart was beating hard in his chest from the Cal suddenly slamming on the breaks, "What the hell did you do that for?! You could've killed us!" Ethan shouted.

"Don't you _ever_ compare me to him!" Cal roared at him. As he did so Ethan noticed tears in his brother's eyes, he didn't know whether they were tears of rage or something else but he was taken aback by it. "I can still see them you know, sure they're faded now, no one else can make them out but I can, because I know they're there, they'll always be there...they'll always be a reminder of how I felt when I was on that medication, they'll always be a reminder of how he made me feel" Cal mumbled as had his head held down.

Ethan looked at him confused, "What are you talking about Caleb?" He asked; he was talking total nonsense.

Cal slowly lifted his head up and looked at Ethan; his tears had now escaped his eyes, "...my scars Ethan" he whimpered.

Suddenly realisation shattered over Ethan, his mind shot back instantly to Cal being 16 years old and depressed and self harming because of the way his medication his father wrongly put him on affected his mind. Ethan had completely forgotten about that if he were to be completely honest, it was a good 16 years ago and he thought Cal would've put it to the back of his mind as much as he had, however, only now did he realise that must've been a hell of a lot harder for him. The difference in his brother now to back then is incredible you never would put imagine them being the same person, maybe that's why it hit home so much when he heard Cal bring up his scars. Only now he understood why his brother didn't like seeing their father.

"You don't have to see him again Cal, I'm sorry for bringing you here today I didn't think" Ethan told him sincerely.

Cal nodded and ran his hand over his face to wipe away his tears in embarrassment, "We didn't even get the paint for the flat" he joked causing Ethan to laugh slightly.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone! Here is the next chapter, hope you enjoy. Please let me know your thoughts on it as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight - Chapter three

It had been two weeks since Cal and Ethan's encounter with their father at the café. During this time Ethan had seen his father numerous amount of times and made sure Cal stayed in the dark about the lot. He could feel himself getting closer to his father as time went on however there was still some news he had to tell him that he refused to tell him without Cal being there, Ethan was getting pretty fed up with being left in the dark. Ethan had also noticed Cal hadn't been getting much sleep lately which made him wonder if his attitude towards his father was finally getting to his conscience.

Cal stood at reception with Max, Robyn and Lofty laughing together as they talked, his smile soon dropped when he saw his father waltz through the ED doors, "You again? What the hell do you want?" Cal huffed as he approached his father.

"I'm waiting for Ethan" his father replied, "We're going for coffee, why don't you join us Caleb?" He asked.

"No thanks, I've got a patient leaking from both ends that I'd much rather deal with" Cal forced out a smile and made his way to reception where Max, Robyn and Lofty watched on warily; was this the man from Cal's childhood story he told them not so long ago?

"You know..." His father followed him, "I don't know how I brought up such an angry kid" he stated.

Cal shook his head and spun around, "You didn't bring me up though did you? Because you were never around were you? You were always working" Cal replied.

Robyn lofty and Max watched on amazed.

"Without me working there would be no income coming in to the house, I had to work to keep a roof over your heads and food on the table-" Cal cut him off.

"You didn't have to work that much over time though, we weren't struggling, you just wanted to get in with that slut of yours at work" He scoffed.

"You leave Catherine out of this!" His father snapped defensively.

Ethan appeared at reception and caught the end of the heated debate between his brother and father.

"Dad, I told you to wait outside" Ethan muttered as he pulled him to one side.

"Well it was raining and I couldn't stand in the doorway because I'd be in the way of the paramedics so I came inside" he explained.

"Yeah well there was a reason why I asked you to wait outside" Ethan told him awkwardly shooting a glance at Cal.

"He's still hates the bones of me does he?" He asked sadly. "You said he'd change his mind"

"He just doesn't like to think about his past and, well, seeing you brings it all back to him" Ethan explained, "and he's not had the best of weeks" he added.

"How so?" His father asked.

"Well, we did a PSA test to look for any early signs of prostate cancer as you advised us to-" his father cut him off.

"How did it go?" He asked frantically.

"Mine came back normal but Cal's...his PSA levels were higher than normal so they decided it would be best to do a rectal examination" Ethan explained, "where they discovered there was nothing abnormal there and it turns out he had some infection that made his PSA levels higher, so basically he's just moaning about having some doctor's finger up his rectum for no reason" He stated awkwardly, "but he's had to do it plenty of times to patients so he knows it's no big deal and at least there's nothing wrong so I don't see why he's acting so childish" Ethan concluded with the shake of his head.

"It's just another reason for him to hate me I suppose" his father replied.

"I mean, I suppose being on the side of the patient for once and especially for that reason could be slightly embarrassing" Ethan reasoned sticking on his brother's side.

"Doctor Hardy!" Charlie's voice called out of the blue.

"Yes?" Ethan turned to face him confused at his enthusiasm.

"Is that actually you?" Charlie continued, but Ethan noticed he wasn't addressing his words to him, but to his father.

"George! How have you been?!" Charlie asked as he and Ethan's father hugged leaving Ethan stood awkwardly beside them confused as to what was happening.

"Well I've been better, yourself?" His father replied.

"Pretty much the same, I blame the age" Charlie winked causing George to laugh, "I never thought I'd see you walking the floors of Holby ED again, what's brought you here?" Charlie asked amazed.

"Ah well I'm just have a coffee catch up with my son" he gestured to Ethan.

"Hi" Ethan spoke awkwardly.

"Your son?!" Charlie spat out before realisation suddenly shattered over him, "why did I never think to put two and two together?" He kicked himself.

"Blame the age" George joked cashing Charlie to laugh.

"You two know each other?" Ethan asked.

"I worked alongside Charlie for a good 15 years here at the ED, this man is a wealth of knowledge you can learn tons from him Ethan take note" his father told him.

"Yeah I know dad, I _do_ know Charlie" Ethan shook his head. "Look, you two seem to have more catching up to do than me and you dad, why don't you go for coffee instead?" He suggested.

"What about our catch up Ethan, there's stuff I need to tell you and Caleb" His father told him.

"Nothing life threatening?" Ethan asked, his father shook his head, "then it can wait, we'll reschedule, enjoy" Ethan smiled at his father and Charlie before he made his way over to everyone stood at reception.

"You up for drinks later Cal?" Max asked but Cal was too interested in what his father was saying to Charlie.

Max took his pen and tapped Cal's bum with it causing him to flinch and everyone to laugh knowing all about his unneeded rectal exam, "don't mate I've had enough up there for one week" Cal attempted to joke in reply.

Ethan shook his head at his brother with a smirk, "How's your overflowing patient doing?" He asked as he stood beside Cal.

"Never mind him, what does _he_ want?" Cal asked as he gestured to his father who was in a deep conversation with Charlie.

Ethan took in a deep breath, "Cal there's still something he needs to tell us and he won't just tell me, he wants you there too" he informed him.

Cal rolled his eyes, "hopefully he's mentioned us in his will and he'll pop his clogs soon" he muttered.

"Caleb!" Ethan snapped.

"Look Ethan I don't want to give that man the time of day I just can't wait for the day he disappears out of our lives for good" Cal admitted.

"Caleb he's the only family we've got left" Ethan told him.

"That's not true, I've got you, you've got me. That's enough for me, it's how it's always been" Cal shrugged in reply.

"Lads your dad isn't half looking different since the first time I saw him a few weeks ago, is he okay? He looks ill" Noel spoke concerned as he looked over at him.

Ethan hadn't noticed how ill his father had began to look because he'd spent most of the time with him, as for Cal, he didn't care enough to notice but as they both looked over it became obvious; he'd lost weight, and Noel was right he did look ill, very ill.

Ethan turned back to face Noel and the rest of his colleagues and suddenly felt very defensive towards his father "yes, well, that's what cancer does to you" he stated before he stormed off to the staff room leaving everyone in an awkward and uncomfortable silence. Cal took another look over his shoulder at his father who was now walking off with Charlie and for the first time he actually felt some sympathy for him. Cal followed Ethan into the staffroom to check on him, he was pacing back and forth deep in thought.

"Are you okay?" Cal asked as he entered.

"Caleb Noel was right he looks awful" Ethan stopped for a second, "and I didn't even notice of what type of son am I?" He sighed as he continued pacing.

"A better one than me anyway" Cal replied as he leaned against the counter.

Ethan stopped suddenly and rolled his eyes at him, "is that supposed to make me feel better?" He spat out and continued to pace.

Cal didn't know what to say, he just watched his brother pace back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, "Will you keep still Nibbles you're making me dizzy!" He spat out.

Ethan sighed deeply and made his way over to Cal, "When he said he didn't have long left to live..." Ethan began, "maybe he meant weeks Cal, what if he meant weeks?" He panicked, "he's got weeks left to live and he's spent it trying to talk to us and we won't listen, what a way to spend your last days alive on this earth you should be out living life to the full, oh I feel awful..." He leaned against the counter and rested his head in his hands.

"You've got nothing to feel awful about Ethan" Cal told him, "Ethan" he called so he lifted his head out of his hands and looked up at him, "you've got nothing to feel awful about alright? You've been there for him every time he's asked you to and that's all you could do, I should be the one feeling awful" Cal told him carefully but Ethan wasn't convinced.

"I've just blew him off then so he could catch up with Charlie, he came here for coffee with me" Ethan shook his head; he was ridden with guilt.

"Hey catching up with old friends it's what you do when you're dying..." Cal's voice trailed off awkwardly, Ethan gave him _a look_ and Cal sighed. "Alright look, by time he's done with Charlie I'll be finished off here, how about we take him across to the Hope n' Anchor? Have a pint with him and hear what he's got to say" he suggested, more to put Ethan at ease than his father though.

"Will you?" Ethan looked up suddenly.

"Yeah, I suppose he doesn't seem as bad as he used to be..." Cal sighed admittedly, "but I'm not staying long" he added.

"Oh thank you Caleb, I just want him to know we're both there for him, I mean, we're probably all he has left" Ethan let out a sigh of relief.

"Right I've just got to sort out my leaky patient and I'll be ready for some family catch up time" Cal spoke sarcastically as he stood up.

As he and Ethan turned for the door to leave, it opened slightly and Charlie popped his head in; the look on his face said it all.

"It's your dad..." He stated in dread.

Cal shot a glance at Ethan whose face dropped; he looked to the ground and then looked back up.

"Where is he?" Ethan asked frantically.

"RESUS-" Charlie replied but Ethan had already left, pushing past him on his way.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next update, please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks Kayxxx.**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter four

"Dad!" Ethan shouted as he burst through the doors of RESUS.

"Ethan..." Connie made her way over to him but he rushed straight past her and to his father's bedside.

"What happened?" He asked as he looked at him horrified.

"He collapsed upstairs with Charlie, he's tachycardic but we're doing all we can for him-" Ethan cut Connie's explaining off frantically.

"He's got prostate cancer-" Connie cut him off.

"We know don't worry" She gave him as much as she could of a reassuring smile as she continued to work on his father with Dylan and Robyn.

Ethan looked down at his dad with tears in his eyes, "it's okay dad, it's Ethan, I'm here" he told him as he took hold of his hand.

The door opened and in stepped Cal who stayed by the door and watched on hauntingly.

"He's stable" Connie announced as the beeping of his machine slowed to a normal rate.

Ethan and Cal both let out a sigh of relief, though Ethan made his more obvious. Cal backed away to the door but was stopped by Charlie who pressed his hand against his back, "get over there" he told him determinately. Cal nodded and slowly made his way over; he stood beside his bed right opposite where Ethan stood. Charlie stood at the end of his bed watching them warily.

Ethan looked up at Cal and smiled at him gratefully for being there; he knew how hard it must be for him and how much it would mean to their father, "When he's better he isn't leaving my side, he's come back into our lives for a reason and I'm going to be there until the very end" Ethan announced confidently as he took hold of his father's hand again, "He can move in with us if needs be" he decided.

"Yep I think that might be the push I've needed to get my own place again" Cal announced awkwardly; Ethan just rolled his eyes at him.

"I wonder what it is he needs to tell us" Ethan spoke out as he looked down at his father, Cal just shrugged, "Did he mention anything to you Charlie?" Ethan asked the older man.

"I think its best you ask him, but I'm sure you'll find out very soon" Charlie replied indicating that he was aware of the secret their father had been keeping from them.

"I don't know how I didn't realise who you two were earlier" Charlie told them changing the subject, "I mean Cal you're the double of him" he stated with a smile. Cal just nodded and kept his head down; he hated people comparing him to his father. "You always were though, I remember when you were younger-" Robyn cut him off.

"You knew them when they were younger?" She asked amazed.

"Oh yeah, George brought them in a few times, I remember you Ethan very well, you could barely get a word out of you because of that terrible stutter, but you were a cute kid and so well behaved, you were always interested in medicine that was obvious from an early age being in hospital was like being at a funfair to you and Cal, well, you were just Cal I can't really remember seeing much of you" he stated,

 _"Because he was too ashamed of me to bring me in"_ Cal thought to himself as Charlie blabbered on.

"You were the complete opposite to Ethan, nothing much has changed now though" he smiled, Ethan smiled at Charlie as he listened to his story but Cal just looked down and gritted his teeth.

"Oh now I remember one time Cal, you were kicking a football around cubicles and accidentally kicked it at the table your dad was working from, let's just say he wasn't too pleased" Charlie laughed and Robyn laughed along.

"Yeah he never was pleased with anything I did" Cal announced; he'd had enough of Charlie's stories. He looked down at his father and could feel the hatred filling up for him once more.

"Are you Catherine's kids then?" Charlie asked.

Ethan looked up at Cal confused but he kept his head down.

"No no, our mother's called Matilda, well, she was" Ethan explained awkwardly.

"Katherine was that slut he cheated on our mum with and made her life a living hell" Cal spat out.

"He always was a bit of a womaniser" Charlie stated trying to make a joke out of the situation that he could see was starting to get serious.

"Reminds me of someone else we know" Robyn teased as she looked at Cal.

Cal took in a deep breath; it took every inch of his body not to snap.

"I always remember him talking about how you'd become a doctor" He heard Charlie's voice speak and he looked up suddenly thinking he was addressing his words to him but _of course_ he was directing them to Ethan, "he would always talk about you with so much pride" he added.

"Yeah I guess taking up medicine was inevitable for me" Ethan replied with a smile.

Cal hadn't felt this useless and invisible since he was seven years old.

"Oh and I always remember he was convinced you had ADHD Cal, do you remember that?" Charlie asked thoughtlessly.

"Remember?" Cal asked as he looked up, his anger had overtaken him, "remember?!" He shouted, "Oh I remember alright considering he drugged me for the majority of my childhood for a condition that I didn't even have!" He shouted, Ethan looked at him sympathetically, "I can't not remember Charlie, I have the scars on my skin that are a daily reminder of how _he_ made me feel." He spat out, "oh but don't worry, he's got his lovely little Ethan though hasn't he? Wonderful Doctor Hardy over there how proud he must be eh?! Who cares if Caleb doesn't have a childhood, who cares if my own father overdoses me with the medication I'm not even meant to be on when I'm _seven years old_ just because he didn't want me to play football one day _?_ Who cares if Caleb suffers from depression because of what that medication does to his head and the only way he could find release is if he slices his skin open as often as he can...who cares eh?! Who cares!?" Cal roared as tears trickled down his face.

Everyone watched him awkwardly.

"Cal I'm sorry" Charlie spoke out but Cal just held up his hands and stormed out.

"Caleb!" Ethan shouted after him, "Cal!" He called as he followed him to the door.

"Ethan?" His father's voice mumbled.

He froze torn between his brother and his father; he looked over at his father and then back out the window to find Cal disappear into the hospital.

"Ethan?" His father asked again.

"I'm here dad" Ethan told him as he made his way back over, "I'm here" he smiled as he took hold of his hand.

"No Caleb?" He asked.

Ethan looked down sadly, "no, no Caleb" he told him.

Cal was sat on the couch in the staffroom with his head held in his hands when Charlie entered. He managed to make two cups of tea without Cal even noticing he was in the room.

"Cal..." Charlie spoke softly causing him jump.

He looked up at him suddenly and Charlie handed him a cup of tea.

"May I?" Charlie asked if he could take a seat beside him, Cal nodded.

There was an awkward silence before Charlie spoke out, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories" he spoke sincerely.

"Every memory with my dad is a bad one" Cal replied as he sat nursing his cup, he suddenly sighed deeply, "Charlie I'm sorry I should've have spoken to you like that-" Charlie cut him off.

"It's for gotten about, let's leave it at that shall we?" He asked.

Cal nodded.

Charlie watched the younger man warily, wondering what he was thinking of, "I was having a great old' conversation with your dad before he decided to collapse on me" Charlie stated jokingly.

"About Ethan no doubt" Cal replied, that was all his father would talk about.

"No actually, I don't think he even came up in the conversation once, we were talking about you" he told him confidently.

"Me?" Cal looked up at him surprised.

Charlie nodded and continued, "You know, your father is sorry for what he did to you, he was saying how he can't sleep at night because of it" he said.

"Good" Cal scoffed.

"He really is sorry Cal and he just wants to tell you that, he understands that you hate him even though it breaks his heart" Charlie told him.

"Breaks his heart?" Cal asked, "Charlie he's always hated me" he shook his head.

"That's not true Caleb" Charlie told him, "look, the reason he was so strict with you is because he had no one to be strict with him, he had to be strict with himself as a child...you know he almost didn't make it into medical school? He was too interested in football apparently" He said as he recalled the conversation with Cal's father, "he just wanted the best for you, the saying being cruel to be kind springs to mind" he told him.

"But why did he have to drug me? I don't understand that" Cal said.

"He didn't mention that part to me but maybe he thought that was the only way he could deal with it?" He suggested and Cal looked back down as the thought again, "look don't take my word for it, speak to him" Charlie told him.

Cal debated it for a moment before he shook his head.

"All he said was that he'd never make the same mistake again" Charlie said.

"Cal?" Connie's voice snapped him from their conversation. "I know you're due to finish any minute but there's a major RTC coming in, is there any way you could stay for a while? We could do with you here" she asked, "I've asked Ethan too" she added/

"Yeah okay" Cal replied as he stood up; he felt like throwing himself into work anyway to keep his mind off things.

"Okay, Ethan is on minors in cubicles and you're in RESUS" She told him as she left back to work. He sighed deeply; working in RESUS meant being in the same room as his father which was something he really wasn't in the mood for right now.

But was Cal in the right state of mind to work after his emotional breakdown? Charlie wondered to himself.

Cal left the staffroom and was met instantly by Iain and Jez who hurried through with a trolley, "Straight through to RESUS" Cal told them unenthusiastically after listening to Iain's brief of the patient's condition. They burst through the doors of RESUS and Cal's eyes were instantly drawn to his father who was now sat up and awake, he too stared back.

"...Cal?" Iain asked impatiently reminding him there was a patient that needed a bed.

"Oh..." Cal looked around for a bed furthest away from his father's, "Get him in the first bay" he told them.

"Cal this one's still getting cleaned up get him over there in bay four" Rita replied as she tidied the bed in bay one.

Cal looked over at bay four which just so happened to be the bed right next to his father's, he sighed deeply and looked back at his patient, he actually considered making him wait for the bed to be cleaned in bay one but his instincts as a doctor were much greater than his instincts to get away from his father, "fine, bay four please" he announced and Iain and Jez hurried the patient over.

They got him off the trolley and onto the bed. Cal stood in between his patient's and his father's bed and prepared to examine his patient.

"No pressure Caleb" his father spoke mischievously as he watched his every move intently.

Cal acted as if he hadn't heard him as he flashed his torch in his patient's eyes, "Right Mr Wilson, my name is Doctor Knight but you can call me Cal, I'm going to be the Doctor treating you today, don't worry, I'm good at my job I'll get you better in no time" Cal smiled cheekily as he placed his stethoscope on his patient's chest and listened intently.

"You're shaking" His father noticed.

"Pupils are immobilised and I want a full trauma scan done please" Cal told Lofty who nodded. Cal tapped on his patient's chest as he continued to examine him, his patient called out in pain, "Would you like something for the pain?" he asked.

"No" His patient replied.

"There are no heroes when it comes to putting up with pain" Cal told him.

"Go on then" His patient winced.

Cal smiled at him and turned to Lofty, "Right I want 10 of morphine and let's get him some more fluids" He told him as he stopped to think for a moment.

"What are you thinking?" his father asked, "pneumothorax?" he continued.

"Can you just be quiet please?" Cal snapped not even looking at his father, "Right I want a chest X-ray before we even think about a CT" Cal threw out his orders and stood back whilst everyone got to work. His patient was then rushed out for a chest X-ray and Cal stood reading over his patient's notes; he didn't want to miss anything, especially with his biggest critic watching just waiting for him to slip up.

"Come on Caleb, I want to know what you're thinking, what's your diagnosis son?" His father asked; the use of the word son angered Cal.

"I can't discuss another patient's condition" Cal replied responsibly.

"I hope you haven't ruled out a tamponade, did you even check for Beck's triad?" He asked, realisation suddenly overpowered Cal and he sighed deeply, "Let's just hope you haven't left it too late eh?" he smiled deviously.

"What do you mean?" Cal asked confused at what he was getting at.

"Did you not see his DNR bracelet?" His father asked, "Oh come on Caleb you have to get with it" he told him.

"Oh no" Cal spat out as he looked out of the door his patient had just left, "well surely that'll only stand for the final stages of terminal illness right? He's got heart disease; it won't be a DNR for a trauma...right?" He asked his father helplessly.

"Well you better ask him that question yourself before its too late Caleb, you'll have to follow his wishes whether it's for the final stages of a terminal illness or not" his father spoke responsibly. Cal nodded as he thought about what to do. "I'm quite glad you decided on the name Knight now" his father laughed as Cal rushed out to receive his patient for further testing, "such a liability" his father shook his head.

Of all the people to catch Cal make a mistake it _had_ to be him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone! I apologise for the infrequent updates, not only have I been super busy but I've been super unwell too over the last month or so, I should be getting back on the frequent updates again soon, I hope you all understand and thanks for sticking with me. I will also be posting the first of the sequel to "Good and bad things" soon so watch this space...Here's the next chapter of I'll always be a Knight, Cal's father pushes him to make a seriously life threatening decision, please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter Five

The wait was agonising, physically agonising. Cal stood at the foot of his patient's bed and watched on helplessly as he arrested and he couldn't do a thing about it because this man had a DNR. He felt so useless, all he wanted to do was step up and help but he couldn't, he knew he'd be going against the man's wishes. His own words ran hauntingly through his head _"I'm going to be the Doctor treating you today, don't worry, I'm good at my job I'll get you better in no time"_ yet the man who he spoke those words to was dying right before his eyes. He felt awful and to make matters worse his dad was sat in the next bed watching the entire thing with the smuggest look you've ever seen in your life etched on his face. The machine flat lined, "time of death..." Lofty's voice disappeared into background noise as Cal took hold of the DNR bracelet that was around his patient's wrist in his hand, if only he'd paid more attention this entire thing could've been avoided. He undone the bracelet and held his tight in his hand.

"You did well kid" a voice snapped him from his thoughts.

"What?" He snapped back at his father's obvious sarcastic comment.

"Everyone has down day's right?" He spoke manipulatively, "well, I didn't but that's just me" he spoke smugly, Cal rolled his eyes and turned away, "I'm kidding Caleb, it was a joke" he smirked.

"I don't want to talk to you" Cal told him.

"Am I weirding you out because I'm being nice to you?" His father asked.

Cal thought about it for a moment before he turned to face him, "yes actually, you are this isn't like you" he stated.

"Okay well, hmm..." His father thought, "You did atrociously then. You barely checked him over and he didn't even make it to X-Ray before he went off, I'm sat here on what could be my deathbed and even I could tell what was wrong with the guy, if I were still running this ED you'd be out after that performance and I'd have you blacklisted so you never get another job in the medical profession again. You better hope to God his family don't get the lawyers involved because you could actually end up losing your job. Yes tamponades can be hard to spot but it says something when a dying man can spot it before the doctor. I'm disappointed, Doctor _Knight_ , to say the least, maybe I should've left you playing football you'd probably be more use to this hospital if you were kicking a ball around a pitch somewhere." His father spat out bluntly.

Cal looked at him for a moment before he nodded and turned to walk out. He made his way to the nursing station and slammed his late patient's notes down on the countertop forcefully causing the room to fall silent for a moment.

"What's rattled your cage?" Ethan asked from the other side of the nursing station.

"Do you even have to ask?" Cal replied as he shot a snarl back up at him.

"I thought you were going to give him a chance Caleb? I thought you said he doesn't seem that bad anymore?" Ethan asked confused.

"Yeah, well, I was wrong" Cal shrugged, "ugh I'm losing my mind, I feel like I've gone back to being 16 years old" he whined.

Ethan watched him warily as he made his way beside him and looked up through the window of RESUS where their father was. Two men wheeled out the body of Cal's patient as he did Cal sighed deeply and held his head in his hands.

"I just want him out of my life Ethan, I was feeling fine before he waltzed his way back into it...one second he looks like he's at death's door, the next he's back to being the bully he always has been to me" Cal announced.

"You know, a part of me just wants him to be out of pain. He's acting like he's fine but he's not; he's in agony" Ethan spoke as he watched his father hauntingly, "he hasn't got long left" he stated sadly.

Cal looked up at him suddenly, "I think it would be best for both of us if he just hurry up and died don't you?" He asked.

"What an awfully selfish thing to say Caleb, he'll die when he's ready it doesn't matter what's more convenient for us" Ethan snapped.

"But you just said so yourself you want him out of pain and the only way he could be out of pain is if he dies right?" Cal asked.

"Cal you're talking like a crazy person" Ethan looked at him in shock, "when was the last time you got some sleep? I've heard you up the past few nights" he told him.

"Cal your next patient is waiting" Connie told him.

"On it Mrs Beauchamp" he replied.

"Cal..." Ethan grabbed him by his arm, "don't be overworking yourself you'll end up having a breakdown or something, and don't let Dad get to you alright?" He told his older brother who nodded in reply and disappeared back to RESUS.

"His he okay?" Charlie asked warily as he watched Cal walk away.

"I've got a terrible feeling he's going to do something he'll regret, but I just don't know what" Ethan replied, "he's not himself lately Charlie and it's worrying me" he admitted.

"I think everything with your father is just hitting home, it's bringing back unwanted memories to him but he'll be okay, you're brother is strong" Charlie told him confidently.

"He was strong when he was younger too and look how he was back then" Ethan replied dreadfully.

"Get back to work Ethan, you've got enough in with your dad to be worrying about your brother too" Charlie smiled at him sympathetically.

Cal had examined his patient and he was adamant he wasn't going to lose this one, "right I'll just go chase up your notes" he told her; she smiled at him gratefully.

"Doctor Knight could you see if you can find your father's too? Young Robyn left with them a while ago and she hasn't brought them back" Dylan explained as he stood beside Cal's sleeping father.

"Fine" Cal huffed.

He got his patients notes and found his father's notes by the phone at the nursing station, there was a phone number messily scribbled down on a piece of paper that had been paper clipped to it but he thought nothing of it. He made his way back into RESUS to find his father was alone; he slowly walked over to him and watched him as he slept. He had so much hatred built up inside of him; Cal had never hated someone so much before in his life. He watched him and his mind flooded with every bad memory he had ever had with him; they overpowered him. He put his hands in his pocket and felt something; the DNR bracelet he took off his patient from earlier. Suddenly an idea sprung upon Cal. He pulled out the bracelet and examined it in his hands...was he what he was thinking of doing actually something a sane person would do? His little brother had practically just told him he wished their father was dead so he'd be out of pain and so why let him suffer? This would be the nice thing to do...right? He debated his idea for a moment before he went in for the kill; literally. He took in a deep breath and took hold of his father's right hand; he pushed up the cuff of his shirt and clipped the DNR bracelet on around his wrist before he pulled the cuff back down hiding it. He wasn't thinking straight. His father made him not think straight...but he instantly regretted his decision, just as he was about to take it off Robyn appeared at his side startling him.

"How're you feeling?" She asked him sincerely.

Cal let go of his father's hand swiftly and turned to Robyn, "fine, I'm fine" he told her frantically wondering whether she'd seeing anything.

"Don't let me disturb you" she told him, "do what you have to do, I know you and your dad don't have the best of pasts but is it really worth the life time of guilt you'll have in the pit of your stomach forever knowing he died thinking his son hates him? Obviously you don't hate him if you're stood holding his hand whilst he sleeps" Robyn looked at him knowingly, "just, don't leave it too late to tell him how you actually feel Cal, how often do we hear patient's regretting the last thing they said to a loved one who'd died?" She added.

Cal nodded; what she said was true and he already felt sick to his core the fact he'd put the bracelet on his father's wrist but what's done is done there was no way he was going to get it back off him now; he just had to hope his father didn't take a bad turn, or worse; wake up and find the bracelet on him, he'd know exactly who put it there.

"Cal she's ready for a CT now" Lofty spoke out gesturing to his patient.

"Okay" Cal made his way over as Max wheeled his patient out, he looked over at his father before he left and just hoped to God he'd hang on until he got back so he could sneak the bracelet back off him.

He rushed his patient back to RESUS as quickly as he could and with the biggest sigh of relief ever he discovered his father was just how he left him.

"How's he doing?" He asked Connie who looked at him in dread.

"Not too good, I'm not happy with his obs" she told him, Cal suddenly found the ground interesting, "but don't worry we're going to do all we can for him" she gave him a reassuring smile.

Cal made his way back over to his patient and continued treating her but he was listening in to everything Connie, Dylan and Robyn said about his father as they worked.

"They she say that's your dad over there Doctor?" His patient asked snapping him from his thoughts.

"Yeah that's right" Cal replied as he looked over at him.

"Well you shouldn't be working, you should be spending as much time with him as you can" she told him.

"...it's complicated" Cal informed her, "anyway, if I were spending time with him I wouldn't be here to make you better now would I?" Cal grinned cheekily and as he did so there was a sound that ripped through the room; it was his father's machine going off. Cal turned and watched on hauntingly.

"He's lost output" Connie announced as her and Dylan sprung into action.

Robyn helped Dylan lay George's bed back so he was laying flat. Just as Connie stepped up to start chest compressions Robyn discovered his DNR bracelet.

"Stop!" She shouted suddenly, "he's got a DNR, stop!" She announced.

"What? I didn't read anything about that in his notes, where are they?" Connie asked frantically.

Suddenly realisation grew over Cal that he still had hold of his father's notes, hidden within his current patient's.

"I asked Cal to get them earlier" Dylan said and suddenly all eyes were on him but he was frozen, his father was going to die and it was all his fault, this can be classed as murder right? He could lose his job, heck, he go to jail! Cal's heart was beating hard in his chest.

"Go and be with your Dad Doctor" his patient told him but he remained frozen.

"Cal..." Charlie spoke softly as he approached him carefully, Cal looked up at him with tears in his eyes, "this is goodbye" Charlie told him, "you need so say goodbye now there's nothing more we can do for him" he said.

Cal shook his head and stormed out of the room in search of his brother who he found working in a cubicle, "Ethan" he spoke suddenly as he ripped open the curtain, he didn't have to say another word, Ethan knew exactly what that meant; he was already sprinting his way to RESUS.

"Dad?" Ethan called in shock as he burst through the door, "dad?!" He spoke desperately. "Dylan! Do something!" He begged, "Mrs Beauchamp please!" He pleaded. "Why isn't anyone doing anything?" He roared angrily.

"Ethan he has a DNR" Connie spoke softly.

Ethan's heart plummeted, "no" he shook his head "no it can't be" he mumbled.

"It's true Ethan look he's got a DNR bracelet on" Robyn showed it off to him.

"No we've spoken about DNR's and he said they were the coward's way out, he would never get a DNR there must be some mistake" Ethan shouted as Cal made his way back into RESUS sheepishly; he stood by the door.

"There's no mistake, he can't accidentally be wearing a DNR bracelet" Dylan replied bluntly.

"I've just got him back, I've just got him back, I can't lose him again!" Ethan stepped up and began chest compressions.

"Doctor Hardy I suggest you stand down immediately, you cannot treat a family member and you are going against his wishes by resuscitating him" Connie told him sternly.

"His wishes were to find me and Cal again, he can't leave now" Ethan spoke breathlessly as he pumped hard down on his father's chest. After completing the 30 chest compressions he turned to grab the defibrillator but Dylan pulled it away, "Dylan please... it's my dad" Ethan begged but Dylan stood his ground. Ethan turned and began chest compressions once more with tears racing down his face, "you don't know you my Dad like I do, he wouldn't give up like that he wouldn't!" Ethan shouted as he continued the chest compressions, "I've just got you back, I've just got you back" he whimpered repeatedly.

Cal suddenly sprung into action seeing the emotional mess his little brother was currently in, he grabbed the defibrillator from the side of his patient's bed and hurried over, "Eth" Cal spoke handing it to him.

"Doctor Knight!" Connie roared furiously at him as Ethan set it up.

"Clear, shocking" Ethan announced as he stepped back and watched his father's body jolt with the electric impulses that had been shot into his body.

The noise coming from their father's machine returned to normal, as did his heart rate.

"Oh thank God" Ethan let out a huge sigh of relief as he wiped away his tears; he turned to his brother who stood behind him and hugged him tightly.

"It's okay, he's back" Cal told him; he now saw just how much his father meant to his little brother.

"Here are his notes" Robyn announced as she'd found them hidden within Cal's patient's notes. Cal's heart sank. "It says nothing about a DNR in here" she spoke confused as she made her way over.

"I knew it! He's against DNR's, he hates them he told me himself" Ethan spoke defensively as he pulled away from his brother's embrace.

"Well then why has he got a DNR bracelet on?" Dylan spoke confused.

"Our patient had a DNR bracelet on earlier, the one that died" Lofty announced looking at Cal who slowly backed away.

Realisation grew over Ethan and Charlie instantly, "Caleb..." Ethan spoke in disgust, "how did _your_ patient's DNR bracelet get on _our_ father's wrist?" He asked.

Cal shook his head as realisation grew over everyone else in the room too.

"Surely not Cal" Charlie joined in.

"I thought it was what you wanted Ethan! You said you wanted him out of pain!" Cal shouted as tears poured from his eyes.

"Yeah that doesn't mean kill him!" Ethan shouted back, "You could've killed him Cal he could be dead now, because of you!" Ethan roared.

"I'm sorry" Cal mumbled and hurried out of the room.

"Caleb wait! This isn't over!" Ethan shouted furiously as he chased after him.

"We'll have to investigate into this" Connie shook her head in disbelief as Robyn took the bracelet off George's wrist.

"No no look, they're both going through some tough times, Ethan was saying how he's worried Cal might be having some type of breakdown just let me talk to them first" Charlie proposed.

"Ethan is right he could've killed his father, this isn't to be dealt with lightly" Dylan spoke out.

"Well he didn't did he? His father's fine now, there's no need to make it into something bigger than it already is, sure if George had died things would be completely different but he didn't die did he? And you of all people should know what it's like having a breakdown Dylan" Charlie spoke in Cal's defence and left to find the brothers.

"Thank God for Ethan, that's all I'm saying" Robyn spoke out in shock.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone! I've got quite a big chapter for you all today. Cal and Ethan finally find out the secret their father has been keeping from them and let's just say it's a shocker. I hope you enjoy, please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter six

"I can't believe you Caleb! Our dad! You did that to our dad! Why would you even think to do that anyway? Why would something like that even come to someone's mind? You need help Cal, seriously you do" Ethan told him furiously as he followed his brother into the staff room.

"I know" Cal replied as he sat down on the couch and held his head in his hands hoping his brother would just give it a rest.

"Our dad" Ethan shook his head in disbelief, "I don't want you near him again, actually, I don't want you near me, I can't even look at you right now, you know a part of me wants to tell the police" He said.

"There's no need for that" Charlie butted in as he made his way inside.

Ethan's face reddened, "Charlie he-" Charlie cut him off.

"I know exactly what he did and I'm sure at the time he had a reasonable explanation for his actions but now he's thinking straight, aren't you Cal?" He asked, Cal nodded but kept his head in his hands, "so no harm done right?" Charlie smiled.

"No harm done?! He could've died!" Ethan roared.

"But he didn't!" Charlie shouted, "look boys, your father may not have a lot of time left and I know him, he'll want you there because although he never made it clear to you, he loves his children he'd never stop talking about you when you were younger" Charlie told them both calmly.

After debating it for a few moments Ethan sighed, what Charlie said was true. Right now they had to be there for their father, he can have a go at Cal later, "Fine" Ethan huffed, "we'll be there for dad but don't think I'm anywhere near ready to forgive you Caleb" he told him sternly as he left.

Cal nodded and followed him out, "Ethan I _am_ sorry" he told him sheepishly.

"Yeah well just imagine how sorry you'd feel in a jail cell for murdering your father if I didn't step up back there" Ethan huffed as he suddenly froze at the door to RESUS; his jaw dropped.

"What?" Cal asked him confused, "What's up?" He urged as he looked at his little brother stood in open-mouthed shock.

Ethan gestured to the door and Cal looked through it.

There was his father in his bed, stood beside his bed was a lady and on his bed were two young children which he held tightly in his arms. He was smiling; so we're they. His smile quickly dropped when he saw Cal and Ethan looking in at him through the door with shocked expressions on their faces. He gestured for them to come in; they made their way over to him warily. He'd moved over slightly in his bed to fit the two children on, there was a young girl and an even younger boy who was fiddling about.

"Daddy what does this do?" The boy asked as he tugged on his intravenous drip.

"No, don't pull that buddy" George told him as he moved his hand away from it.

"Daddy who are these men?" The girl asked looking at Cal and Ethan shyly.

Cal and Ethan froze as they looked at the two young children call their father "Daddy".

"This is Ethan, and Caleb, they're doctors too" he introduced them.

"Are they going to make you better?" she asked innocently.

"No darling, they're just old acquaintances" he told her as he gave Cal and Ethan _a look_.

"I'm Madison, but everyone calls me Maddie" she smiled as she flicked her long brown hair over her shoulder and held her hand out for them to shake, they did so awkwardly; this all felt like a daze.

"My name's Peter and I'm a dinosaur! ROAR!" The boy yelled.

"Peter settle down, you've got to be quiet in hospital there are very poorly people in here" George explained.

"Oh but being quiet is boring!" Peter huffed and sat himself down.

"Where are your manners? Shake Ethan and Caleb's hands" George told him.

Peter sighed and held his hand out to Cal to shake, just as he went to take hold of it Peter pulled his hand away and thumbed his nose at him, sticking out his tongue as he did so causing everyone to laugh, even Ethan cracked a smile at his brother being fooled although the pair of them were still in shock.

"Right George I'll have to get off, I'll come back later to see how you're doing and to pick these two up, they can stay with me for the night if you're kept in" the woman stood beside his bed told him.

"Thanks for getting them for me" George replied.

"Get yourself better okay?" She smiled and left.

"I want sweets!" Peter announced.

"Max!" Ethan called over seeing him just about to leave.

"Can you take Peter and Maddie to the vending machine please?" He asked.

Max shook his head, "I can't I was just going to-" Ethan cut him off.

"Great thanks!" He pushed the kids towards them and handed him some money.

Max sighed deeply and led the kids away.

Ethan turned back to face his father. Neither Cal nor Ethan could bring themselves to speak at this time; they couldn't fathom what they'd just witnessed.

"...so yeah, that was what I had to tell you two" their father spoke awkwardly, "Maddie is nine, she's so smart it's unbelievable she's like no child I've ever known, and Peter, well, Peter's just turned five, he drives me up the wall sometimes" he told them, "but I wouldn't change him for the world" he added.

"You, you've got kids" Ethan spoke bewildered.

Suddenly realisation came over Cal, "...are they the kids of the nurse you cheated on mum with?" He mumbled.

"...Yes" their father replied sheepishly, Cal's face reddened instantly, "I loved her Caleb you have to know that, I know you hate me for leaving your mother but I didn't do it out of fun I did it because I loved her, I didn't leave your mother until you two had grown up so could be there for you" he told them.

"Oh well aren't you a big hero eh?" Cal spat out sarcastically.

"Did you ever love mum?" Ethan asked, his voice was almost a whisper.

"Of course I did! I loved the bones of that woman, we fell more and more out of love with each other as time went on, we'd argue over you two too much and we ended up fighting constantly, it wasn't a healthy relationship" he explained.

"Oh but getting off on someone in work is?" Cal scoffed.

"Look, it obviously wasn't some fling, two kids came out of it" he reasoned.

"Well where is she now? I'd love to meet the woman who tore our family apart" Cal announced, "was that her who's just left?" He asked looking over his shoulder at the door.

His father shook his head, "that was my neighbour, I got that nurse Robyn to phone and ask if she'll pick the kids up from school for me" he explained, "Katherine died not long after giving birth to Peter" he stated mournfully, "he was only a few days old" he added.

"So you had to bring those children up on your own?" Ethan asked, there was a sudden change in his tone.

"Yes" he replied.

"You shouldn't be allowed to bring children up after what you did to me, I feel so sorry for those kids having you as a father" Cal scoffed.

"Caleb, look, I'm sorry for what I did to you okay? I'm genuinely sorry I know it was wrong but at the time I didn't, I just enjoyed having a quiet house every now and then, I understand if you never forgive me but things are different with Maddie and Peter, I've realised they need to have a childhood, I've learnt now" their father finished off his speech by coughing heavily, Ethan placed his oxygen mask back on his face.

"Well, it's about time" Cal replied.

Suddenly the door burst open and in ran Peter with a hand full of sweets, Maddie followed behind eating a chocolate bar and stood beside Ethan and Cal as Peter jumped back on his father's bed, George took his oxygen mask back off. Max slowly walked through the door dragging his feet as he did so, "never again" he spoke out breathlessly.

"What?" Ethan asked confused.

"Never make me in charge of them again, Maddie I can deal with, she's fine, but Peter, nope. I feel like I've ran a marathon and I've only been down the corridor, that kid is fast. And he shook the vending machine until all the sweets fell out, I'm not complaining about that bit though..." He winked as he put some sweets in his mouth and wondered out.

"I don't think sweets are the best thing for you right now Peter" his father told him but Peter ignored him and continued to eat.

"Your name badge says Doctor Hardy" Maddie noted as she looked up at Ethan's name badge, "just like my Daddy's" she noted as she fiddled with it, "Ethan?" She asked as she read it, "are you Ethan daddy's son?" She asked in retaliation.

Ethan looked awkwardly at his father and then back down to Maddie.

"Daddy always tells us stories about you Ethan! He says you I'm smart like you and that I can be a doctor too, did you really have giant tonsils when you were Peter's age?" She asked excitedly, she'd met the man from all the stories her father would tell her.

"Yeah that's right" Ethan spoke awkwardly.

"So does that mean you're my brother?" She gasped.

"Well, half brother yes I suppose" Ethan told her.

Maddie threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, Ethan put his arms around her awkwardly as she squeezed him, "Peter look, this is our big brother!" She told him excitedly but he was too busy fiddling with his father's intravenous drip to notice.

"And who are you?" She asked as she looked at Cal.

"This is Caleb" Ethan answered for him thinking she'd know of him too.

"I know his name _silly"_ she replied sarcastically, "how do you know my Daddy?" She asked, Ethan looked at Cal awkwardly as he held his head down.

"Cal is _my_ brother" Ethan told her.

"So...he's my brother too?" She asked confused.

"That's right" Ethan smiled.

"But how come you're not in Daddy's stories? I've never heard of you before" she asked.

Cal looked at his father and then back to little Maddie, he didn't know what to say to her.

"Well you can get to know him now, can't they Cal?" Ethan suggested enthusiastically.

Cal looked at Peter and Maddie and then stormed out leaving them stood awkwardly.

"Did I upset him?" Maddie asked sadly.

"No Maddie, no he just doesn't feel very well today" Ethan made up whatever excuse he could.

"Has he gone to be sick? Is he sick like my Dad? Will he die too?" She bombarded Ethan with questions.

"No, no, and no" Ethan replied to them all and hurried out after his brother.

He found him in the staff room again.

"Was I really that bad of a son that he had to act like I didn't even exist?" Cal asked amazed.

"Caleb he's probably ashamed of what he did to you to be telling stories about you" Ethan spoke trying to make him feel better.

Cal just shook his head.

"Cal imagine if I didn't step up when they noticed the DNR, those kids would be orphans now" Ethan spoke sadly.

"I know" Cal replied sheepishly, "I am sorry" he spoke sincerely.

"I know you are" Ethan replied, "but whether he died back then or not, those kids are going to become orphans at some point" he shook his head as he thought, "maybe that's why he's had no chemotherapy, so he could focus on spending time with them" he stated, "look, Cal, he's had to bring up two kids on his own, surely that's changed him?" he asked.

"Well let's just hope so because I'd hate for one of those kids to go through what I went through-" a voice cut him off.

"What did you go through?" Little Peter asked as he appeared in the doorway, "A tunnel?" he asked, "I've been through a tunnel before" he spoke excitedly as he made his way in and looked around the room. He ran over to the cupboards and opened each one.

"He didn't mean a tunnel Peter" Ethan laughed.

Peter then climbed on top of the counters so he could reach the top cupboards.

"Get down from there you could fall" Cal pulled him down and placed him on the couch.

Peter stood up and jumped up and down on the couch, "You look like my Daddy" he announced as he bounced.

Cal rolled his eyes; he was so sick of hearing that, "Do you ever keep still?" Cal asked as he watched the boy.

"Keeping still is boring" Peter whined as he jumped down from the couch and went over to the table where the chess board was set up, he stood up on his tiptoes so he could see over the top, "what's this?" he asked.

"Ah this is chess" Ethan smiled; he loved chess, "it's a game" he told him.

"I love games! Can we play? I'll be the horse" Peter grinned as he picked up the black horse piece.

"Ah that's not how it works, it may be a bit complicated for you Peter" Ethan explained.

"Will you be my friend?" Peter asked.

"Of course I will" Ethan replied with a smile.

"Not you, Caleb" Peter replied gesturing over to Cal who looked over confused.

"Why don't you be friends with Ethan?" He asked.

"Because I don't like Ethan, I like you, Maddie likes Ethan" Peter replied bluntly as he fiddled with the horse chess piece.

"Oh we've got favourites already have we?" Ethan smirked, "Fine then, Maddie's my favourite too" He joked as he stuck his tongue out at Peter who laughed.

"Will you be my friend Caleb?" He asked innocently.

"Has he set you up to this?" Cal snapped.

"Cal..." Ethan warned.

"Who set me up to do what?" Peter asked confused as he looked up at him.

"Nothing, never mind" Cal sighed, "yes fine I'll be your friend and its _Cal_ not Caleb" He told him.

"Can we play a game Cal?" He asked excitedly.

"I'm not really in the mood for a game right now Peter let's just sit in here and-" Peter cut him off.

"Tag you're it!" he tapped him and ran away deep into the hospital.

"Peter!" Ethan and Cal shouted simultaneously out the doorway where Maddie appeared.

"Mrs Beauchamp said Dad needs some rest so I've come to the staff room to do my homework" she explained shyly as she held onto her books tightly.

"Oh, okay well, you can sit there on the couch and do it, I just need to find your brother" Ethan told her.

"He's your brother too remember" she told him.

"Yes, you're right" he replied awkwardly as he head for the door.

"Can't you help me Ethan?" she asked.

Ethan looked over at Maddie's disappointed look on her face and was filled with guilt; he knew already she didn't get much attention with her little brother being such an energetic child.

"You stay with Maddie, I'll go and find Peter...he is my new best friend after all" Cal spoke sarcastically as he left in search of the youngest of his newly discovered half siblings.

Hours had past and the day was drawing to an end. Cal had spent the majority of the day chasing after Peter; that boy really couldn't keep still, which got some alarm bells ringing in the back of Cal's mind and he was determined to get to the bottom of it. Admittedly Cal and Ethan had both really bonded with the two children and it actually seemed like they'd gained two new little friends.

"They're really tired" Ethan spoke quietly as he and his brother looked over at the two children laying across the couch in the staffroom, Cal nodded, "I'm going to see what Dad's got planned for them, they might end up spending the night at ours if it's easier for him" Ethan told him but Cal had already came to that conclusion himself. Ethan left to visit their father and Cal saw an opportunity unfold.

"Okay Peter, I've got a new game for you" Cal told him.

Peter gasped excitedly and sat up, "what's the game?" He asked.

"It's called statues, whoever stays the stillest for the longest wins" Cal explained.

"Wins what?" Maddie asked as she put down her book.

Cal thought for a moment, "sweets" he told them with a shrug.

"Can I play too?" Maddie asked.

"Of course you can" Cal smiled, "are you two ready? 1, 2, 3...freeze" Cal said. It took Peter at least five seconds before he lost interest and started to jiggle his legs and look around the room.

"Peter you're out" Cal sighed.

"I won" Maddie grinned.

"Look, really try this time Peter okay?" Cal asked desperately.

"This game is boring" Peter whined.

"1, 2, 3...freeze" Maddie announced and her, Cal and Peter froze. Cal kept still and had his eyes on Peter; monitoring him...it took him around seven seconds to lose interest this time.

"Can we have sweets now?" He asked.

"Peter what are you like in school?" Cal asked but Peter ignored him as he picked up one of Maddie's pens and started to draw.

"He always gets into trouble because he always talks and fidgets too much" Maddie told Cal who nodded slowly, it was all making sense.

"Does your Daddy shout at you a lot Peter?" Cal asked taking the pen from his hands to get his attention.

"Sometimes, only when I'm naughty, he doesn't shout that much now because he's poorly" Peter explained.

"Does he give you any medication?" Cal asked.

"Any what?" Peter asked confused.

"Sorry, medicine? Does your Daddy give you any medicine?" He asked.

"Only when _I'm_ poorly" Peter replied as he picked up the pen again and continued to draw.

"Right, okay" Cal nodded.

"Ugh I'm bored" Peter sighed as he threw the pen away.

"Hey that's mine!" Maddie snapped as she picked it up.

"Peter, does it frustrate you that you can't keep still and that you find everything boring all the time?" Cal asked him.

To which the boy nodded, "I wish I could be like my friends but I just get bored, I wish I could read a book like Maddie does but...I can't" he shrugged.

"Short attention span" Lofty spoke as he made his way into the staff room catching the end of Cal and the young boy's conversation.

"I think it's something more than that" Cal told him as he stood up, "Lofty could you watch them for a bit? I need to get to the bottom of something" he said.

"Of course" Lofty smiled.

Cal made his way to RESUS and walked straight to his father's bed.

"Where've you been?" George asked him.

"Looking after your kids" Cal replied.

"Ethan said you're good with kids" His father stated surprised.

"Yeah well I suppose the fact I didn't have a childhood allows me to admire it in kids who actually have one" Cal spoke sarcastically, "they're nice kids though" he admitted.

"Come on I know you're not in here to see how I am, what do you want?" His father asked knowingly.

"Peter" Cal started, "what's wrong with him?" He asked.

"No come on Doctor Knight I'm sure you can tell me that yourself, what are _you_ thinking? Win yourself back, what's your diagnosis?" His father asked.

Cal looked at him for a moment before he ran his hands through his hair, "ADHD" he sighed.

"Bingo" his father smiled, "ask me if he's on medication, go on" he urged.

"I already know he isn't I asked himself and let's be honest you can tell a mile off" Cal stated, "why don't you have him on medication?" He asked confused.

"Because I don't want a repeat of you" His father replied sincerely, "I couldn't have _another_ kid of mine grow up to hate me" he admitted.

"But Peter actually has ADHD, he actually needs the medication, I didn't, I never did" Cal told him.

"I'm not going to be the one to put him on it" his father shook his head, "how about this, spend more time with him while I'm in here and if you decide he'd be best trying medication then I'll allow you to prescribe it to him" his father proposed, "bedtime is the worst and getting him up of a morning, obviously you won't see that part but you can imagine" he told him. Cal gave him a snarl, even with patients he'd reluctantly prescribe medication for ADHD after what happened to him as a child, he didn't want to prescribe it to his little brother.

"Peter slow down!" Loft shouted as he burst through into RESUS chasing after Peter who hid behind Cal amusingly, Maddie slowly made her way in after him holding her books, "sorry Cal he just ran off" Lofty told him.

"Don't worry about it" Cal replied, "right you two, say goodbye to your Dad, you're staying at mine and Ethan's apartment tonight" He smiled as he ruffled Peter's brown hair. His father looked at him in complete shock; Cal was actually doing something to help him out. Wow.

"Goodnight Daddy" the two spoke out as he gave them both a kiss; Peter wiped his kiss away as he left, "when will we see him again?" Maddie asked looking up at Cal as they made their way to the door.

"Tomorrow" Cal told her.

"He won't die before then right?" she asked innocently.

Cal looked down at her sadly, "No Maddie" he reassured her.

"I don't want him to die" she mumbled as she took hold of Cal's hand which surprised him.

He gave her small hand a light squeeze, "come on let's get you home" he smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello everyone! I've had some new which could result in me going away for the summer to work starting next week and I'm not sure the place I'm going to has wifi so I'm going to try and get all my stories finished before I leave for you guys (hopefully I can do it). Here's the next chapter, Peter and Maddie stay at Ethan and Cal's...will it all run smoothly? Please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter seven

"You have a nice apartment" Maddie spoke awkwardly as she sat up straight on Ethan and Cal's couch. Peter lay across it flicking through the channels on the TV.

"Thank you Maddie" Ethan replied with a smile, "Did you enjoy your dinner?" He asked as he collected the two empty plates from them.

"Yes, thank you" she replied shyly.

Cal stood watching the two once Ethan returned from the kitchen he too joined his brother.

"You know, you don't have to feel awkward here, you know that right Maddie?" Ethan asked her.

Cal joined in, "just look at Peter, he's made himself at home straight away haven't you buddy?" He asked to which the boy nodded.

"I know you don't really know much about us Maddie but we're your family, so just make yourself at home" Ethan told her.

"I know everything about you from Dad's stories" she told him causing Ethan to smile.

"We're here to look after you okay? If there's anything you need just ask us" Ethan spoke carefully.

"Why does Cal have a different second name to all of us?" She asked catching the pair off guard.

"Oh, well, he..." Ethan stumbled for words.

"Knight was my mum's name" Cal told her, "I thought Caleb Knight sounded better than Caleb Hardy and so I changed it" he told her. Ethan smiled at him for not telling her the truth, it being he hates their father's guts.

"But why don't you call dad dad?" She asked confused. Neither Cal or Ethan knew how to reply, "you don't like him very much do you Cal?" She asked knowingly, "did you have an argument?" She asked.

"You could say that yes" Ethan replied for his brother.

"Why? What happened? Have you ever liked him Cal? Is that why you changed your name? Because you don't like him?" Maddie bombarded him with questions.

"Well, I, um..." Cal stuttered for words.

"Are you good doctors?" She asked.

"I'd like to think so yes" Ethan chuckled in reply.

She held her head down and thought for a moment before she spoke out, "So can you tell me if Dad is going to die?" She whimpered, "because I know he has cancer and I know cancer makes you die" she spoke as tears built in her eyes.

Ethan made his way over to her instantly and sat down beside her, "Hey..." He whispered as he put his arm around her, "don't cry Madison" he spoke softly, "Dad is in the best place he could possibly be when he's poorly, I promise you. I've asked my friends at the hospital to take extra special care of him for you okay?" Ethan smiled sadly.

"But my mummy went into hospital and she never came back out again, what if the same thing happens to my daddy?" She cried as she hugged him.

"Oh Maddie" Ethan sighed sadly as he looked over at Cal for help.

"Right, let's get you two to bed" Cal announced.

"But I'm not tired!" Peter protested with a yawn.

"Try saying that without yawning and it would be more believable" Cal laughed, "right, the room through there it is" Cal pointed as they toddled off.

"She's breaking my heart Cal, imagine losing both your parents at that age, she must be so scared" Ethan shook his head as he watched them wonder off.

"At least she's met her mum, Peter never did" Cal replied.

"What you're doing for Dad is really thoughtful Caleb, I'm proud" Ethan admitted.

"I'm not doing this for him, I'm doing it for _them_ , more so Peter" Cal told him bluntly. Their trail of thought was interrupted by the sound of the children arguing in Cal's bedroom.

"I'll sort them out" Cal told him, "We'll have a talk once they're asleep, there's a lot we need to discuss" he proposed.

"Okay" Ethan agreed.

"I won't be long" Cal wondered off to his bedroom. Ethan prepared the couch for Cal who would be staying on it tonight.

"Alright settle down you two" Cal shouted as he made his way into the room. Peter was bouncing up and down on his bed whilst Maddie was already tucked up and half asleep, "lie down Peter your sister is trying to sleep" Cal spoke sternly.

"So?" Peter shrugged and continued to jump up and down.

"Its bedtime now Peter, it's time to sleep" Cal took hold of the boy and sat him down.

"But I don't want to!" Peter shouted as he kicked Cal away and began jumping up and down once more.

Cal's patience was slipping away very quickly, he took a deep breath to try to calm himself, "Peter listen to me" Cal spoke calmly as he gently took hold of Peter's hands causing him to stop jumping, "I need to you lie down and try to sleep for me okay? I can see how tired you are and if you fight it it doesn't help. Now you making noise means I won't be able to sleep either who knows, I might just be too tired in the morning to buy you sweets for being good all night, you don't want that right?" He asked and Peter shook his head, "and Ethan could do with some beauty sleep, I don't need any of that" he added smugly, "so could you help us out matey and lie down now? It's getting very late" Cal spoke softly, Peter thought about it for a moment before he nodded and lay himself down, "thank you buddy" Cal smiled as he brushed his little brother's brown hair out of his eyes, "goodnight" he whispered and head for the door.

"What's he talking about? That was a walk in the park, you've just got to treat him with respect and he'll do the same to you" Cal muttered to himself thinking about his father as he made his way to the door.

But he'd spoken too soon, "ROAR!" Peter screamed as he jumped back up and bounced again on the bed, now making more noise than ever, "I don't want to sleep! I don't want to sleep!" Peter roared repeatedly. Cal sighed deeply and stormed back over to him.

"Right I've had enough of this behaviour, sit down!" Cal shouted but Peter just completely ignored him and continued to scream and shout at the top of his lungs.

"Peter!" Cal barked but he yet again was ignored...it soon became clear; this was going to be a long night.

Three and a half hours later, after a lot of shouting and tears from Peter during his protest of sleep, his sleep deprived body had finally given in.

A much appreciated silence had fallen over the apartment for the last half an hour. Ethan sat in the living room watching TV and enjoying the peace whilst it last. He figured the half an hour of silence meant Peter had finally given in to some sleep. He made his way to the bedroom to rescue his brother ready for their discussion they had planned but as he slowly pushed the door open he couldn't help but let out a chuckle at the sight he was met by. Maddie was curled up fast asleep hugging her pillow, on the other side of the bed Peter was spread out and he too was finally sleeping and in the middle of the two was Cal who lay at the wrong end of the bed fast asleep and snoring. He had his arm around Peter protectively as he slept; the fight in which he had with him to get him asleep must have taken it out of him. Ethan chuckled to himself and closed the door over; at least Cal was finally getting himself some sleep.

The next morning Ethan was surprised to discover Cal must've slept all night in his room with their two siblings. Their father was right, Peter definitely was a handful. "Cal..." Ethan called quietly as he popped his head into his bedroom, "Caleb" he called slightly louder as he took a step inside, unfortunately it was loud enough to wake Maddie but Cal didn't even stir.

"Ethan?" She whispered as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

"Sorry Maddie I didn't mean to wake you" Ethan told her quietly, "how did you sleep?" He asked as he made his way over to her, he couldn't help but crack a smile at her messy bed head. She didn't reply she just brought he knees up to her chest and hugged them. "Maddie?" Ethan asked as he watched her warily, "are you okay?" He took a seat beside her.

"I had a bad dream" she whispered.

"Ah, I hate bad dreams. I used to have this same one when I was your age I can still remember it so vividly. Caleb used to have this horrible stuffed clown toy with green hair and a big red smile, that thing petrified me. I used to have a bad dream about it coming to life and chasing me it was awful but in the end my favourite teddy, it was a brown dog called Bobos, he'd come to rescue me. I used to make Dad check that clown toy though to make sure it was still a toy every night before bed..." he told her, "thinking about it I was a genius, I came up with the plot for Chucky and Toy Story at nine years old" he laughed to himself before he continued excitedly, "You know-" Maddie cut him off.

"It was about dad" she said, "my bad dream" she added as she looked up at him sheepishly.

"Oh" Ethan spoke out, he didn't realise he was rambling, "what, what happened?" He stuttered awkwardly.

"He died" she told him.

"Oh Madison" Ethan sighed helplessly, "Look, you're nine years old, you should be having bad dreams about your toys coming to life...not your father dying" he put his arm around her.

"He's going to die though, because he's in the late stages of prostate cancer and the internet says if he gets worse it's probably because the cancer has spread, given his age and how strong the cancer is and the fact he didn't want any chemo or radiotherapy, the chances of him pulling through are slim...he's going to die and he's going to die soon, I know he is and when he does me and Peter will be taken away by social services and end up in care and no one will want Peter because he's naughty and no one will want me because I'm older so we'll end up getting separated and I won't see him until I grow up and, and then-" Ethan cut her off; he could see she was on the verge of a panic attack.

"Maddie, Maddie calm down" he told her as he held her shoulders and looked at her, "just breathe okay?" he spoke softly, she nodded and took a shaky deep breath in, "God you're just a kid" He stated angrily, "I don't even worry about half the stuff you do and I'm a grown, responsible adult" he shook his head, "You need to be a child Maddie, you need to go out and play on the swings in the park or something, you don't need to worry about anything okay? You've got me and Cal now, we'll take over the worrying from now on alright?" he told her as she hugged him, "what do you usually do for fun?" he asked her.

"I read" she told him.

"Okay" Ethan nodded; that was often his way of entertainment too, "What are you reading right now?" he asked.

She looked up at him sheepishly before she answered, "The fault in our stars" she mumbled.

Ethan sighed deeply, "The book about teenagers with cancer?" he asked knowingly.

"...yes" she told him.

Ethan shook his head, "I'm not allowing you to read anymore of that book Maddie, no wonder you're having nightmares about cancer" he spoke sternly, "what else do you do for fun? There must be something" he looked at her helplessly.

"I used to go to dance classes every Wednesday" she told him excitedly, "But then dad got sick and he couldn't take me anymore, I could've walked there myself but...then he couldn't afford them anymore because of the bills he has to pay so I stopped going" she explained.

"Right well, today is Wednesday" Ethan stated, "Madison get your dance shoes because I'm taking you to dance classes tonight" he announced with a smile.

"But Daddy can't afford them anymore" she told him as she shook her head at him.

"Well I can" he shrugged.

Her face lit up; for the first time ever he saw his little sister genuinely smile, "Oh thank you Ethan!" She gasped as she threw her arms around him once more.

"You don't have to thank me okay? I just want you to have some fun for once" He replied, "Now get into the kitchen, I'll be through to make you some breakfast soon" he told her, she nodded and wondered off, "And stay away from that book of yours!" he shouted after her.

He sat on the bed for a moment, just thinking over everything that'd just happened; it completely baffled him. He looked over his shoulder at Cal and Peter who were both fast asleep. Peter had his knees digging hard into Cal's back. Cal looked absolutely ridiculous lying still in yesterday's clothes with his head at the bottom of the bed. Ethan smiled to himself and nudged him, waking him up.

Before Cal even opened his eyes he let out a groan as his hands shot to his back.

"Morning" Ethan smiled at him.

Cal looked up at him confused as to why he was in his bedroom. He then scanned his bedroom and wondered why he was fully clothed and at the bottom of his bed...then he saw Peter asleep beside him and it all came back to him.

"I think my back is broken" he moaned, "He's had his legs digging into me all night, he doesn't even keep still in his sleep!" he told Ethan looked over at Peter as he slowly sat himself up wincing in pain.

"What happened to our discussion last night then?" Ethan asked with a knowing smirk.

Cal shook his head as he thought back, "Every time I'd try to leave the room he'd sob, he asked me to stay with him until he fell asleep. I ended up drawing circles with my finger on his back until he calmed down, it took him that long I must've fallen asleep too" he explained, "he can't go on like this forever" he stated in dread.

"Maybe he'll grow out of it" Ethan shrugged.

"Well what if he doesn't? I mean I doubt he'll be jumping up and down on his bed and screaming when he's 22 but he could still be finding it hard to sleep and that can wreck a person's life" Cal told him. "But I just don't want him on medication" he sighed, that was the one and only thing he and his father agreed on.

"Well it's a decision that's going to have to be made" Ethan stated, "right we've got to leave for work soon, I'll make breakfast, you get this one up" he added.

"Where's Maddie?" Cal asked.

"She's already up" Ethan replied as he left.

Cal sighed deeply and rested his head back against the mattress wincing as he did so, his back was well and truly aching.

"Peter" he called, "Peter wake up" he called a bit louder. The boy didn't even stir. "Peter?" He asked as he shook him, his eyes flickered open for a moment before he closed them again and rolled over to sleep.

"Keep me up all night, dig your legs into my back and then think you're getting a lie in? No way kiddo" Cal told him as he lifted the boy out of bed and stood him up but he was still half asleep, he stumbled forward only to be caught by Cal. Peter started to cry as Cal caught him, he clung onto his clothes as he wept. "Peter" Cal sighed as he stayed kneeling on the floor with the boy leaning into his embrace, "you've got to get up Buddy" he told him, but it just caused him to cry even more, he wrapped his arms around Cal's neck and he picked up him. Peter rested his head against Cal's shoulder and closed his eyes as they wondered into the kitchen together.

As he walked in his attention was drawn to Ethan and Maddie who were dancing together in the kitchen to some classical music on the radio. Maddie had her feet on top of Ethan's and he took the steps for them, they stood in a ballroom dancing stance, holding hands with one hand whilst the other held the other's body, Maddie was laughing, and so was he as he lowered her back for a dip.

"A-hem" Cal announced as he watched them, "I feel like I'm missing out on something here" he smiled.

"Maddie is a dancer" Ethan told him as he turned to continue making the breakfast.

"Oh really?" Cal asked looking at her surprised.

"Yes" she replied shyly, "Ethan's taking me to dance classes tonight I haven't been for months!" She announced excitedly.

"Is Ethan dancing too?" He asked.

"No don't be silly" she giggled, "It's only for kids" she added.

"Good because he has two left feet, he'd embarrass you in front of all of your friends" Cal smirked as Ethan shot a joking snarl in his direction.

"Dippy eggs and soldiers" Ethan placed a plate down before Maddie who dug in. "What's the deal here?" He asked as he looked at Peter who was asleep on Cal's shoulder.

"He wouldn't get up" Cal shrugged.

"He's always like that, but you've just got to make sure he gets up or he'll be even worse going to bed" Maddie explained.

"Right Peter, come on buddy, wake up" Ethan called as he placed his hand on his back; the boy didn't stir, "I've made you breakfast hey Peter, you don't want it to get cold do you?" Ethan continued, Peter turned his head away from him and buried it into Cal's neck.

"He'll never get up that way you need to be more strict with him" Maddie explained.

"Right!" Cal called loudly causing everyone to jump, including Peter who looked up at him with tired eyes, Cal placed him on a chair at table and placed his plate in front of him, "eat" he ordered but Peter pushed it away.

"I want to sleep!" He shouted as he rested his head against the table.

"Well it's a pity you weren't saying that last night isn't it? We wouldn't be in this situation now" Cal spoke as he leaned over the table, he lifted Peter's head up and pushed his plate back in front of him "eat your breakfast Peter" he spoke sternly.

"I don't want to!" He shouted as he pushed it away once more.

"Right okay then, no sweets for you _or_ Maddie today, you've been a little horror the whole time" Cal announced as he walked back into the kitchen with Peter's plate. Ethan watched on awkwardly.

"That's not fair! I've been good!" Maddie protested.

Cal just shrugged, "Peter's got to learn that his behaviour has consequences that affect others" he stated as he folded his arms.

Peter looked sheepishly at Maddie's disappointed face and then to Cal, "...I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Sorry what? I didn't catch that?" Cal spoke mischievously.

"I'm sorry" Peter spoke again slightly louder but it was still a mumble.

"Did you hear that Maddie? Because I didn't, it's a shame you won't get any sweets today isn't it?" Cal spoke making conversation.

"I'm sorry!" Peter shouted, "I'll have my breakfast now" he announced.

"Good boy" Cal placed his plate back in front of him and ruffled his hair.

Ethan was surprised how good Cal was with Peter, most people would give up on him; but not Cal.


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello everyone! Here's the next update. I just want to say thank you for any reviews that have been left so far on this and other stories of mine, although I don't reply to them I see every one of them and take them into consideration when writing future chapters/stories. They genuinely mean a lot to me and reading them make my day, I love hearing what you think of my stories and so please keep them coming in, they never go unappreciated (good or bad), I hope you enjoy this chapter and have a great day, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter eight

Cal and Ethan made their way through the ED doors together; Cal had hold of Peter's hand as he skipped alongside them. Charlie spotted them and made his way over, it was as though he'd been waiting for them.

"Where's Maddie?" He asked seeing there was only Peter with them.

"She wanted to go to school, she's aiming for 100% attendance apparently" Ethan told him with a smile, "I'm glad though, it'll give her a chance to take her mind off everything happening with her dad" He added.

Charlie nodded, "yeah...about him" he spoke slowly, Ethan looked at him in dread, "They moved him to the palliative ward early hours of this morning" he informed the brother's carefully.

Ethan felt his heat sink, but then he was filled with anger, "why didn't you call me Charlie?" He snapped.

"I sat with him for a while and he said he didn't want to worry you and the kids" Charlie explained.

Ethan nodded slowly, "I'll go up to see him on my break" he decided mournfully, "it's a good job Maddie isn't here" he added sadly.

Cal looked at his brother sympathetically; he could tell how much he dreaded the passing of their father.

"Right Peter, let's get you those sweets I promised you eh?" Cal smiled down at the boy who gasped excitedly and dragged him over to the shop.

Today's day of work proved a tough on for both Cal and Ethan. Cal was dealing with his aching back and also checking on Peter constantly which for a kid as hyperactive as Peter was a challenge. Ethan had other things on his mind like how his father was currently on his deathbed and how on earth was he going to break that news to his little sister Maddie?

Cal was on his break, he stood in the queue of the shop with Peter at his side. He needed a coffee in his system desperately; he was worn out.

"I'm bored!" Peter whined.

"There's not long left to wait matey then we can go up and see your dad okay?" Cal told him, "Why don't you find Max and play a game with him?" he suggested mischievously.

"I don't want to play with Max I want to play with you!" Peter announced as Cal paid for his coffee, how he longed for this coffee to touch his lips...

"Tag!" Peter tapped him and away, ran straight though the ED doors.

Cal sighed deeply; he placed his coffee down on the counter and chased after him out of the doors, "Peter!" Cal shouted as he watched him sprint across the car park without looking. He rushed after him, "Peter watch out!" Cal roared as an ambulance swerved quickly around the corner and head straight for Peter who ran straight out in front of it obliviously. Cal's heart jumped into his throat, his instincts kicked in. He sprinted and cut across in front of the ambulance just in time to knock Peter out of the way as the ambulance slammed on the breaks, if he had been a split second slower both he and Peter would be under the wheels.

"Peter" Cal spoke worryingly as he grabbed hold of him; people started to rush over to their aid, "Are you okay?" He asked as he looked him over frantically him but the boy was frozen in shock, "oh you're okay buddy don't worry, I've got you" Cal told him as he held the boy tightly in his arms, Peter started to cry as the shock of what had just happened rushed over him, "Shh it's okay" Cal whimpered as tears built in his eyes.

"Cal, is he okay?" Iain asked as he jumped down from the ambulance.

Cal managed to nod in reply.

"He just came from nowhere" Iain told him, "are you okay?" He asked as he kneeled down beside them.

"Yeah" Cal replied shakily as he thought; was he okay? He didn't even think about him, he just wanted to make sure Peter was safe, "yeah I'm fine" he told him as his nerves began to settle.

Iain and Jez helped him to his feet with the crying boy in his arms, "I need to get him checked over" Cal spoke as he made his way to the ED doors with him, "it's okay Peter" he mumbled repeatedly as he rushed back into ED.

Peter sat fidgeting on a bed in cubicles as Lily and Rita checked him over, Cal stood at the foot of the bed biting his nails nervously as he watched on.

"He's fine" Lily told him causing Cal to let out a sigh of relief, "What was he doing running out in front of ambulances?" She asked bluntly.

"He was playing a game, he just ran out" Cal spoke as he thought back.

"Yes well, you need more control over him, he could be dead right now" she told him sternly.

Cal just nodded.

"Have you considered dexamfetamine?" Lily asked, she could tell the boy had ADHD just from the short examination she'd given him.

"Sort of" Cal replied uneasily.

"He has a short attention span, he's constantly fidgeting, he's unable to concentrate on tasks, he has trouble sleeping and getting up of a morning and - as proven today – he has no sense of danger what so ever" Lily listed, "his condition put his life in danger today, some form of action needs to be taken out or next time he might not be so lucky" she whispered to Cal.

Cal nodded, he knew it would be for the best but he didn't want him on medication. It wrecked his childhood and he didn't want to be responsible for wrecking Peter's too. _"He actually needs it"_ he reminded himself in his head; it wouldn't be a repeat of him. He looked at his little brother who sat playing with Cal's stethoscope oblivious to the conversation going on around him. Lily was right, it would be unfair to allow poor Peter to carry on this way but Cal wouldn't start him on any medication without consulting him first.

"Peter, how are you feeling?" Cal asked as he took a seat on his bed.

"Bored" Peter sighed causing a smile to grow across Cal's face; that was obviously the answer he'd receive.

"You know how you say you wish you were like other the other kids who can concentrate and not get bored as easily as you?" Cal asked, Peter nodded slowly, "If I said I could get you medicine to help stop that would you want to try it out?" Cal asked carefully.

"You're asking a five year old his opinion on medication?" Lily scoffed; Cal shot a snarl at her.

Peter gasped excitedly, "Yes!" he shouted, "Will it make me better?" He asked with a grin.

"It should do yes" Cal told him.

"Please can I have it Cal? I want to be like my friends, I don't like being naughty but...I can't help it" Peter mumbled.

"Okay" Cal smiled at him; he looked over and nodded at Lily who left to write him up a prescription.

"Cal do you need checking over as well? You were nearly squished by that ambulance too" Rita spoke concerned.

"No, I'm fine" he told her.

"You're shaking" She noticed.

"I'm fine honestly" He smiled. He was lacking energy from his lack of sleep, he was running high off adrenaline from the accident and he was also petrified that he'd just given permission to start Peter on medication that could change the rest of his life; of course he'd be shaking.

Once he was happy Peter was fine he left to join Ethan in visiting their father; he only went to tell him his decision to make to give Peter his medication. Their father looked awful, in just a day he looked as though he'd dropped even more weight; he looked so small, weak, tired, old...Ethan could barely bring himself to look at him; they all knew the end was near.

"I think you made the right decision Caleb" His father told him as he slowly pulled off his oxygen mask, "Oh, they're not staying with you two tonight, my neighbour who dropped them off yesterday is taking them" George explained breathlessly as he pulled the mask back up to his face to take some breaths.

Ethan and Cal couldn't help but be disappointed, "why?" Ethan asked.

"Because I know what they're like and they're hard work, especially Peter, you need to focus on work not kids" His father replied looking at how worn out Cal looked.

"They're no trouble" Ethan told him, "anyway wouldn't you rather them be with family?" He asked.

"I've known Sally, my neighbour, for about 15 years, the kids have grew up knowing her and so looking at it they'd probably feel more comfortable being with them than you" he explained, "no offence" he added.

"Right" Ethan nodded awkwardly.

"Well I don't want Peter starting his medication today then, he can start it when I'm there to keep an eye on him and monitor him, not some random neighbour who doesn't even know what to look for" Cal spoke firmly.

"She used to be a nurse Caleb he'll be fine" He told him as he entered a coughing fit. Ethan grabbed a bowl and held it in front of his mouth in case he needed it but his father shooed it away.

"I don't care, he isn't starting it until I can watch over him and that's that" Cal put his foot down.

"Why do you care so much?" George asked amazed as Ethan placed the oxygen mask back on his father's face.

Cal just shook his head, "well then seen as though we don't have any kids to look after tonight I'm going out" Cal decided as he looked at his brother.

"Out?" George asked through his mask.

"Oh yeah, Caleb goes out and gets drunk at the most convenient times, don't you?" Ethan sighed as he looked at his father sadly.

"What? I'm not allowed a life now am I? Just because _his_ is ending?" Cal snapped shooting a snarl at his father.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the three.

"I didn't mean that" Ethan spoke as he held his head down.

"Whatever" Cal scoffed and stormed out of the room.

He made his way through the hospital and through reception, just as he was about to leave Rita shouted him.

He sighed deeply and stopped, "what?!" He snapped at her.

"What's gotten into you?" She asked as she reached him.

"Nothing, sorry" he held his head down.

"Peter's been asking for you" she told him, "here's his medication" she added as she held a prescription bag out, "because your dad is his next of kin though I'm giving it to him" she explained.

"What? No don't do that!" Cal shouted, "He can't be trusted-" he cut himself off suddenly as he noticed Rita looking at him uneasily, "I, I mean he's sick, he won't remember to give Peter his medication. Why don't you give it to me and I'll make sure he takes it?" He suggested.

"Okay..." She spoke warily as she handed it to him.

"I'll start him on it tomorrow" he smiled and head out the door. At least now he knew Sally, George's neighbour, couldn't start him on it until he got there which put his mind at ease slightly.

He hailed a taxi and within the hour he found himself in a club in town with a drink in hand. He already had his eye on a girl and she too had an eye on him; he knew how the night would end. He downed his drink and made his way over to her. After a night full of drinking and dancing Cal stumbled through the door hand in hand with the girl from the club. He shut the door and pushed her up against it as he pressed his lips against hers. She pulled his leather jacket off as they kissed and threw it to the ground. He pulled off her denim jacket and did the same. They gave each other a look and Cal took hold of her hand and led her through to his bedroom where the make out session continued on his bed. She was straddling him as they kissed, he sat up and pulled off her top and admired the view, she did the same to him before they continued kissing. Just as he was about to unbutton his pants his door suddenly creaked open.

"I didn't know you had a girlfriend" Peter's voice spoke out of the darkness.

The girl screamed got off Cal and shot under the covers holding them up over her body.

"Peter!" Cal shouted, "what are you doing here?!" He snapped as he got out of bed and pushed him out of the room.

Peter looked up at him innocently, "Ethan said that we're staying again because-"

Cal cut him off, "well where is he?!" He demanded furiously.

Peter pointed to Ethan's bedroom; "He fell asleep-" Cal cut him off once more as he pushed Peter out of the way and stormed into his bedroom.

"What's going on?" Ethan asked obliviously as he stood up from the chair in his room he'd fallen asleep in. Maddie sat up in bed rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"What's going on?! Peter's just nearly walked in on me having sex!" Cal roared furiously, "what are they even doing here anyway?!" He shouted.

"We decided it would be best for them staying here" Ethan told him.

"What and you didn't think to tell me?!" Cal yelled.

"I've been calling you all night Caleb, you wouldn't pick up!" Ethan shouted back.

"Cal I'm going to go, I feel like I've walked straight into a domestic" the girl he brought home hurried out of his room now fully clothed.

"Emma wait!" Cal shouted after her.

"My name's Anna!" She shouted back.

Ethan and Maddie exchanged awkward glances as they rushed out the room to follow the drama.

"That's what I meant!" Cal told her as he grabbed her hand, "look please don't go" he told her.

"Is this your girlfriend?" Maddie asked, causing Cal to sigh angrily, "you're really pretty" Maddie added with a smile.

"Maddie just shut up! No she's not my girlfriend" Cal snapped.

"Caleb!" Ethan roared.

"There's no need to talk to her like that Cal!" Anna told him, "thank you princess you're pretty too" she smiled at Maddie, "you didn't say you had kids" she spoke lowering her voice.

"I don't, they're my half siblings, I didn't know they would be here Anna, look let's just forget about this lets go back to bed" Cal pleaded.

"What so they don't live with you?" She asked.

"No" Cal told her, "We've been looking after them because their Dad's dying that's it" he added with a shrug.

"What?" Maddie whimpered, "I knew he was dying why wouldn't you just tell me?!" She spoke as tears escaped her eyes, she hurried back to Ethan's room and Peter followed her.

Ethan looked up at Cal disgusted at his behaviour, he shook his head and took a step toward him, "he's your dad too Caleb, remember that" he spoke furiously, "those kids need us, they don't need you coming in drunk with some random girl, no offence" he added as he looked at her, "Anna was it?" He asked.

"Yeah that's right" she nodded in reply.

"You can do much better than my brother, his head isn't in the right place at the moment" Ethan told her sincerely.

She nodded and head for the door.

"Are you being serious?!" Cal shouted as he squared up to Ethan.

"Your family or some random girl Caleb, you choose." Ethan spoke firmly.

Cal shot a snarl at him and spun around to chase after Anna.

"It's nice to see where your priorities lie!" Ethan shouted after his brother before he made his way to his room to check on Maddie and Peter.

Maddie sat hugging her knees as she cried into them; Peter sat next to her watching her awkwardly.

"Maddie?" Ethan spoke softly as he slowly made his way in.

"She's a bit upset" Peter told him innocently.

"I know buddy" Ethan smiled sadly as he sat down beside them.

"Is Daddy really going to die?" Peter asked him.

"Cal didn't mean to say that Peter, he's drunk" Ethan told him.

"He is going to die though, Cal was telling the truth" Maddie told her little brother.

"What?" He whimpered.

"We all die eventually" Ethan spoke awkwardly, "Peter don't you cry too, your Daddy is very strong just remember that" he told him and Peter nodded.

"Where's Cal now?" He asked.

"Probably chasing that Anna somewhere I'll guarantee we won't see him again tonight, see the thing about Cal is that he's selfish, he doesn't care about anybody else but himself and family means absolutely nothing to him" Ethan told the two.

"How much do you want to bet he won't be back tonight?" Peter asked.

Ethan thought for a minute, "£50" he told him as he put his arm around Maddie who still cried.

"Well you owe me £50 then" Peter grinned as he ran to the doorway where Cal stood looking ashamed; he wrapped his arms tightly around Cal's torso.

"I chose family" Cal told Ethan who smiled at him.

Cal kneeled down before Peter; "I'm sorry I shouted at you matey" he spoke sincerely.

"It's okay I forgive you, you did save my life today" Peter replied with a smirk as he hugged him again, "you stink of larger" he told him.

"Oh thanks" Cal replied sarcastically, "Maddie" Cal sighed as he made his way over to her. He kneeled down before her and took hold of her hand, "I'm so sorry for everything I said, I really am" he spoke softly.

Maddie just threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. He placed her back onto the bed and sat down beside her and Peter, "I think it's time we told you both what's really going on with your Dad" Cal spoke as he glanced at Ethan who gave him a small nod; they deserved to know.

"He's been moved to a new ward called the palliative care ward..." he told them, both of them looked at him confused, "Which means they care for people who are close to the end of their life" He explained, "They basically make sure he's comfortable and not in any pain" he added as he watched tears welled up in Maddie's eyes once more, Peter just watched on confused; he wasn't really good at expressing his emotions.

"But they look after him there, he's in the best place" Ethan told them, he too had tears building in his eyes as he spoke.

"Will he die soon?" Maddie asked and Ethan nodded slowly as a tear escaped his eye.

For the first time ever Cal actually found himself dreading the death of his father, purely down to how heartbroken it would leave his three siblings. He watched Peter carefully; he was trying to imagine what could be running through his mind...

Peter looked up at Cal for a moment as he continued to think, "So will he go to heaven to be with my Mummy?" he asked innocently.

This instantly triggered Cal to breakdown; he was a mess, "Oh Peter" He sighed as he hugged him tight, his tears trickled down his face and into his brother's brown hair, "He'll be with your mummy don't worry, and he'll be with our mummy too" he spoke as he looked at Ethan who was now crying even more seeing his older brother's shell had finally cracked, "And they'll always be looking down on us no matter what" Cal sniffed.

"Why is everyone crying?" Peter asked confused as Cal hugged him tightly.

"You'll understand one day Peter" Ethan smiled sadly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter, big surprise for Ethan and Cal to come. I hope you enjoy, please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter nine

Cal was the first to wake the next day. He was dealing with a major hangover from last night's adventures. He hoped making something greasy and having two paracetamol for breakfast would help. He Ethan and the kids spent the night watching movies on the TV until eventually they all fell asleep on the couch early hours of the morning, including Peter surprisingly. It was Ethan's suggestion, he hoped it would help take the kid's minds off the new information that their father may die very soon. Cal was in the kitchen cooking breakfast for everyone when he looked over at his three siblings passed out on the couch. Peter was lounging across the couch though he didn't take up much of it due to how small he was, Maddie was curled up at the other end of the couch and Ethan was sat in the middle of the two slumped down. There was a sudden beeping sound that caught Cal's attention; he looked back over into the living room to find it had woken Ethan up.

"What's that?" He mumbled half asleep.

"It's coming from over by you" Cal told him.

Ethan examined around him before he discovered it was the alarm on Maddie's watch. He quickly pressed a button on it and the beeping stopped before it woke either of the kids. Maddie stirred slightly but Ethan placed the blanket over her and tucked it in and she quickly fell back asleep again.

"It must be her alarm for school" Ethan whispered as he walked into the kitchen.

"Isn't she going in today?" Cal asked confused as to why he'd left her sleeping.

Ethan shook his head, "It's a teacher training day or something, they have the day off" he explained with a yawn, "which is good though because I want them to spend as much time with Dad as they came before..." He trailed off.

Cal nodded understandingly, "I like having them around...even though they're half _him_ " Cal admitted.

"Well I'm half him too and you don't hate me" Ethan stated.

"Yeah but you're also half mum, that makes up for it" Cal told him causing Ethan to smile.

"I like having them around too" Ethan spoke looking over at the sleeping children, "who knows how long they'll be staying" he added.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking too?" Cal asked.

Ethan nodded, "they're going to need someone to look after them once Dad's gone" he sighed, "but it's a huge thing, we won't just be minding them for a few days, it'll be forever, or, well, until they turn 18 at least" he stated.

"I know..." Cal agreed.

"It's something that needs a lot of thought anyway, I'm just glad we're both on the right page" Ethan smiled, "Peter's really taken to you hasn't he?" He asked as he looked back at Cal who nodded.

"I'm starting him on his medication today" he announced.

Ethan looked at him warily, "okay..." He nodded, "and how do you feel about that?" He asked.

"Apprehensive" Cal spoke tilting his head.

Ethan nodded and looked over at Peter, "I'm sure he'll be fine" he told him as reassuringly as he could, "what's for breakfast?" He asked changing the subject.

"Bacon sandwiches" Cal told him.

"Great" Ethan smiled as he watched him cook.

"Not looking forward to spending my day off in hospital" Cal admitted.

"Yeah me either" Ethan replied with a sigh, "but this might be the last day we have with dad and so..." He trailed off. He watched as Cal rolled his eyes, "Caleb, if I gave you a choice, would you choose to not be there today?" Ethan asked warily.

"Definitely" Cal replied easily, "and I wouldn't go to his funeral either" he added.

"How can you be so heartless Caleb?" Ethan asked baffled.

"Ethan I still feel the same way towards him as I always have, if you asked me that question when I was 18 I'd still reply the same way" Cal shrugged.

"Yeah but you'd think by now you would've grew up a bit and see that family comes before egos" Ethan spoke sternly as he left to get ready.

An hour later and Maddie was awake. She sat eating her breakfast at the table; Ethan sat opposite her whilst Cal leaned back against the counter and joined in on the conversation from behind Ethan. She didn't seem herself today, which meant Ethan's suggestion of a movie night to divert her mind from worries didn't really go to plan.

"Are you excited to see Dad today Maddie?" Ethan asked, she just nodded slowly as she looked at her plate of food.

"Not hungry?" Cal asked.

"No, I am" she told him as she took a bite out of her sandwich sheepishly.

"Did you have another bad dream Maddie?" Ethan asked lowering his voice.

She shook her head.

"Then what's wrong?" Ethan asked concerned, she just shrugged.

"Cheer up Maddie, it's a special day today" Cal told her causing her face to suddenly light up.

"Why?" She gasped excitedly.

"Because me and Ethan are off at the same time, which happens once every blue moon" Cal grinned.

Maddie nodded and looked down disappointedly; Ethan shook his head at him.

"That was an anti-climax" He told his older brother as he put his arm around their younger sister, "The fact we're both off means we can do whatever you want today Madison" Ethan explained with a smile.

She nodded slowly, "I just want to spend it with Daddy; he cares" She mumbled.

"What?" Ethan asked confused, " _We_ care Maddie" He told her reassuringly.

"No you don't! If you cared you'd know!" She shouted as she ran off to Ethan's bedroom.

"Maddie?" Ethan called after her, "Know what?" He asked turning to Cal who shrugged.

"She's allowed to be moody, her last remaining parent is about to die" Cal replied bluntly.

"I'm worried about her" Ethan sighed.

"I'm more worried about Peter, he can't express his emotions, this all must be so hard for him" Cal told him as he looked over at the sleeping youngster.

"He's going to be a pain to wake up again though no doubt" Ethan stated with a smirk.

Cal rolled his eyes and made his way over to him, he kneeled down in front of the couch where Peter laid, "Peter..." He called as he shook him gently, the boy didn't stir, "Peter come on buddy" he called louder as he sat him up, Peter opened his eyes and looked at him tiredly, "you're starting your medicine today remember?" Cal smiled at the boy whose face lit up.

"You're going to make me better!" Peter gasped as he threw his arms around Cal causing him to stumble backwards with the force of the boy hitting into him.

Cal laughed as he held the boy, "that's not guaranteed Peter, remember?" He smiled as he sat him on the floor beside him.

"Yeah but at least you're trying!" He replied as he hugged him once more, "are we having a sleepover at yours again tonight?" Peter asked him.

"Probably yes" Cal told him.

"Yay! I can't wait, I love it here" Peter smiled.

"Well I'm glad" Cal smiled as he ruffled Peter's hair, "Come on buddy let's get you some breakfast eh?" He spoke as he led him to the kitchen.

Ethan had a huge grin on his face as he watched them interact with each other so happily...it was nice to see both of them happy for a change. Maddie made her way into the kitchen and sighed at her little brother.

"Why are you so happy Peter? Daddy's probably going to die today" Maddie told him as she folded her arms.

"Maddie!" Ethan warned carefully.

"What?" She shrugged.

Peter looked toward the ground sadly.

"Are you okay Peter?" Ethan asked.

Peter nodded but he kept his eyes to the ground, "what will happen when Daddy dies, where we will go?" He asked as he looked up at Ethan with tears in his eyes.

"We'll get taken away by some stuck up woman who doesn't even care about kids and we'll be put in a home for other kids with no mummy's and daddy's and wait for someone to take us home but no one will because they won't like you or me so we'll get split up and we'll never see each other again" Maddie told him.

"But...why won't they like me?" Peter whimpered.

"Madison stop this right now!" Ethan spoke sternly.

"Because you're naughty Peter, no one likes a naughty kid" she told him bluntly.

"But I try to not be naughty, but it's hard, if Cal gives me medicine he can make me better and then people will like me and they'll take me home with them" Peter shouted up to her.

"No one wants a kid who's reliant on medicine for the rest of its life either" Maddie shrugged.

"You're wrong!" Peter whimpered.

"I'm not, I'm smart Peter, much smarter than you are, I know how it all works" Maddie told him.

"That's enough!" Cal snapped and Peter ran through to Cal's room in floods of tears. Cal shook his head at her and followed him through.

"What the hell was that?" Ethan snapped at her.

She just shrugged.

"You think you know how it all works but you don't, you're a nine year old kid Maddie. Act like it. There's no way me and Cal would allow that scenario you've thought up to happen okay?" Ethan told her reassuringly.

"Promise?" she asked sheepishly.

"I promise" He smiled, "Come on let's get ready to go and see dad eh?" he led her away to get ready.

Cal sat at the table resting his head into his hand waiting for Ethan and Maddie to get ready, he found himself dozing off as his hangover was hitting him hard.

Peter toddled his way into the kitchen with two pieces of paper in his hands. He stood up on his tiptoes to see over the table where Cal had fallen asleep. He robbed some bacon from Cal's plate and tapped Cal causing him to wake up.

"What's up?" Cal yawned as he looked down at him.

"Have you got a hangover?" Peter asked knowingly.

"No, I'm just tired" Cal lied in reply.

Peter nodded and looked down at one of the pieces of paper in his hands.

"What's that?" Cal asked.

Peter handed it to him, "I made it for you in the staffroom yesterday" he told him sheepishly.

Cal took hold of the paper that was filled with different coloured scribbles on it, he turned it around to see if he could make something out of it but Peter turned it back around.

"It's me and you" he pointed to two big collections of scribbles and Cal could suddenly make it out. He'd drew him and Peter holding hands, by his foot was a football and in the background was a load of trees. Although he could barely make it out and he had purple hair and a red body, this picture meant the world to him, the fact this boy who finds it hard to even sit still for five seconds had sat himself down and made this for him...he'd never loved a drawing so much. On the top he'd written "too Cal and Efan luv from Peter" messily in blue crayon, it warmed Cal's heart to see, he must have spoke the words phonetically and written them down. For a boy he gets sent home from school in a daily basis because they can't deal with his ADHD, this was amazing.

"Are we in the park?" Cal asked.

"Yeah! We're playing football!" Peter spoke excitedly at the fact Cal could make it out.

"Where's Ethan?" Cal asked confused, the picture was addressed to him too.

Peter pointed to another section of scribbles in the picture, "In the back with Maddie, they're sitting on a bench reading a book because they're boring" he teased causing Cal to smile.

"I love it matey, thank you" Cal grinned as he hugged him, "shall we put it on the fridge?" He suggested.

Peter gasped excitedly, "yeah! Then everyone can see it!" he shouted.

Cal put it up on the fridge proudly for everyone to see.

As Ethan walked into the kitchen he spotted the drawing straight away, "what's this?" He asked.

"Peter made it for us" Cal told him.

"Oh, wow" Ethan replied awkwardly, he didn't know what to say, "it's very abstract" he told the boy who looked at him confused; "I love Cal's purple hair" he smiled.

"What's on the other paper?" Cal asked seeing he had another piece in his hands.

"I made it for Maddie, I want to give it to her later as a surprise" Peter told them as he put the picture in his pocket.

Maddie strolled out of the bathroom ready to leave.

"Right come on then, let's make a move" Ethan announced as he made his way to the door. Cal stayed back and zipped up Peter's Parker.

Ethan pulled the door open and was taken aback in shock when there was a man stood at the opposite side of it.

"Dad?!" Ethan spat out in horror, "what are you doing here? You should be in hospital" he spoke lowering his voice so the kids wouldn't hear.

"I've been discharged" his father replied as Cal popped his head around the door to see what was going on.

"Discharged from the palliative care ward?" Cal asked confused.

"Yep" George replied, "this morning my OBs were fine, I wasn't in any pain, it was like a miracle" he spoke looking towards Cal who gave him daggers, "you both look like you've seen a ghost it's only me boys, nothing to be scared of" he smiled.

"We have seen a ghost practically, you, you were dying, I was sure we'd have to bring the kids to say goodbye to you today" Ethan spoke amazed.

"Well, I've still got cancer it's not that much of a miracle, and it _has_ spread to the majority of my body but here I am now, fit as a fiddle" George shrugged but Ethan and Cal still watched on in disbelief.

"How do you know where we live?" Cal asked confused.

"Oh I've been here plenty of times when having a catch-up with Ethan, you'd be at work or out drinking, one time you were even asleep on the couch and was none the wiser I was sat in the kitchen having some coffee out of your mug" George spoke mischievously.

Cal's face reddened, "What?!" he snapped at Ethan who looked up at him sheepishly.

"I think we've got more important things to worry about Caleb!" Ethan told him pointing toward their father, "How did you get here?" Ethan asked.

"I drove" George replied.

"You drove!" Ethan spat out baffled, "this time two days ago I thought I'd lost you and know here you are driving around willy nilly" Ethan shook his head.

"Yeah, I heard all about that little accident. It seems someone thought putting a DNR bracelet on my wrist would get rid of me...boy was you wrong" their father smiled at Cal who looked away awkwardly, "they wanted to call you to pick me up from the hospital this morning but I wanted to see the disappointed look on our Caleb's face when he saw my miraculous recovery" he spoke mischievously, "oh and because I knew you wouldn't believe me I brought along my discharge form and got the doctor to write down her contact number so you could call her and hear it from the horse's mouth" he held out a piece of paper which Ethan snatched from his hands.

"Yep I will do thank you" he spoke sternly and head back into the apartment. Their father took a step forward to follow him but Cal stood in his way.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I'm here to pick up my kids" his father replied.

"You don't deserve those kids" Cal told him.

"Oh well there's nothing you can do about that can you?" He grinned.

"They were just getting settled, even Peter-" his father cut him off.

"You don't know them, you've known of their existence for four days Caleb. You're nothing but a stranger to them, but thanks for looking after them it saved me paying a babysitter at least" His father told him with a smug look on his face.

"I don't care what you say, we've bonded. And I can guarantee that Peter has opened more to me than he ever has you, he's starting his medication today and-" his father cut him off once again.

"Do you honestly think I'd put him on any medication Caleb? I'd rather let him suffer than have him turn out like you" George told him.

"He actually needs it, he actually has ADHD" Cal told him furiously.

"And I don't care, he can deal with it" his father shrugged.

Cal shook his head angrily, "See this is why you're not cut out to be a father, you always put yourself first no matter what, can't you see how much he needs this medication? He cries every night wishing he can be like all the other kids who are 'normal'" Cal told him quoting the words Peter spoke to him, "it's wrecking his life" he added.

But his father just brushed past him and walked inside where Maddie and Peter's faces lit up, "Daddy!" The pair of them screamed and ran towards him for a hug.

"Woah okay take it easy now you two" their father told them as he stumbled back with the force of the two children hitting into him, "Happy Birthday Madison" He kissed her head and handed her a birthday card.

"This is the best present ever, I don't need a card!" Maddie grinned as she dropped the card and threw her arms around her father once more.

"Happy birthday Maddie!" Peter shouted and pulled out the picture he had drew for her.

"It's your birthday?" Cal asked confused as he shot an awkward look over to Ethan; they both felt awful for not knowing.

"Yeah" she told them uninterestingly.

"Maddie we're so sorry, we'll make it up to you-" Ethan promised as he covered the phone but she just cut him off ignoring him completely.

"Are you better?" she asked her father full of hope.

"For now yes" their father replied.

"But Cal and Ethan said you're dying" Maddie told him.

"Well Cal and Ethan were obviously lying weren't they?" Her father spoke as he kissed her hair.

"What?" Maddie asked shocked as she looked at her older brothers.

" _He's_ lying Maddie, we would never lie to you" Cal told her reassuringly.

"But Daddy doesn't lie" Maddie told him, it was like he'd brainwashed the kids into believing he's actually a good person.

"Well that's a lie in itself" Cal scoffed as he looked over at Ethan who was now on the phone to the hospital.

Ethan looked at Cal as he spoke on the phone, "Right, okay...yes, thank you, goodbye" he put the phone down and everyone waited for him to speak.

"Well?" Their father asked.

"He's telling the truth, he was discharged this morning" Ethan spoke bewildered.

"See, daddy doesn't lie!" Maddie shouted at Cal as she hugged her father once more.

"Come on, let's get you two home, we'll have a brilliant day for your birthday Madison, I promise" their father spoke to Maddie and Peter as he made his way to the door hand in hand with Maddie. They stopped when they noticed Peter wasn't with them, "come on son let's not dawdle yeah?" George called looking back at him.

"I don't want to go home" he announced, "I want to stay here with Cal and Ethan" he mumbled as he took hold of Cal's hand.

"Don't be so ridiculous boy, get here!" His father shouted angrily, Peter half-hid behind Cal sheepishly.

"Cal is giving me medicine to make me better today" Peter told him.

"You don't need that stuff Peter, that's just another lie he's told you" His father replied.

"He's not lying! Cal is a nice person; he should be in your stories like Ethan is!" Peter shouted.

"Ah well I'm sure I can fit him in somewhere, stories are much better with evil characters in them aren't they?" His father smiled.

"Cal isn't evil! He's my best friend!" Peter shouted as he clung to Cal's arm.

"Stop being so stupid Peter, they don't care about you, they didn't even know it was Maddie's 10th birthday...get here now! We're going home!" His father yelled.

"No!" Peter cried.

"Get here!" His father grabbed him by his arm and dragged him from Cal.

"There's no need for that!" Ethan shouted as he watched his father physically drag the boy out of the apartment.

"Get off him!" Cal roared protectively as he watched.

"We're going home." He spoke sternly as he made his way outside holding hands with Maddie and Peter who still cried.

Cal kneeled down before Peter and wiped the tears off his cheeks, "hey buddy don't cry" he whispered.

"Will I see you again?" He whimpered.

"Of course you will, I'm sure we can sort something out with dad can't we?" Ethan spoke looking at his father.

He gave him daggers and then looked down at Peter and Cal; "yeah why not" he shrugged, "say goodbye kids" he told them.

"Bye Ethan bye Cal" Maddie rolled her eyes at them.

"Maddie we're sorry again-" Ethan tried to apologise for not knowing her birthday but she just turned her head away.

"Goodbye" Peter sniffed as he rubbed his eyes.

Their father dragged the kids down the hall and they disappeared.

"I get it now" Ethan told Cal admittedly.

"I told you so" Cal shrugged and walked back into the apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter, I really hope you enjoy. Please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter ten

"I can't believe he just swooped in and took them away like that" Ethan huffed as he wondered around the kitchen looking in the cupboards.

"I know" Cal replied as he sat at the table thinking back over everything.

"And the fact he's back to normal just like that, have you ever heard of a person being discharged from a palliative care ward? Because I haven't!" Ethan spoke out amazed.

"I know, trust it to be him" Cal shook his head.

"I feel like something bad is going to happen, I've got a feeling in the pit of my stomach and it's usually right" Ethan told him as he continued to look through the cupboards, he pulled out a whisk and a bowl.

"Should we have stopped him?" Cal asked in dread.

"We couldn't have stopped him" Ethan shrugged.

"I just keep thinking about Peter's little face" Cal sighed as he looked up at Ethan confused, "what are you looking for?" he asked.

"Eggs" Ethan told him as he continued to look.

"They're in the fridge" Cal told him.

"Oh yeah" Ethan replied as he went to the fridge and pulled out two eggs.

"Why?" Cal asked confused.

"Because we forgot Maddie's birthday, I'll make her a cake and take it round later, I don't want her hating me- us" He corrected himself as he got to work.

"You're baking a cake?" Cal asked with a smirk.

"Got any better ideas?" Ethan asked.

"Get her a card and throw a twenty pound note in there, sorted" Cal shrugged.

"Well...we can do that too" Ethan replied, Cal looked at him confused, "Those kids deserve to be made a fuss of, I doubt she'll have a good day today, her own dad only got her a card...remember when we were little and we'd come down to a living room overflowing with presents on our birthdays?" Ethan smiled as he reminisced.

"Yeah and it was all mum" Cal told him bluntly.

"Well I know that now" Ethan replied, "She'd always buy a present for the kid whose birthday it wasn't too so they didn't feel left out" He smiled and Cal did too, "she was amazing" Ethan announced sadly, Cal nodded in agreement.

"You know, a part of me is jealous of little Peter, his Dad just accepts him, he lets him wear football kits, God remember the fuss he'd make if I ever wore a football kit?!" Cal shook his head, "Why didn't he let me be a kid?" he mumbled.

"Well you turned out pretty well so who cares" Ethan told him.

"Did I?" Cal muttered to himself.

Suddenly Ethan's phone started to ring, he pulled it out and looked at the caller ID, "It's Dad" He stated confused.

"Hello?" He answered it.

"Ethan!" Maddie's voice called desperately down the phone.

"Maddie, what's wrong?" Ethan spoke shooting a concerned glance at Cal who stood up and watched him warily.

"It's Daddy, he's on the floor and he won't wake up" She cried, "I don't know what to do I think he's dead" she continued.

"Right Maddie you need to put the phone down and call an ambulance right away okay? We're on our way" Ethan told her determinately as he grabbed the car keys and he and Cal hurried out of the apartment.

"Ethan I'm scared" she whimpered.

"We'll be there soon okay? Just try and stay calm for me" Ethan told her and she put the phone down.

They'll pulled up outside their father's house, Ethan got out before his brother had even stopped the car. The first thing they noticed was that they'd beat the ambulance. "I thought he would've moved out of this place by now" Cal spoke amazed to find out their father still lived in their childhood home.

"Maddie!" Ethan shouted as he frantically banged on the front door, he and Cal looked through the window; they could make out their father's figure lying on the floor.

"Cal..." Ethan spoke in dread.

Maddie opened the door and the pair of them rushed inside, Ethan kneeled down beside his father and examined him. Cal looked around the living room amazed, everything was just how he remembered, all his childhood memories flashed through his brain in seconds. He looked over to the mantelpiece to find there was a picture of him and Ethan when they were children, he picked it up and wiped the dust off it; it obviously hadn't been looked at in years. He smiled sadly as he thought back. He was soon snapped out of his thoughts when Maddie tapped him on the back.

"I'm scared Cal" She whimpered.

"Hey, don't be alright?" Cal a smiled sympathetically as he placed the photo frame back down and focused on comforting Maddie, "What happened?" he asked her.

"I don't know, I was upstairs and then I heard a bang and came down and he was just lying there" Maddie explained as she sobbed.

"I bet this wasn't how you planned your birthday going eh?" Cal asked as he hugged her.

Maddie shook her head, "I'd rather have spent it with you not knowing and Daddy still being in hospital" She cried, "I'm sorry for being so horrible to you Ethan" She called over but he was too busy trying to find a pulse on their father.

"It's okay" Cal reassured her as he watched Ethan seeing if he needed any help.

"Dad can you hear me?" Ethan shouted, "Its Ethan Dad, if you can hear me squeeze my hand" He placed his hand in his father's limp hand but he shook his head and shot a glance at Cal.

"Is he dead?" Maddie cried, "He's dead isn't he!" she panicked as she clung onto Cal.

"Maddie sweetie, you need to calm down or you'll have a panic attack" Cal told her calmly as he kneeled down before her, "deep breaths okay?" He smiled reassuringly.

"Um, Cal why don't you and Maddie wait outside for the ambulance?" Ethan suggested as he readied himself to start chest compressions.

"No! I'm staying here, is he dead?" Maddie asked desperately.

The pressure was getting to Ethan, "Ugh I can't find a pulse!" he spat out frantically as he felt his father's neck for a pulse once more before he began any CPR, he looked up at Cal helplessly and the older man noticed tears building in his eyes, Ethan was getting too worked up. Seeing Ethan panicking caused Maddie to panic even more.

"Let me have a look eh?" Cal suggested as he kneeled down beside their lifeless father and Ethan. Ethan nodded and shakily stood himself up. Cal placed two fingers on his father's neck, just below his jaw line and closed his eyes to focus, "...he's got a pulse but it's _very_ weak" He told Ethan and Maddie who let out a sigh of relief.

"Paramedics!" Iain's voice called from the door as they made their way in, "Ethan, Cal?" he spoke confused.

"It's our Dad" Ethan explained everything to Iain and Jez as Cal stood up and looked at Maddie who watched everything hauntingly.

Suddenly realisation over powered Cal; someone was missing, "Maddie, where's Peter?" He asked.

"He ran away, we were going to go bowling for my birthday but he said he wanted to be with you and Ethan so he ran away. He's been gone for ages, all the neighbours are out looking for him, Daddy called the police but they won't do anything until he's been missing for a day" Maddie told him.

"What?!" Cal spat out, "He's out there alone?" He asked and Maddie nodded.

"Who's out where alone?" Ethan asked as he stepped back and allowed Iain and Jez to do their jobs.

"Peter's gone" Cal told him desperately.

"What?" Ethan snapped, "how long has he been gone Maddie?" He asked her.

"Like two hours" Maddie told him.

"Has he ever done this before?" Ethan asked.

"Nope, never. He's not allowed out on his own" she replied, "He wanted to go back to your apartment" she told them.

"Well if he were heading there two hours ago surely he would've made it by now?" Ethan spoke as he thought.

"Maybe he got lost" Maddie suggested.

Cal ran his hands through his hair as he shook his head, "we have to find him" he announced determinately.

"Cal..." Ethan began awkwardly, "I'm going to stay here with dad" he told him.

"Me too" Maddie took hold of Ethan's hand.

"You've got to be kidding me?! Our five year old brother has gone missing and you're staying here with him?!" Cal snapped.

"I don't want him to wake up alone..." Ethan told him sheepishly.

"Alone?" Cal scoffed; "he deserves to be alone" he spoke through gritted teeth.

"That's not true Caleb..." Ethan sighed.

"This little boy thinks nobody likes or cares about him are you really going to prove him right by not helping look for him?" Cal shouted, "Maddie, why don't you come with me eh? Don't you care about Peter?" He spoke more calmly trying to persuade her.

"Daddy needs me" she replied.

"Peter needs you! The more people looking for him the better chance we'll have of finding him! He could be lying dead in a gutter somewhere by now" Cal shouted.

"Caleb!" Ethan snapped as he hugged Maddie, "pay no attention to him Maddie" he told her as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Fine I'll find him on my own, I've got a feeling I know where he might be anyway, I'll tell him his family don't give two damns about him while I'm at it" Cal spoke firmly as he forced out a smile and rushed out.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter, will Cal find Peter? We find out more about Cal's past in this chapter and why he hates his father so much, but time is running short...will they manage to sort things out in time? Please let me know your thoughts as always, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter eleven

Cal hurried out of the house and jumped in his car. He pulled out the picture Peter had drawn for him yesterday and examined it; this was the only place he could imagine the boy going. In the drawing they were in the park, playing football by the cafe...that was all Cal was really able to make out in the five year olds scribbling. He set off. He was way over the speed limit but he didn't really care, the only thing he had on his mind was finding Peter and finding Peter soon. He pulled up in the car park to the park in Peter's drawing and began his search. This park, as many are, was huge, it'd take Cal way over two hours to search around it alone, if only Ethan had tagged along this would be a lot easier, but no, he only cares about their dying father Cal thought angrily to himself as he hurried around the park.

He spotted a family heading towards the exit, "Excuse me!" He called as he hurried over to them, "Have you seen a small boy? About this big" He gestured to just below his hip, "He's got brown hair and blue eyes, he's got a red football kit on and-" the lady cut him off.

"No sorry, when did you last see him?" She asked.

"About five hours ago" Cal shrugged.

The lady shot a concerned glance at her husband, "And you lost him in the park?" She asked.

"No, no, he ran away from home like two hours ago this is the only place I can think he'd run to" Cal explained.

"You're best talking to the park wardens..." She turned to find one stood monitoring the car park, "Excuse me this man needs help!" she called over to him.

Cal sighed deeply; he didn't want all this fuss he just wanted to find Peter.

"What's the problem?" The warden asked.

"Nothing" Cal told him as he looked around frantically in search of Peter.

"This man has lost his son" the lady explained.

"What? No he's not my son he's my brother" Cal informed them all, "Look I'd rather just look for him, standing here isn't helping-" he warden cut him off.

"What does he look like?" He asked the lady.

"He's got a red football kit on, he's got brown hair and blue eyes and he's about this big" she described as the warden wrote down her description.

"Right I'll get a few people together and we'll start a search" The warden decided.

"He's not good with new people, he's been out here alone for over two hours, he's probably petrified and he's no good at expressing his feelings, I was asking if you'd seen him I didn't want to start a search party" Cal shook his head angrily, "Look, I don't need your help there's already loads out looking for him, can you just point me in the direction of the cafe please?" Cal spat out.

"This isn't really the best time to stop and have a coffee, surely?" The lady spoke surprised.

"Forget it!" Cal snapped and ran off, "idiots" he muttered to himself.

He ran through the park frantically shouting his brother's name. As each minute past his hope in finding him slipped away. He saw a sign for the cafe and hurried to it, he slowed down as he reached it; he was so out of breath he felt like he'd run a marathon and there was no sign of Peter. Cal sighed deeply and turned to head back to his car to continue his search driving but just as he did so he heard the sound of a football being kicked. It seemed a long shot it would be Peter but it was worth a look right? He followed the noise to the side of the cafe and there he was, kicking a ball up against the wall of the park cafe. Cal had never felt so relieved in his life. He picked up the speed once more and hurried over to him. As he reached him a lady stormed out of the cafe.

"Will you stop with that bleeding ball?! People are trying to eat in peace in here!" She shouted at Peter.

"Sorry" Peter replied awkwardly and picked up his football.

"Where's your mum?" She snapped.

"She's dead" Peter told her.

"Oh..." She spoke surprised, "well who are you with? You're too young to be here alone!" She shouted.

"Don't talk to him like that, alright?! He's just a kid trying to have some fun" Cal snapped at the woman making Peter aware of his presence, "he's with me" he told her. The woman just shook her head and made her way back inside.

"Cal!" Peter ran to hug him; the grin on his face was huge.

Cal kneeled down before him and held him by his shoulders, "Peter don't you ever run away again, do you understand me? Never again! Something terrible might have happened you should never go out alone! Everyone's out looking for you, you know that right? Your dad's even called the police! The fuss you've caused!" he shouted angrily as tears built in his eyes.

"I'm really sorry Cal" he mumbled as he too had tears building in his eyes.

"Oh come here" Cal sighed as he hugged him once more.

"How did you know where to find me?" Peter asked as he pulled away from him.

"You drew us in the park in your picture, educated guess" Cal shrugged.

"I tried to go back to your apartment but I didn't know the way" Peter explained sheepishly.

"How did you even get here Peter, its miles away from your house?" Cal asked.

"I got a bus" Peter told him.

"A bus, who lets a five year old on a bus alone?!" Cal snapped.

"...I sneaked on with a family, they just counted me as one of their kids" Peter explained.

"Why did you run away Peter?" Cal sighed.

"I don't like being with Daddy" he told him.

Cal understood that feeling. He nodded in reply.

"Please Cal, don't leave me again" Peter whimpered.

"I won't okay? You're staying with me now, no matter what" Cal told him as he stood up and looked around.

"Thank you Cal" Peter took hold of his hand and smiled at him, "where's Ethan?" He asked.

"He should be at the hospital by now I think" Cal told him.

"I thought you were both off today?" Peter asked as Cal led him away. Peter skipped alongside Cal holding his hand tightly.

"No buddy he, he's gone to hospital with your dad" Cal told him carefully as he took a seat on a bench and helped the boy up beside him.

"Daddy's gone back to hospital?" He asked, "Why?"

"He's really poorly Peter, he should never have been let out of hospital today" Cal explained.

The boy thought for a moment before he spoke, "Is he going to die?" Peter asked innocently.

"Honestly?" Cal asked and the boy nodded, "I don't know matey" he told him admittedly as he put his arm around him. "Do you want to go see him?" Cal asked as he looked down at the boy who swung his legs back and forth from the bench.

"Not yet" Peter told him, "can I just stay with you for a little bit?" He asked.

Cal smiled at him, "of course you can"

"Did you used to live in my house?" Peter asked.

"I did yeah, it hasn't really changed much" Cal told him.

"We have bunk beds in our room" Peter told him excitedly.

"Me and Ethan used to have bunk beds when we were younger" Cal informed him, "Do you ever jump from the top bunks and land on your duvets on the floor?" He asked.

"All the time!" Peter grinned.

"Ah I wish I was a kid again" Cal sighed, "one time I pulled Ethan off the top bunk when he was asleep and he broke his arm" he told him as he thought back.

"Seriously?! That's so cool!" Peter replied.

"Don't be getting any ideas" Cal laughed as he ruffled his hair playfully, "are there stars still on the ceiling?" He asked.

"Yeah, they're like green plastic stickers, Dad says they used to glow but they don't any more" Peter told him.

"They used to glow when I was about your age" Cal explained, "They didn't last very long" he added.

"I always count them when I'm bored, there's-" Cal cut him off.

"37!" He and Cal spoke simultaneously as they laughed together.

Cal looked at the boy who swung his legs and tapped his hands, "look at that bird over there Cal!" Peter pointed to it. Cal just smiled at him sadly; it must be horrible having such a short attention span and not being able to sit still. Cal _was_ a fidgety child but if he tried hard enough he could put a stop to it but Peter couldn't, it was physically impossible, his brain just simply wouldn't allow it and that must be awful.

Peter looked up at Cal and was surprised to see him already looking his way.

"I think I'm ready to see Daddy now" he told him.

"Me too" Cal replied as he put his arm around him and kissed his hair.

They pulled up outside the ED and Cal looked over at Peter, "open the glove compartment there matey" Cal told him and he did. As he opened it a prescription bag fell out and landed on Peter's knee.

"What's that?" Peter asked as he examined it.

"Your medicine" Cal told him carefully.

Peter gasped excitedly, "Can I start it Cal? Please!" he practically begged.

Cal looked at him warily for a moment before he nodded, "But promise me matey if it makes you feel bad in any way you let me know okay and I'll sort it out. If you don't like it or have second thoughts you just let me know okay? I'll get you off it straight away" Cal set the rules.

"Okay" Peter replied.

"Promise me Peter" Cal spoke determinately, he didn't really want to start Peter on any medication in fear it would have the same effect on his as it did Cal but Peter needed it.

"I pinky promise" Peter smiled as he wrapped his little pinky around Cal's much bigger one and just like that Cal helped the boy take the first of his medication he could be on for the rest of his life...

They made their way through the ED doors hand in hand.

"Cal!" Charlie called as he spotted the two enter, "great, you found him" he smiled down at Peter.

"Yeah, nothing to worry about" Cal smiled.

"Your Dad is back in RESUS" Charlie informed him, Cal took a deep breath and started to walk but Charlie pulled him back, "it's not looking good" he whispered. Cal nodded.

They made their way in to find Dylan and Zoe fussing around him, Lofty stood aside waiting orders. Ethan and Maddie stood at the foot of his bed; Ethan held his head in one hand had an arm around Maddie who had her arms wrapped around his torso.

"Maddie?" Peter called quietly.

"Peter!" She ran towards him for a hug.

Ethan turned to look at Cal and it was obvious he'd been crying, he gave Cal a shake of his head and the older man made his way over sheepishly. Maddie stood holding Ethan, Peter stood holding Cal.

"Ethan?" Peter whispered.

Ethan sniffed and looked down at him, "yeah buddy?" He asked.

"Are you sad?" Peter asked him, he too must have noticed his tear stained cheeks.

"...a little bit yes" Ethan admitted.

"I'll draw you a picture to make you feel happy again" Peter told him innocently.

"I'd like that" Ethan smiled sadly as tears built in his eyes again.

"Guys can you give us some space?" Zoe asked, "Why don't you go to the relative's room?" She suggested.

Cal nodded and led the kids away but Ethan stayed put watching on sadly, Cal left the kids at the door and turned back for Ethan, "Eth..." Cal whispered, "Ethan we're in their way we've got to go" he told him.

"I want to stay here with him" Ethan replied mournfully, keeping his eyes on his father.

Cal looked around at the sympathetic glances their colleagues were giving his brother and then back to Ethan, "we can come back later, yeah? He suggested, "Ethan they need to do their job" he added when his brother didn't budge.

Ethan nodded slowly and finally allowed Cal to lead him out. They made their way to the staffroom where Robyn and Max had prepared a tea party for Maddie's birthday; she was thrilled. The party didn't last long though, everyone had to get back to work but she loved it nonetheless. She was now sat on the couch resting her head against Ethan's shoulder. Peter, for the first time in his life was sitting still; the medication had worked wonders so far.

"Tired?" Cal smirked at Maddie who could barely keep her eyes open. She nodded slowly in reply, "what about you matey?" He asked Peter.

"A bit" Peter replied the medication he was on would now let him have a good night's sleep but he was so excited about this fact he was too excited to sleep.

"How're you feeling?" Cal asked

"Amazing" Peter replied with a gleaming smile.

"I'm glad" Cal smiled at him; it was so wonderful to see him not agitated for once.

"I'm going to see how dad is" Ethan announced.

"No Ethan stay here, please!" Maddie whined as she held Ethan's arm tightly.

"I'll go and see how he's doing for you" Cal told them.

"Be nice Caleb" Ethan warned.

"I will" Cal rolled his eyes.

He made his way through to RESUS where his father lay; he looked awful. For a second Cal didn't even want to approach him, he looked that ill it was scary to whiteness.

"Caleb" his father spoke breathlessly.

Cal made his way over warily.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"I've come to check how you're doing" Cal replied as he looked him up and down.

"I've been better" George joked causing Cal to smile slightly.

"The house hasn't changed" Cal stated making conversation awkwardly.

"I could've moved out but, I didn't want to, too many memories" his father spoke gasping for air.

Cal pointed at his oxygen mask to tell him to put it on and he did, "there's a picture of me and Ethan on the mantelpiece" Cal spoke sheepishly.

"Of course there is" his father spoke through his oxygen mask, "I know you hate me Caleb but I don't hate you" he told him but Cal just scoffed at him. "Okay, you did get on my nerves a lot as a child but I wouldn't go as far as saying I hated you, I just wanted the best for you" he explained.

"By drugging me up" Cal shook his head.

"Yeah I know that was a bad decision but I don't regret it" George told him.

Cal frowned at him.

"Well I regret it because of how much it made you hate me now but, it made you focus on school work instead of football" George explained.

"I was just being a kid dad" Cal told him.

"I know buddy" George sighed, "and I'm sorry, I really am" he added.

"I started Peter on his medication" Cal informed him.

"That was big of you" His father replied surprised, "how is he?" He asked.

"He's fine, it hasn't knocked him out like it used to me, he's finally sitting still and he's happy" Cal told him.

"Well then looks like you made the right decision" his father smiled.

George looked at him as Cal looked down, George could see how troubled he was and how he was probably the cause of it.

"Caleb" George mumbled and Cal looked up, "tell me about you?" he asked. Cal looked at him confused, "how have you been?"

"...fine" Cal replied.

"It must've been hard losing your mother" George stated sympathetically.

Cal nodded, "it was my first day back at Holby I'd been working abroad for a while, I sat with her as she..." He trailed off, "Ethan hated me for it, he'd spent all this time looking after her and then I swooped in out of nowhere and was there as she died while he was at his first day of work" He told him.

"I still can't believe she's gone" George shook his head, "It mustn't have been easy failing a year of medical school too" he spoke looking up at Cal who sighed deeply.

"Of course Ethan would tell you that wouldn't he?" He rolled his eyes.

"He didn't" George told him, "It doesn't take a genius Caleb. You're at the same level as your brother who is two years younger than you" He stated, "too much partying and getting girls?" He asked knowingly.

"No actually" Cal snapped, "everyone just automatically thinks that so I leave them to it but if only they knew the truth..." He trailed off; his father looked at him awaiting his story. He sighed deeply and began, "It wasn't easy. Having to work alongside uni just so you can earn enough to pay some rent and sometimes get yourself a decent meal and still have a social life at the same time as that, it's not easy" He sighed, "I sometimes went up to three days without eating actual food, just crap I could just about afford from the local garage. Some days I'd run on about three hours sleep I'd have that much to do. I used to work in a cafe, I turned up for work five minutes late once because I overslept and they sacked me, then I got kicked out of my flat because I couldn't afford rent and it all went downhill so rapidly I couldn't even keep up, next thing I know I was living on the streets for a week or two, maybe longer I can't remember. I try to blank it all out. Do you know how horrible it is sleeping in doorways just trying to get through a night whilst having people spit on you and calling you scum, I mean they had no idea I was a trainee doctor, they had no idea that I could possibly save their lives one day...they just jumped to conclusions because I was homeless. Those were the hardest days of my life by far" Cal shook his head as he thought back.

"Caleb...I had no idea, why didn't you come home? We would've helped you" his father spoke carefully.

"I don't know" Cal shrugged, "I guess my ego was too big to come home with my tail between my legs" he told him.

"You'd rather sleep on the streets than ask for help from your own family?" His father asked sadly.

"Yeah, well, I didn't really leave you lot on the best of notes did I?" Cal replied.

"Does Ethan know about this?" His father asked.

"No!" Cal snapped suddenly, "Nobody knows" he added.

"How did you get off the streets?" His father asked.

"A professor from my uni saw me sleeping on a park bench one night and he pulled me up about it in class, he arranged for me to stay on campus for free for a while and got me a job in uni as a cleaner on the side of my lectures so I could earn some money..." Cal muttered the last part, "and I know, just when you think you couldn't get more disappointed in me, turns out I was cleaning toilets and collecting litter, poor you having such a disgrace of a son eh?" Cal spat out, "it was enough to get me back on track and I'm here today doing fine so yeah..." He trailed off.

"Disappointed? Caleb, I've never been more proud of anyone in my life" his father told him amazed, "you literally hit rock bottom Caleb but you kept on going, and it breaks my heart that you thought you couldn't ask for help from your own family but God Cal you're the strongest person I know." His father told him.

Cal watched him warily awaiting the punch line as his father continued.

"And you're right, I didn't have any part in you getting where you are today because you did it all on your own and I've never been so proud of anyone, I'm so proud to call you my son Caleb...Caleb Knight" he managed to say the last part, the word "Hardy" rolled off his tongue so easily after Cal's name.

"What about Ethan?" Cal scoffed.

"Ethan has had everything handed to him on a silver platter his entire life, he's always gotten everything he wanted and he is where he is today because he had no choice but you, you had plenty of reasons to give up, you had plenty of reasons to not even give it a go in the first place but you did Cal, and here you are now, saving people's lives, yeah okay you might have missed that guy's phneumothorax the other day but everyone has bad days...even me" he winked.

Cal had tears building in his eyes as he clung to his father's every word; this was all he'd ever wanted to hear.

"I'm sorry I was so hard on you and that I didn't allow you to a have a childhood, it still haunts me every day and I hate myself for it Cal. I just wanted the best for you and at the time I thought that would be getting into medical school and following my footsteps but over time I've come to realise that that's not true. The truth is, I'm going to die soon and my biggest fear is dying and not settling things with you. I love you Caleb, and I'd still love you just as much if you had become a footballer, no matter what I used to say" his father teased.

"I came home you know" Cal sniffed, "on Ethan's 18th birthday, I'd been sleeping rough and I'd just failed my first year of medical school and I was going to ask for help but I saw you three, you, mum and Ethan and you were all so happy, I didn't want to wreck anything" he admitted.

"Caleb we were always there for you, and I still am, as is Ethan, and I'm sure your mother is looking down at you too, she'd be so proud of you" his father smiled as Cal placed the oxygen mask back on his face. His father held his hand out for Cal to take hold of. He looked at it and slowly brought his hand towards it, he'd never felt so close to his father before, actually, thinking about it, he couldn't remember the last time he held his hand...had he _ever_ held his hand? Just as he was about to take hold of it the RESUS door burst open startling him, he put both hands in his pockets awkwardly.

"Cal..." Charlie called, "Peter's asking for you" he told him.

Cal wiped the tears from his eyes and looked over at Charlie; he then looked back at his father who gave him a nod. He smiled at him and left for the staffroom. He walked in to find Ethan and Maddie had fallen asleep on the couch. Peter tiredly made his way towards him dragging his feet with his arms open wide, Cal picked him up and held him on his hip.

"Tired are we?" Cal smiled as Peter buried his face into Cal's neck and closed his eyes.

This was the first time in his entire life that Peter had willingly fallen asleep; the medication was the right decision.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi everyone! Here's the next chapter, sorry for the delay. I hope you enjoy, please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

* * *

I'll always be a Knight – Chapter twelve

Ethan was awoken by a noise that startled him.

"Sorry" Charlie whispered as he made his way into the staffroom; the noise was him shutting the door.

"What time is it?" Ethan asked confused as he looked around to find Maddie, Peter and Cal had all fallen asleep on the staffroom couch.

"Half two" Charlie told him as he took a seat on the couch next to him.

"We should go" Ethan stated as he turned to wake Cal but Charlie stopped him.

"I think you'll want to stick around for a bit" Charlie told him, Ethan looked at him confused, "it's your Dad" he spoke carefully, "he's been moved to a side ward, I've been sat with him a while but..."

"It's not looking good" Ethan finished Charlie's sentence for him.

"I'm sorry" Charlie told him sadly.

"Right" Ethan nodded, "how bad is it looking?" He asked.

Charlie shook his head "I don't think he'll make it through the night" he stated.

Ethan took in a deep breath and looked to the ground, he didn't know what to do with himself...should he wake the kids or leave them sleeping? Should he wake Cal or would he just be annoyed at being woken because he's already made it pretty clear he doesn't care about their father...Should he go to see him alone? So much always running through his mind, "I don't know what to do Charlie" Ethan admitted as he looked up, the older man noticed tears fill up in the doctor's eyes.

"I think it's time to say goodbye Ethan" Charlie told him and Ethan nodded, "he's a good person your father, he's one of the best doctors I've ever known, very professional" he stated as Ethan listened intently, "reminds me of someone else I know" he added giving Ethan _a look_ to say it was him. Ethan gave him a smile, "he loves the bones of all his kids, even if Cal can't see that" he continued.

"I wish he could" Ethan mumbled.

"Wake the kids and take them to see their Dad, you can deal with Cal later" Charlie told him and Ethan did just that.

Their father looked awful, well, he looked great for his current condition - a dying man that was - he was asleep when they first went in but he soon woke up and actually had a lovely time with him, even though he was weak. Peter was finding the entire thing hard to understand, he _was_ only five years old, Maddie however understood everything as much, if not more than Ethan. All three of them were grateful to have this time with their father and Ethan had now finally accepted his father's death. It was something that's inevitable and he was just grateful for the time he'd had with him. They sat with him for hours.

"Who is the strongest person you know Ethan?" George asked, his voice was almost a whisper.

"Is this were I'm meant to say you?" Ethan joked in reply as he sat at his father's beside. Maddie and Peter where sat on the foot of George's bed.

"No, it's where you're meant to tell your father the truth" his father replied with a smirk.

Ethan thought for a moment before answered, "Probably Caleb" he told him.

George nodded slowly, "I had a feeling you'd say that" he smiled. "For a person to be so strong they must once have had to be weak" George stated.

"What are you saying?" Ethan asked confused at what his father was getting at.

"You need to talk to your brother there are things you don't known about him" His father told him.

"But you do?" Ethan raised his eyebrows surprised.

George nodded slowly, "He opened up to me last night, I've never felt so close to him" he admitted.

"We're talking about Cal here right?" Ethan laughed awkwardly; he was convinced whatever drugs his father had been put on were getting to his head.

"Where is he?" George asked breathlessly, Ethan smile dropped; he stood up and turned up his father's oxygen.

"Shall I get him?" Ethan suggested, George nodded with the last bit of energy he had.

Ethan helped Peter and Maddie down off their father's bed, "Daddy, we'll miss you" Peter spoke out, it was like he suddenly understood everything.

"You be good for your brothers; both of you" George whispered as he stroked Peter's brown hair weakly.

Ethan left quickly to get Cal.

"Caleb" he heard his name being called, "Cal, wake up" he heard again. He opened his eyes to find himself slumped down on the staffroom couch and his brother Ethan was stood before him looking down at him mournfully.

"What time is it?" Cal mumbled as he sat himself up, he still felt half asleep. He checked the staffroom clock on the wall behind Ethan's head to find it had gone half four in the morning.

"Caleb..." Ethan began, the tone to his voice was unusually sorrowful, it caught Cal's attention instantly, "it's Dad" he added, Cal felt his heart jump to his throat, "He's took a turn for the worse and I know you probably won't even want to be there, you've already told me that, I was going to leave you sleeping but I thought I'd give you the opportunity to see him one last time, I completely understand if you say no but...this is it Cal, he's probably going to die within the hour" Ethan explained, it surprised Cal how calm his younger brother was about the situation.

"Where is he?" Cal asked as he stood himself up.

"Upstairs, he's been moved to a sideward-" Ethan's explaining was cut off as Cal hurried out of the staffroom.

"Cal?" Ethan spoke confused as he watched him leave; he then followed him out of the room, "Caleb!" He shouted as he followed him through to reception and up the stairs, but Cal didn't stop until he reached his father's side room.

He looked in through the door to find Peter and Maddie sat on a chair beside his bed doing some drawing. He then look at his father...he looked as though he'd aged ten years within the last few hours.

"Caleb" Ethan spoke breathlessly a she reached him but Cal ignored him.

He slowly made his way into his father's room and stood beside his bed.

"Are you okay Cal?" Maddie asked sheepishly.

Cal just looked his father up and down slowly.

Ethan watched him warily as he noticed tears building in his eyes.

Cal took in a deep breath and took hold of his father's hand, "Dad..." He whimpered.

Ethan, Maddie and Peter exchanged concerned glances, Cal hadn't called his father Dad since he was 18 years old, he hated the guts of him and would never even consider him a father.

"It's Caleb" Cal continued, his father's hand closed over his; he was listening. "You need to wake up Dad, I need to talk to you" he whimpered as he looked over at the machine his father was hooked up to and saw his heart rate was low, he shook his head as he looked back down at him, "I've been thinking about what you said to me last night and..." He trailed off as his chin started to wobble, "I know I should've asked for help when I needed it, and I know you and mum would've been there for me...I guess I have to stop putting my ego first I suppose" he sniffed which caused Ethan to scoff accidentally, it was an automatic response to the ridiculous idea that Cal would actually stop putting his ego first.

Cal shot a look at Ethan who looked at him awkwardly and then back to his father, Cal took a deep breath, "starting today" he stated confidently. The beep form his father's machine started to slow, "Dad I forgive you, I know you only wanted the best for me and I forgive you, there, I said it" he told him as a tear trickled down his cheek, "and I'm sorry I held a grudge on you for so long and made you think I hate you but the truth is...I don't hate you, actually, I..." He looked down as a tear escaped his eye, "I love you Dad" he whispered as he broke down, he brought his hand up to his face to wipe his tears away. Ethan put his arm around him in comfort, looks like their father was right about them having a talk last night.

"Cal are you okay?" He spoke softly.

Cal nodded but he still continued to cry as he held his father's hand, "I know you wanted me to be a Hardy but I'm not, I've lived all my life as a Knight and nothing's going to change that now, I'll always be a Knight...a Knight who's finally letting go" he chuckled slightly to himself at how cheesy his words sounded.

"Cal don't cry" Peter whimpered as he watched him, Peter idolised Cal and to see him so heartbroken scared the small boy.

George's hand slowly released on Cal's and suddenly the machine flat lined, Ethan held his head down and Maddie made her way over to him, he put his arm around her as she built tears in her eyes. Peter stayed sat on his chair confused at what was going on.

"No" Cal spat out as he looked at his father's machine, "you can't go now" he cried, "Dad please" he begged.

"Daddy's gone now Cal" Maddie told him carefully.

Cal shook his head and stepped up to start chest compressions. Ethan watched him sadly.

"He's gone to heaven to be with my mummy and your mummy" Peter told him innocently.

"Come on" Cal muttered as he pumped down hard on his father's chest, ignoring his siblings completely.

"What's he doing to Daddy?" Peter whimpered as he watched Cal try to resuscitate their father.

"Cal..." Ethan placed his hand on his back, "Caleb" he spoke more sternly to try and get his attention, "you're scaring Peter Caleb" Ethan told him.

Cal looked at Ethan suddenly; the tears were streaming down his face at this time.

"Cal he's gone" Ethan told him sadly, "you need to let him go" he whispered.

Cal stepped down and held his head in his hands as he continued to cry. Ethan leaned over and switched off their father's machine.

Peter tugged on Cal's top, "Cal?" He whispered but Cal just brushed past the three of them and stormed out the room.

He was met by Charlie who was on his way in, "Cal, I was just coming to see how your father's doing I..." He trailed off as Cal just stormed past him.

Ethan and the children made their way out of their father's side room looking mournful.

Charlie just looked at him.

"He's gone" Ethan whispered before he led the children away leaving Charlie to visit their dad.

"Cal?" Peter called quietly as they sheepishly made their way into the staffroom where Cal was thrashing about angrily; knocking over cups and paperwork and even the chess pieces found themselves on the floor.

"We sorted everything out" Cal spat out as he looked at Ethan, "we sorted everything out and then he just left" Cal shook his head and then continued to get his anger out by throwing things.

"Maybe that was all he was waiting for Cal, for you two to sort everything out?" Ethan suggested.

"But why?!" Cal cried, "why patch everything up and then leave?!" He asked.

"Because you'd have it on your conscience all your life that you let your father die thinking you hated him" Ethan told him.

"No Ethan, he did this to screw with me one last time and I know it!" Cal roared.

"He loved you Caleb, he always has and he always will" Ethan told him, "and he knows you feel the same, that's all that matters" he spoke carefully.

Cal shook his head and ran his hand over his face to wipe away the tear stains on his cheeks.

"Cal will we be living with you now?" Peter asked.

"I don't know" Cal replied.

Peter frowned up at him confused, "What? But you promised-"

"Yeah well I say a lot of things I don't mean Peter" Cal sighed.

"But promises are important" Peter whimpered.

"Not to Cal" Ethan told their youngest brother who looked up at him with disappointment evident on his face.

"Look social services will get involved with you two and I don't know what they'll decide, they'll do what they think is right. I can't work miracles" Cal told Peter and Maddie, "and to be honest I don't really want two kids to look after and getting in the way all the time, I'm young I want to live I don't want you two holding me back" he snapped.

"Caleb." Ethan barked.

"What? It's the truth" Cal shrugged, "Don't tell me you don't feel the same way" he stated.

Ethan looked down at the kids and then back up at Cal, "Well it's not ideal but...they're family Cal" Ethan replied causing Cal to scoff.

"Don't you see Ethan? He's done this to screw with us; I'm not stupid I know what he's like. Why can't they live with their neighbour he'd always go on about eh? Why do they have to wreck _our_ lives?" Cal spat out causing Ethan's jaw to drop, he couldn't believe the things he was saying in front of their siblings.

"Caleb the last thing they need right now is people giving up on them" Ethan snapped, "They'll live me for as long as they need and if that's a problem for you then you can find somewhere else to live" he spoke sternly.

Cal looked at them for a moment before he nodded, "Fine." He huffed and stormed to the door.

"Where are you going?!" Ethan shouted after him.

"To get pissed!" Cal shouted back.

"At 5 o' clock in the morning?!" Ethan roared in reply but his brother had already stormed off. Ethan sighed angrily and looked down at Peter and Maddie who looked up at him awkwardly, "I'm so sorry about him" He told them.

"Why does he hate us? He said he was my best friend" Peter whimpered.

"He doesn't hate you, he just isn't thinking straight right now" Ethan explained, "The thing about Cal is that he isn't very good at showing his emotions, that was all really just him missing Dad" he told him.

"I don't want us to go to social services Ethan" Maddie whispered.

"I will not let that happen okay? Come on let's get you two home, you need some sleep" Ethan told them and led them out of the staffroom.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello everyone! Here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy. Please let me now your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

* * *

I'll always be a Knight – Chapter thirteen

The first day without seeing Cal didn't surprise Ethan in the slightest, he just figured he'd found his way into some girls bed as usual. The second day didn't surprise him either as he thought the same. By the third day he did start to get worried, he hadn't even tried to get in touch or turned up for work. By day four he knew something was up...it's the longest he'd gone without hearing from Cal in over two years. With their father's funeral fast approaching and Ethan been left to do everything himself, including look after their two younger siblings, the stress was definitely getting to him but not hearing from Cal was what worried him the most. Ethan sent Maddie and Peter into school today as the stress was getting to him far too much; it was day five without Cal. Charlie had come round to Ethan's to help him out with the final plans for his father's funeral.

"Right so everyone's been invited, you've sorted the coffin and where he's being buried, you've got your meeting with the priest tomorrow? Maddie and Peter have picked the music, you've got the readings ready, obviously I'll stand and read at the altar for him he was one of my closest friends, have you sorted your speech?" Charlie asked but Ethan was sat staring blankly ahead of him. "Ethan?" Charlie urged snapping him from his thoughts.

"When was the last time you slept?" Charlie asked concerned this question was triggered by the unmissable bags under his eyes.

"Um...I'm not sure" Ethan replied still staring ahead, his voice was so uncharacteristically monotone.

"Right get yourself some sleep I'll double check you've got everything sorted here" Charlie proposed with a smile.

"He's gone Charlie" Ethan whispered.

"I know but once we get him buried we can all start to move on can't we?" Charlie spoke sympathetically.

"Get who buried?" Ethan asked confused as he looked at him for the first time.

"...your father" Charlie stated awkwardly.

"Not him, Caleb" Ethan corrected him, "he's gone".

"That's what you're worried about?" Charlie asked almost letting out a laugh, "Ethan this is Cal we're talking about, he'll be fine!" He tried to reassure him, "how long has he been gone? A day? Two?" He asked.

"Five" Ethan told him.

"Oh...right" Charlie replied, that was a long time to not hear from someone especially these days. "How about we drive around and see if we can find him? It'll give you a chance to clear your mind of all the funeral stress too" he suggested.

Ethan looked at him uneasily.

"Ethan when was the last time you went outside or opened the curtains or even had a shave?" Charlie asked. Ethan looked incredibly rugged, he had stubble and his hair was messy. Even though it had only been a few days he somehow looked thinner. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt which took Charlie by surprise at first, he'd never see Ethan wear anything but a shirt and pants or his blue scrubs...he was not his usual presentable self at all.

"I...can't remember" Ethan mumbled.

"Right, get your coat we're going for a drive" Charlie stood up.

Ethan sat in the passenger's seat of Charlie's old rusty car watching out the window for any signs of his brother although it was a long shot.

"Have you called around?" Charlie asked as he drove.

"Yes, no one's seen him...I even called Taylor" Ethan explained to Charlie.

"Right" Charlie nodded.

"Before Dad died he told me there's stuff I don't know about Cal that I need to ask him about, he said something about how he had to once be weak to now be this strong, he said Cal opened up to him but we argued before he stormed out and I didn't get a chance to ask him about it" Ethan explained. Charlie could hear that Ethan was on the verge of crying in his voice. "Charlie I told him to find somewhere else to live and he just stormed out, I didn't mean it, I didn't think he'd actually go..." He trailed off.

"We all say things in the heat of the moment that we don't mean" Charlie told him, "How are the kids dealing?" He asked.

"Not well, Maddie cries herself to sleep every night because she's missing Dad and Peter cries himself to sleep every night because he's missing Cal" Ethan told him, "I just don't know what to do Charlie, I've also got to have a meeting with Dad's solicitors about his will and a meeting with social services about the kids but I can't do it without Cal because he's Dad's legal next of kin" Ethan explained; no wonder he was stressed.

"We'll find him Ethan, don't worry" Charlie promised.

"I don't know what to do, should I call the police or just hope he gets in touch?" Ethan asked, "Max has already put missing signs around the hospital for me but I've heard nothing" he told him.

"You need to relax, that's what you need" Charlie stated.

"How can I?!" Ethan snapped, "...I'm sorry" he looked down awkwardly.

Charlie pulled up outside a huge abandoned building.

Ethan looked at him confused, "why have we stopped here?" He asked.

"Ethan when I spoke to your father before he took a bad turn he told me something about Cal...But he also made me promise not to tell you because Cal had made him make that promise" Charlie explained.

"What?! Charlie tell me!" Ethan spat out, "please Charlie, I'm worried he could be dead I can't cope with this feeling in the pit of my stomach, please tell me" he begged. Charlie could see how tired he was.

"When Cal left for uni he hit a rough patch in his life" Charlie told him.

Ethan rolled his eyes, "I already know about it, he failed a year of medical school" he sighed; Charlie had given him false hope.

"What so you know he lost his job and is accommodation and was left homeless living on the streets too do you?" Charlie asked bluntly.

Ethan's jaw dropped, "...what?" He whispered, "this is Cal we're talking about, Caleb Knight my big brother?" He asked.

Charlie nodded, "apparently Cal told him about it that night and George felt so guilty at the fact Cal never asked for help from his family, apparently Cal came back on your 18th birthday but he didn't want to wreck the day" he explained.

Ethan looked at him with tears brimming in his eyes, "I, I can't believe it" he whispered as he looked down, "he promised me he'd come back and he did" he whimpered.

"This is where Louis used to stay when he was sleeping rough; I figured maybe if Cal is he could be here?" Charlie suggested.

Ethan looked up at the massive abandoned tower block over head, "Thank you" he told Charlie and got out of the car.

"I'm not letting you go in there alone Ethan" Charlie got out too.

"I'm not letting you go in there at all Charlie, there could be some dangerous people in here and I don't want you getting hurt playing on my conscience as well" Ethan replied, "I'm a grown man I'll be fine, I'll just go and get Cal, wait here for us" he spoke confidently and head for the tower block.

"Excuse me? Can you help me?" Ethan asked as he hurried over to a group of homeless people who were huddled together, they gave him one look and all ran off in different directions, "No! No please don't run!" Ethan shouted as he followed one man to the back of the building, "wait!" He called as the man reached a dead end.

"Look, we're not hurting anyone by being here, you can't do anything" the man replied as he held up his hands, "are you with the police?" He asked.

"What? No I'm looking for my brother" Ethan told him but the man looked at him unconvinced, "he's been missing for five days and I'm worried, his name is Caleb Knight, here's a picture of him" Ethan held it out, the man took a few steps towards him to look at the picture but still kept his distance warily.

"I don't know him" the man replied uneasily, "what job do you do?" He asked; he was convinced he was from the police.

"I'm a doctor I'm not here with the police I promise, look" he pulled out his lanyard from work and the man finally trusted him enough to step beside him. Ethan took a step back when he was hit by the smell of the man.

"Will you help me doctor? It's my girlfriend, she's pregnant but she's really sick, I don't want to lose her" he begged.

"I'm here for my brother not to help people" Ethan replied as he turned to walk away.

"No, doctor please!" The man stood in front of him, "if you help my girlfriend I'll take you to your brother myself" he promised.

"You said you didn't know him?" Ethan asked warily.

"I lied, I thought you were with the police. He came here a few days ago" he explained, "Do we have a deal?" The man held out his dirt covered hand for him to shake. Ethan looked at it uneasily and then shook hands with him.

"I don't have any equipment with me though so I'll only be able to offer advice" he told him.

"She's in here" the man led him into the building and up three flights of stairs.

"How far gone is she?" Ethan asked.

"I don't know" the man replied as he led him down a corridor.

"Well when was her last check-up?" Ethan asked.

"We're homeless mate, we don't do check-ups" the man replied bluntly as they reached the end of the corridor and into a room with no door, all it had was a blanket hung up for privacy.

"Babe" the man spoke as he made his way in.

Ethan looked around uneasily, how could anyone live here? It was about the size of a hospital cubicle if not smaller, the window was smashed, the room was dark and it stunk to beyond description, all they had was a thin dirty mattress a few blankets and a box which had some cigarettes and two empty vodka bottles placed on top of it.

"This is a doctor, he's going to help you" the man spoke as he kneeled down beside his girlfriend. She was obviously in pain and this was obviously not a safe place for any pregnant lady.

"I'm Doctor Hardy, what's your name?" He asked politely.

"No names." Her boyfriend snapped.

"Right okay, what's the problem?" Ethan asked as he kneeled down in front of her. She didn't reply she just continued to groan in pain. "Can you follow my finger for me" Ethan spoke as he moved his finger around in front of her face, "can I take a look in your mouth?" He asked and she opened it, he looked past her rotten teeth and focused on her tongue; it was swollen. "Okay, have you noticed you have any rashes or skin problems anywhere?" He asked and she nodded and showed off her rash-covered arms, Ethan examined it and then looked back up at her, "okay" He smiled and made a mental note, "do you know how far along in your pregnancy you are? It would really help" he asked.

"I don't know" she whimpered, she looked at him petrified.

He too shared her fear as he had her boyfriend breathing down his neck; the pressure was high, "Look, I'm not going to judge you okay? You don't have to be scared of me, I'm going to try and help" Ethan gave her a smile, "could you perhaps lift your top so I can get a look at your bump please?" He asked, she shot a look at her boyfriend and he nodded. Why did she need permission for that? Ethan had to look past it, "right, I can't be completely sure but I'd say you're around the six month mark, it's hard to tell because you're so underweight" he told her, "Do you eat often?" He asked.

"Any food I get I give to her" the man told him and Ethan nodded.

"Have you any bleeding at all?" He asked, "I know it's not nice to talk about but I need to know" he added.

"No" she replied.

"Okay and do you feel the baby moving?" Ethan asked.

"I used to but not for a while" she replied.

"How long is a while?" Ethan asked concerned.

"Just over a week" she told him.

"Look, this really isn't the place for a baby to live, if you carry on this way it won't last longer than a week that is if you make it through the pregnancy" Ethan told her honestly.

"What do you mean 'make it through the pregnancy'?" The man asked.

"I mean she could die before she has the baby, she is extremely malnourished to be honest I'm surprised she and the baby have latest this long, the fact she hasn't felt the baby move for over a week is worrying and she needs medical attention" Ethan told them as he stood up.

"We can't get medical attention though can we?!" The man shouted angrily.

"Why not?" Ethan asked.

"Because they'll take the baby away!" He roared as tears built in his eyes.

"Look I've treated plenty of homeless people at work and there are ways we can help I promise you" Ethan told them both, "especially for you, they can give you accommodation to stay in with the baby, it won't be perfect but anywhere is better than here right? There are also food banks and other services that will help, they won't want to take the baby from you they'll do everything they can to keep mum and baby together" Ethan explained to the girl, before he looked to her boyfriend, "please, just get her to hospital...before it's too late" he asked. The man looked at him and then back down at his girlfriend and nodded.

"Come on, let's go" the man helped his girlfriend up.

"Doctor you don't have any money for a taxi do you?" He asked.

Ethan looked at him warily before he pulled out a £10 note, "that'll be more than enough, please don't spend it on anything but a taxi though" he asked, he didn't want to be the reason for any drug or alcohol abuse.

"We won't, thanks" the man took the money and they left down the corridor.

"Wait, where are you going?" Ethan asked as he walked alongside him, "you said you'd take me to my brother" he reminded him.

"Oh yeah" the man replied, Ethan let out a sigh of relief, "I don't have a clue who he is, sorry mate" the man told him bluntly as he helped his girlfriend walk.

"What?" Ethan stopped dead, "but you said-" he cut him off.

"I just wanted you to help my girl, I made that up" the man replied.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Ethan roared, "My brother is missing and you've let me waste my time by helping your girlfriend when I could be out looking for him!" Ethan had never felt so angry and betrayed in his life.

"Woah woah what's going on?" Charlie asked as he made his way through the door.

"Help me find him!" Ethan shouted as he pulled the man back by his arm.

"Ethan..." Charlie warned as he watched them warily.

"Look!" The man roared as he grabbed Ethan and pushed him up against the wall, "I don't care about your brother get that into your thick head!" He told him; "with any look he'll be dead by now so he doesn't have to put up with life on the streets" the man spoke through gritted as he still held Ethan up to the wall.

Ethan's blood boiled more than ever, he clenched his fists at his side and launched his left one at the man's face causing him to stumble backwards. The man looked up at Ethan and then launched his fist back but Charlie pulled Ethan out of the way.

"That's enough!" Charlie shouted.

"What you want some too eh gramps?" The man started on Charlie.

"Don't you _dare_ touch him!" Ethan stood in between them protectively.

The man sighed deeply, "look, thanks for your help and I'm not saying he's definitely not here, people come and go everyday here. I hope you find him yeah?" He spoke sincerely and led his girlfriend down the stairs.

Ethan shook his head and looked at Charlie who looked at him disappointedly.

"You need some rest, you're clearly not thinking straight. That definitely wasn't the Ethan I know, it was more what I'd expect from Cal" Charlie told him.

"I just need to find him Charlie" Ethan sighed.

They walked around together searching through the rooms on each floor; one man told him the newer people usually get given rooms up the top of the building because they tend to be the colder ones. The state they saw some people in on their travels around the building, let's just say it definitely took Charlie back to the days his heroin addicted son was at his worst. Charlie was getting increasingly out of breath as they climbed the stairs and the rooms were getting more deserted as they made their way up.

"I don't think he's here Ethan" Charlie told him breathlessly, "we'll call the police instead" he proposed.

Ethan pulled out his phone and dialled Cal's number one last time, he felt his heart jump to his throat when he heard Cal's phone ringing at the other end of the corridor.

"He's here Charlie" Ethan told him as he sprinted down the hall following the sound of Cal's phone as it rang. He followed it all the way to the last room which again had no door, only a blanket there for privacy. He flung open the blanket and stormed inside to find the room was empty...Cal's phone was on a mattress on the floor, he picked it up and held it tight as tears built in his eyes.

"What now?" Charlie asked as he appeared in the doorway.

"I'm going to stay here, I'll wait for him to come back, thanks for bringing me here Charlie I never would've found him if it weren't for you" Ethan smiled for the first time.

Charlie looked at him warily, "You haven't found him though have you Ethan?" he spoke carefully.

"Yeah, I've got his phone now, this must be where he's staying" Ethan replied confidently.

"Or someone could have robbed his phone and you'll be waiting in the room of some strange and violent homeless person for Cal and I doubt they'll be best pleased when they see you sat on their bed" Charlie told him and Ethan's smile quickly dropped.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take if it means I could find Cal" Ethan replied determinately.

"Ethan you've got to think about the kids, you'll have to get them from school soon" Charlie told him.

"They can stay with their neighbour Charlie, Cal is my priority right now" Ethan shook his head.

"Well then you need to get your priorities straight Ethan" Charlie snapped. "You've got a nine and a five year old who are completely reliant on you for everything, they've just lost their dad and all they need right now is closure and someone to love them. Cal is a grown man, he doesn't need you right now Ethan, Peter and Maddie do and they need you at your best, not sleep deprived and not looking after yourself properly, imagine social services knocked on your door today when I did? You'd have them kids taken off you in a heartbeat because how are they supposed to believe you're looking after them when you're not even looking after yourself." Charlie spoke sternly.

Ethan looked at him surprised for a moment but every word he said was true, he had to stop moping about and think about the children, "okay" he nodded and they left. They took a seat back in Charlie's car and Ethan gave the building one last look as his phone started to ring.

"It's Mrs Beauchamp" he stated as he pulled his phone out.

"Well answer it" Charlie told him.

"Hello?" Ethan spoke doing as he was told.

"Ethan" Connie replied.

"Mrs Beauchamp you gave me the week off this week I-" she cut him off.

"I'm aware of that, I wasn't asking you to come in" she told him.

"Then, what is it?" He asked confused.

"I think you should get here. It's Cal, he's been brought in" she spoke carefully.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello everyone! You all know how much I love leaving you on a cliff-hanger, I hope you don't hate me too much ;) Here's the next chapter, will Cal be okay? Please let me know your thoughts as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter fourteen

"Okay everyone as you all know by now that's Cal in there, he's had a really nasty blow to the head and he seems very disoriented and distressed, it's going to be hard treating him and so we need people who are going to stay focused" Rita announced to everyone at the nursing station.

"I'll help!" Max shouted out.

"Max, you're a porter" Rita rolled her eyes, "thanks though" she added.

Robyn looked through the doors at Cal hauntingly, "I'm sorry, I can't" she told her.

"Not a problem Robyn, you can help out in cubicles for now" Rita replied.

"I'm up for it" Lofty put himself forward.

"Great" Rita smiled and led him into RESUS.

"Get off me!" Cal shouted as he fought with Dylan and Zoe who were trying to calm him down.

"Why hasn't he got a neck brace on if he's had a blow to the head?" Lofty asked confused as he made his way over.

"He refused one in the ambulance" Zoe informed him.

Lofty watched as Cal moved about groaning in pain as the blood poured from his head, "someone should get Ethan" lofty announced as he backed away.

"Connie already has, Lofty we need you here" Zoe told him sternly, he nodded sheepishly and slowly made his way back over to them.

"Can you tell me your name?" Dylan asked as he flashed a torch in Cal's eyes, "no? Okay, do you know who I am?" He asked as Cal pulled his head away, "this is ridiculous!" Dylan spat out as he looked up at Zoe helplessly.

"Right Lofty we need him booked in for a CT ASAP" Zoe ordered as she tried to hold a dressing to Cal's head to stem the bleeding.

"He's awake so he'll be fine right? It could be worse he could be unresponsive" Lofty spoke to Zoe looking for some reassurance that his friend will be okay.

"He was unconscious for a long time before someone found him, he seems to have amnesia, he's distressed, bleeding heavily and to top it he's under the influence of alcohol so although it could be worse it seems hard to believe" Dylan replied bluntly.

"CT Lofty" Zoe spoke out reminding him of her orders. Lofty nodded and headed out.

"Where is he?!" Ethan called frantically as he rushed through the ED doors, Charlie followed closely behind. It took everyone a few seconds to register who Ethan was at first.

"He's in RESUS" Louise told him and he hurried through, "is it just me or does Ethan look kind of attractive when he's all rugged?" Louise asked surprised, "I honestly didn't think he owned a pair of jeans" she added with a giggle.

"He hasn't slept, eaten properly, shaved, probably showered, or even thought straight in over four days, if that's attractive to you that's quite concerning" Charlie spoke out in Ethan's defence, "He needs his friends now more than ever, I'll ask you all to show some support" He told everyone who stood at reception, they all nodded respectfully in reply.

Ethan burst through the doors to RESUS.

"Cal" Ethan called as he was instantly at his bedside. There was a slight glimmer of recognition in Cal's eyes as he looked up at Ethan but he then continued to move about in pain. Ethan looked down at him horrified; he looked _rough_ and that was without him being covered in blood. "What the hell happened?" Ethan snapped.

"He was found in an alleyway in the city centre, they think he'd fallen over drunk, knocked his head and became unconscious but by the looks of things he's been left there all night before someone found him" Zoe explained.

Ethan shook his head, "Cal you're coming home do you understand me? I'm sorry for what I said, you're coming home with me" Ethan told him desperately as tears built in his eyes.

"He's also very confused, he doesn't know who he is, who we are or where he is" Zoe told Ethan.

"What?" He asked surprised, "Cal it's me" Ethan looked down at him, "it's me Cal, Ethan...Nibbles?" He spoke trying to jog Cal's memory.

"I want my Dad" Cal groaned.

"Your Dad?!" Ethan spat out amazed, Cal had never uttered those words in his life, "Yeah well he's definitely confused" he tried to make light of the situation but it was obvious he was petrified for his brother.

"His CT scan showed he has a subdural haematoma" Dylan announced as he made his way through the doors holding Cal's CT scan results. Ethan sighed deeply and looked down at Cal, he was starting to lose hope.

"Right call up to the neurosurgeons and tell them we're bringing Cal up now, I already told them they could be needed before the CT and so they're expecting him" Zoe told Lofty who grabbed the phone.

Zoe then turned to Cal who had his hands held up to his face, she sighed and pulled his hands away "Right, you're going to need surgery on your brain to-" she was cut off when Cal sat up and pulled his arms from her grasp.

"Get off me!" He slurred.

"Woah Cal calm down" Ethan told him as Cal crossed his legs and held his head into his hands once more and began to cry, "Look I know this must be scary and confusing for you but these people are here to look after you okay? They're doing their job and so you need to calm down and let them get on with it alright?" Ethan spoke calmly, it felt so wrong talking to Cal as if he were a patient, "My name's Doctor Hardy and I'm going to be here to look after you too okay? You can trust me" He smiled as he guided Cal back so he was laying down.

"Hardy?" Cal asked confused and Ethan nodded frantically, was Cal's memory coming back?

"Right let's go" Zoe announced as Max came in to take Cal up for surgery.

"You're going to be alright mate" Max told him as he wheeled Cal out of the room. Ethan stayed alongside the trolley the whole time. As they were stood waiting for the lift to open Cal took hold of Ethan's hand and held it tight.

Ethan looked down at him with tears building in his eyes, "It's okay Cal" He forced out a smile.

Ethan stayed with Cal up until the moment he left for his surgery. He had been sedated and was now calm, although all this was going on Ethan was just happy he'd found his brother...even though he could not make it out of surgery alive.

"He'll be okay Ethan" Charlie told him in reassurance.

"How can you even say that Charlie? He's got a blot clot in his head, how is that 'okay'?" He asked.

"He's in the best possible hands Ethan" Charlie replied.

"This is all my fault" Ethan mumbled.

"No it isn't" Charlie told him.

"That could be it, he might not ever get is memory back or worse he could die in surgery!" Ethan spat out.

Charlie shook his head, "You need to stop worrying" he stated.

"How can I?" Ethan shrugged.

"Get yourself to the on call room and get some sleep" Charlie suggested.

Ethan shook his head, "I need to pick the kids up from school" he mumbled.

"You can't be driving in this state Ethan, you haven't slept in days it'd be as bad as driving drunk" Charlie told him responsibly.

"Charlie. I'm fine" Ethan told him as convincingly as he could but Charlie was having none of it.

"You're not" Charlie replied bluntly.

"Those kids need me" Ethan spoke determinately.

"Yeah but they don't need you crashing them into a wall though Ethan" Charlie spoke sternly as he looked into Ethan's tired bloodshot eyes. Ethan held his had down "look you've got what? 50 minutes before you have to leave? Go up to the on call room and have a sleep, I'll come and wake you in 45 minutes" Charlie proposed.

"I won't be able to sleep anyway with everything that's going on Charlie" Ethan sighed.

"Go to the on call room now, that's an order" Charlie ordered with a wink.

Ethan gave in, he sighed deeply and made his way upstairs.

Charlie watched Ethan leave and then made his way over to Noel's desk, "right, Noel, I need you to find out the school Madison and Peter Hardy go to please" he ordered.

"On it Charlie" Noel smiled as he typed away on his computer.

45 minutes later, as promised, Charlie made his way upstairs to get Ethan. He knocked lightly on the door of the on call room but he got no reply, he opened it up and popped his head inside to find Ethan was fast asleep on the bed. Charlie smiled to himself; he was just glad Ethan was finally getting some rest. Ethan was convinced he wouldn't be able to sleep with all the bad things that were going on in his life recently but luckily his exhausted body thought otherwise; he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Charlie quietly closed the door and left to pick up Maddie and Peter from school, leaving Ethan to get some sleep.

A good few hours later Ethan was awoken by his phone ringing. He answered it still with his eyes closed; he was half asleep. He hadn't slept this good in weeks.

"Hello?" He mumbled.

"Hi Ethan it's Sally George's old neighbour, I was just calling to see how the kids are dealing with things?" A ladies voice replied.

"Yeah, yeah they're doing fine..." Ethan trailed off with a yawn.

"And the funeral is this Friday?" She asked but got no reply as Ethan drifted off, "hello?" She asked.

"Yes that's right, funeral Friday" Ethan replied, he never wanted to get out of this bed.

"It must be so hard for the kids to understand" she replied dreadfully, "have you kept them off school this week?" She asked.

"I took them in today, I had lots to do" Ethan replied with another yawn.

"Maybe that's for the best so they can take their mind off things for a while" she replied and Ethan nodded, which was pointless because she couldn't see him nodding through a phone, "are they nearby? I'd love to talk to them" she asked.

"They're still in school" Ethan replied.

"Ethan...you do know it's half six don't you? School finished hours ago" she told him concerned.

"What?!" Ethan's eyes shot open, he was horrified when he found himself still in the on call room.

"Maybe your brother picked them up" she suggested.

"That's impossible" Ethan replied as he jumped out of bed and ran downstairs frantically, "look I'll have to go" he put the phone down and placed it in the pocket of his jeans as he ran.

"Ethan..." Charlie smiled as he saw him head down the stairs into reception.

"Why didn't you wake me Charlie? You said you'd wake me!" Ethan snapped as he hurried past him.

"No Ethan wait..." Charlie called as he followed him to the ED doors.

Ethan spun around to face him, "I haven't got time to hear whatever excuse you've thought up Charlie I have to get the kids, if social services find out about this then that's it, they'll be taken-"

He was cut off by two small cheerful voices that shouted from inside the ED, "Ethan!" Peter and Maddie ran straight for him for a hug.

Ethan sighed with relief, "How did you...?" He asked confused as he held them.

"Charlie picked us up from school!" Maddie told him.

Ethan looked up at him awkwardly.

"I thought you could do with some sleep" Charlie explained.

"I'm sorry..." Ethan spoke ashamed, "thank you" he told him.

"Why are we back in hospital Ethan? Is it Dad?" Peter asked innocently.

"No Peter dad's dead you know this" Maddie rolled her eyes.

"No Peter we're not here for Dad..." Ethan kneeled down before them; "we're actually here for Cal" he told them carefully.

"Cal's here?!" Peter gasped excitedly.

"Why's he in hospital? Is he okay? Is he going to die too?" Maddie asked in worry.

"Can we see him?" Peter asked.

"Actually I don't even think I can see him just yet matey" Ethan replied as he looked up at Charlie who gave him a nod meaning Cal is out of surgery.

"He's out?" Ethan asked with a sigh of relief.

"Literally about five minutes ago, I was just about to wake you" Charlie explained.

"Ethan you look happy" Peter noted.

"That's because I am" Ethan replied. Just the fact Cal had made it out of surgery was enough to give him relief.

"I'll mind the kids while you go up to see him" Charlie told Ethan who smiled at him gratefully.

"Can't we see him too?" Peter asked disappointedly.

"You can see him when he wakes up properly, let Ethan see him for now, come on let's go to the staffroom" Charlie led the kids away and Ethan left to see Cal.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hello everyone! Here is the next chapter which I hope you enjoy. I've been asked a lot lately to post my chapters more frequently and I am trying to achieve that; I want you as readers to be happy of course. However if you are new to my stories you won't know my style of writing is that I have the general plot to every story I write however I write the actual chapters as I go on meaning they were probably only just completed on the day I post them. I don't tend write loads of chapters and have them ready to post. The reason I do this is allows some spontaneity to my stories, as I've said before people's reviews tend to spring up an idea for a chapter or new part to a story that I may not have seen before when plotting it and so I enjoy this way of writing much more even though it can be challenging at times. As many of you know already I try to get you guys as involved in my stories as I can and hopefully I can start that up again in future stories as I know you like that touch too.**

 **** Speaking of future stories...the reason I have been so scarce on updating recently is that I've been working on another story that I am incredibly excited to post. I mentioned previously I will be posting a sequel to "Good and Bad things" which is one of my personal favourite stories I've written (not being vain at all I promise) and given the reviews you guys were quite keen on it too and so I'm happy to announce it will be getting published** ** _very_** **soon. Ethan and little Thomas who we all fell in love with will be returning soon, how will they cope after the death of Sofia? As you can tell I'm super excited for this sequel and if you haven't already read it you're probably very confused about what this giant piece of text before this chapter is about, if that's true I ask you to perhaps give it a read (hopefully it won't disappoint) before I post the sequel as I can already inform you now it will be just as long as the original (if not longer) meaning over 40 chapters so it will be what I'll be spending the majority of my time working on in the future and I'd absolutely love it if you guys joined me for the story! Just out of interest has anyone read "Good and Bad things" who is still reading my stories today? That'd be pretty cool! I know of a some who have...Right I'll stop blabbering on now I seemed to have gone majorly off topic (I doubt anyone has even read this and I'm sorry it was so long) I hope you enjoy this chapter haha, have a good day you wonderful people, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter fifteen

He made his way into the side room Cal had been placed. He looked awful; no surprise there. He had a bandage covering his head and an intravenous drip attached to his arm but the fact that he didn't have an oxygen mask on his face or had any pumps doing the breathing for him proved to Ethan instantly the operation must have been more than a success of he was breathing on his own that quickly after surgery. He was asleep, of course; he was still under the effects of the anaesthetic. It was when he eventually comes round that had Ethan worried but only time would tell how his brother would be. Ethan sat down in the chair beside his brother and waited, he checked his obs every few minutes and fortunately they remained stable, he had to do something to take his mind off all this worrying it was driving him insane. It wasn't until he felt someone nudge him that he realised he's fallen asleep when he jumped awake in his chair. He looked up to find Cal was looking at him.

"Hey" Ethan smiled, "how are you feeling?" He asked worryingly, this is the moment Ethan had been waiting for...had Cal gotten his memory back?

"Like I've been hit by a bus" Cal groaned, his voice sounded so hoarse.

"That's about normal" Ethan smiled; Cal was back. Ethan had never felt so relieved in his life.

"It went well then?" Cal asked.

"Yes, they removed the haematoma and patched you straight back up again, you'll need a few checkups and scans to check it hasn't returned but if all goes well there you'll be back to normal in no time" Ethan smiled, "you are missing a huge patch of hair right at the back of your head though...it looks slightly ridiculous" he teased. Ethan obviously hadn't seen the back of Cal's head but he knew the drill when it came to this surgery. He just wanted to make Cal feel at ease and Ethan's way of that was the use of pretty crappy jokes.

"It'll grow back" Cal replied flashing a smile at him.

"You had me so scared Cal" Ethan admitted.

"I had myself scared...I thought I was going to die" Cal told him, "I feel ashamed how I was behaving, I'll have to apologise to everyone who treated me" he stated embarrassed.

"They'll understand it was your injury that caused your mood change and memory loss, it must have been scary not knowing who anyone was or where you were" Ethan stated.

"It was" Cal replied, "but you were there, you were the only one who tried to calm me down everyone else was just talking all technical and trying to keep me still it was horrible, I felt like I was lost but I felt like I could trust you most out of everyone there" he spoke honestly.

"That's what I'm for though Caleb, you would've done the same for me" Ethan replied easily, "you need to get home and be surrounded by your loved ones who'll look after you and support you, there's no way I'm letting you go back out on the streets" Ethan shook his head at the thought of it, he was never letting his brother out of his sight again.

"You're a really good doctor" Cal told him honestly.

Ethan raised his eyebrows amazed, "Wow I've actually never heard you say that before, you should hit your head more often" he laughed.

"We've met before Doctor Hardy?" Cal asked confused.

Ethan felt his heart plummet but then he realised Cal must've been putting it on, "oh very funny" Ethan laughed but when he noticed Cal's straight face Ethan's smile dropped, "you're joking right?" He asked.

"No?" Cal replied, "I mean I feel like I know you from somewhere but...I can't put my finger on it, definitely the name Hardy rings a bell. I don't even know my name though Doctor I'm not exactly in the right place right now, I'm guessing my name is Cal because that's what everyone calls me but you're different, you call me Caleb...but _why_ are you different though?" He asked as he searched his currently very jumbled mind.

Cal's words were ripping Ethan's heart right out of his chest, "Caleb I'm your..." He trailed off when the doctor within him kicked in, confusing him even more by telling him he was his brother wouldn't go down too well with his recovery, "...your doctor and I'm going to stick by you until your memory returns, I believe in you." He told him as tears built in his eyes, "Get some rest" he stood up to leave.

"Nibbles?" Cal spoke out as Ethan reached the door. Ethan turned to look at him, "you said that to me when you came into the room before my surgery, you said it as if I should know what that means, what does it mean?" Cal asked helplessly.

Ethan looked at him sadly, "nothing" he told him.

"Oh Doctor!" Cal called before he left.

"Yes?" Ethan sighed.

"Can you try and get in touch with my father for me?" He asked.

Ethan just nodded slowly, "please try and remember Cal, just try" he whispered and left. He had to leave if he were there any longer he would've broken down right before him which wouldn't be a good thing for a patient to witness a doctor doing. Ethan pressed the button and waited for the lift to come as he ran his hand over his face; he couldn't believe the conversation he'd just had with his brother; Cal genuinely saw him as a stranger. Ethan was so torn between what to do, should he tell Cal the truth or just hope he figures it out for himself? What should he tell Maddie and Peter? He realised he had to come up with the answer to that question sooner than he thought as the lift opened and Charlie was stood in there with the two kids.

"They wouldn't stop going on about Cal so I thought I could bring them up to see him...obviously I was going to run it by you first" Charlie told him.

Ethan took a deep breath and looked down at the kids, "You know, Cal's really tired right now he needs his rest" He explained carefully. Charlie could tell something bad was up.

"I won't wake him up I promise! I drew him a picture Ethan it will make him smile I know it will" Peter explained excitedly as he held a folded piece of paper up to him.

"Not now Peter" Ethan spoke sternly as he shoved him back into the lift and pressed the button to reception.

The short journey in the lift was filled with an awkward silence the whole way until the doors opened and the noise of the busy reception flooded in.

The two kids were the first to step out of the lift, "Max!" Charlie called seeing him rush by, "Take Maddie and Peter to the vending machine will you I need to talk to Ethan" he forced some money into his hand and pressed the button back up to Cal's floor.

"What? No! Charlie!" Max called as the door started to close.

"Thanks Max" Charlie smiled gratefully just as the door slammed shut. He then turned to Ethan who was resting back against the wall of the lift and had his head held down, "What happened?" Charlie asked.

Ethan looked up at him with tears building in his eyes, "He doesn't remember me Charlie" he told him sadly, "I thought he did at first, he was talking to me fine and then he just called me called me Doctor Hardy out of nowhere and asked me if he knew me and God Charlie I'm so scared, what if his memory never comes back?" he whimpered.

"Ethan..." Charlie sighed sympathetically.

"Ugh I'm so sick of crying!" Ethan sighed angrily at himself as he wiped his tears away.

The doors opened and Charlie urged Ethan to walk by pressing his hand against his back.

"What was he saying?" Charlie asked as they head to Cal's room.

"He was just having a normal conversation with me, he was talking about when he was in RESUS and he remembered me talking to him in there" Ethan recalled their conversation.

"Well that's pretty good going considering just over an hour ago he had people prodding around in his head" Charlie replied, "look Ethan I know that must've been scary for him to not know who you are-" Ethan cut him off.

"He sees me as a total stranger Charlie, it actually made me feel sick when I realised; that's my brother in there!" Ethan shook his head as he looked through the window at Cal who was now back asleep.

"How often do you see patients wake up from surgery and bounce back to normal straight away?" Charlie asked, "Almost never Ethan. We can't work miracles here though some people may think we do. It takes recovery and a lot of it but Cal's still in there, somewhere, the fact he knew to trust you out of all people is as big of a glimmer of hope as we need to tell us that. Look it's the first time he's woken up from a major surgery and he was able to make conversation, he was awake, moving, his obs are fine and he's breathing on his own. How often do patients wake up from brain surgery a bit lost and confused?" Charlie tried his best to reassure the younger man, "If he was your patient would you be at all worried?" he asked, "honestly" he added looking at him knowingly.

"No" Ethan admitted.

"Exactly" Charlie smiled, "Leave Cal to recover, you need to spend some time with the kids and some time on looking after yourself too, you're too much of a gentleman to have stubble Ethan sort it out" Charlie teased causing Ethan to crack a smile as he ran his palm across the stubble on his face.

"Sorry to bring it up but you've still got a lot to sort out for your father's funeral too" Charlie told him sheepishly.

If he were being honest; Ethan had completely forgotten about his father with everything that was going on with Cal.

"I'm here if you need me" Charlie smiled, "now get yourself home" He ordered.

"Thanks Charlie, I really couldn't have lasted without you these past few days" Ethan admitted just as he was about to leave a very professional looking lady stood before him.

"Caleb Knight?" She asked.

Ethan looked at her confused, "Um, no I'm Ethan his brother" He told her.

"That's Caleb in there" Charlie pointed through the window at Cal awkwardly.

"Right" The lady sighed as she looked at Cal.

"May I ask what you want?" Ethan asked warily.

"I'm Paula, I'm from social services. I've recently been made aware of the death of George Hardy and so I've been asked to check on his two children Maddie and Peter Hardy" She explained.

Ethan looked at Charlie helplessly and then back to Paula; he knew this day would come sooner or later, "Who made you aware of his death?" He asked confused.

"I believe it was their primary school" she told him.

Ethan sighed deeply, "Look the kids are staying with me and Caleb and they have been for quite a while now as my father took too ill to look after them himself, I'm their half brother" he informed her.

"I've done some research and Caleb Knight is the legal next of kin to George. George wrote to us a few weeks before he past and told us he wanted the children to be placed in the care of Caleb after he dies and so I'm here to check all is well with that arrangement" She told him, "An 'Ethan' wasn't mentioned once I'm afraid and so I need to talk to Caleb, not you" She added as she looked through some notes.

"Well I'm sorry but you can't talk to him right now, do you honestly think he's up for a conversation at the moment?! Just look at him!" Ethan snapped as he pointed back through to Cal.

Charlie stepped up, "Look now isn't really the best times. Ethan has got a lot on his plate at the moment as you can clearly tell, can you not schedule a more formal and professional meeting to discuss the wellbeing of the children? Perhaps have a little respect and allow their family to grieve over the death of their father and at least get the funeral over and done with before they have to worry about social services too? I knew George personally for many years and I have too known Ethan and Cal, his sons, for over two years and so I can personally assure you those children are in the best possible hands living with Ethan and Cal; they're doing everything they can for them and the kids love the bones of their big brothers so please, all I ask is you is to wait until things are more settled and you could even have that conversation with Caleb you need so much" Charlie pleaded but she looked uneasy, "have you had any concerns made about the children?" Charlie asked.

She shook her head " _No_ but-" Charlie cut her off.

"So there is no need for you to worry, is there?" he asked bluntly.

As she opened her mouth to talk she was cut off, "We love living with Ethan and Cal!" Maddie called as her Peter and Max made their way down the corridor towards them.

"Cal's my best friend, he made me better" Peter told her excitedly.

"And Ethan's mine, he lets me go to dance lessons every Wednesday again, Daddy was always too sick to take me" Maddie stated as she took hold of Ethan's hand.

"I'm guessing these are the kids?" Paula asked as she looked down at them.

Ethan placed his arms around them protectively and nodded.

Paula sighed deeply and wrote down in her notes, "I'm going to need that follow meeting, don't think you're getting out of it" She warned before she turned and walked away.

"Sorry we butted in Ethan" Maddie apologised.

Ethan Kneeled down to them, "Don't you dare apologise okay? You may have just saved the day there, both of you" He grinned as they both hugged him tightly.

"Can I see Cal now?" Peter urged.

Ethan looked up at Charlie who shrugged, "fine" Ethan told Peter, "But we can't wake him up okay?" He added.

"Okay, I pinky promise I won't" Peter wrapped his small finger around Ethan's much bigger one, "I just want to give him something" he added as he rushed in to Cal's room. Ethan watched on warily from the doorway beside Charlie, Maddie and Max.

Peter stood on his tiptoes so he could reach Cal's bed; he placed the piece of folded up paper he had from earlier on his chest as he slept, "I love you Cal, get better soon" Peter whispered as quietly as he could before he tiptoed out of the room.

"What's on that paper buddy?" Ethan asked as he closed Cal's door over.

"You'll find out when Cal opens it" Peter smiled and skipped ahead down the corridor happily.


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi everyone! Here is the next chapter (finally)! Will Cal's memory ever come back? I'm going to come up with upload days soon so you know when to expect updates as they're very off right now due to new changes to my everyday life which doesn't give me much time to upload but I'll get back into the swing of things soon enough I'm sure. Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter, please let me know your thoughts on this one too, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter sixteen.

Ethan was sat in Cal's side room watching him as he slept. Out of everything that was going on in his life right now, he wanted nothing more than to get Cal back. Every second that ticked by he felt he was losing his brother bit by bit...Ethan had taken Charlie's advice and decided to try and focus on looking after himself and the kids. He'd sent the kids into school again today they deserved at least one small piece of normality in their world that had now been turned upside down. As for looking after himself, he made sure to get a shower and make himself a decent meal after he put the kids to bed last night, he even got as far as shaving but spending that long looking in the mirror at himself just caused him to get lost in his thoughts causing his ten minute shave to almost last an hour. At least he got it done. Everyone seeing the fact Ethan was back to looking after himself once more caused them to think Ethan was back to normal but he was the only one who knew, that of course, was not true. At least it got them off his back.

He looked around the room to find Peter's drawing had been pinned up in the wall to the right of Cal's bed. He looked over his shoulder at it to get a better look of it. The five year old had messily drawn his family. Cal was stood holding hands with Peter beside Ethan and Ethan was stood holding Maddie's hand. In the sky were three angels looking down on them, two female, one male, who were to represent Maddie and Peter's mum, Cal and Ethan's mum and their father. Ethan could only make it out because Peter had labelled everyone in his scruffy handwriting. Just seeing caused a lump to grow in Ethan's throat. God knows how Cal took it with his mind being so jumbled...he dread to think.

He looked back at Cal and took hold of his hand, "We're going to be okay Caleb" he whispered as tears built in his eyes. He then noticed Cal was starting to wake. Ethan quickly jumped up and grabbed his notes; he stood at the foot off his bed and read through them as if he were his Doctor there to check on him, which was the role he had taken up during Cal's amnesia episode. He was in that much of a panic he pretended to write with his right hand, even though he was left handed...there was no going back now.

Cal's eyes flickered open and his attention was drawn to Ethan instantly, a smirk grew on his face as he watched him work, "Doctor Hardy" Cal stated, his voice sounded so hoarse.

Hearing Cal call him 'Doctor Hardy' and not 'Nibbles' as he usually would ached his heart but he couldn't show it. Never did he think he'd miss his brother calling him Nibbles.

"Morning" Ethan forced out a smile as he looked up at Cal and then back down at his notes, "How are you feeling today?" Ethan asked as he looked through his notes.

"I want to get out of here" Cal replied honestly as he took a sip of water from a glass that was placed on the table beside his bed, "when do you think I'll get out Doctor?" He asked, his voice now sounded back to normal.

"Well it all depends on your recovery, you could've been leaving today if your memory was intact" Ethan explained.

"So I could get out tomorrow?" Cal asked.

"If you miraculously wake up with your memory being restored then yes, of course" Ethan replied sarcastically, it was evident Cal wouldn't leave with his memory being so off.

Cal smirked at him but Ethan wouldn't look up at him, "You shaved" Cal noted.

"I did yes" Ethan nodded but still kept his head down.

"Not very well by the looks of it" Cal noted as he gestured to a cut on Ethan's chin.

Ethan ran his finger across it and winced, "it's hard to stay focused when your mind would much rather be elsewhere" he replied.

"Well letting your mind go drifting off with a razor in your hand isn't the best thing to do" Cal replied sarcastically.

Ethan rolled his eyes, this was the type of comment Cal would have made had his brain still fully been intact, "Well, I know that now don't I?" Ethan told him.

"Are you working tomorrow _Doctor_?" Cal asked as he watched Ethan work.

"No I'm not...I have a funeral tomorrow" Ethan told him.

"...Anyone close?" Cal asked.

"My father" Ethan replied as he shot a glance up at him.

Cal looked down awkwardly, "I'm sorry for your loss" he told him sincerely.

"Yeah well I seem to be losing everything in my life at the moment so there's nothing new there" Ethan told him.

"Like what?" Cal asked confused.

"Like my mind for starters" Ethan snapped as he slammed his notes down onto Cal's bed, but then he realised it wasn't Cal's fault, he sighed deeply and looked up at him "sorry, it's just, I've lost a lot of important people in my life recently, the most important being my brother, I haven't lost him _per say_ he's still here but I can see him slipping further and further away from me and it breaks my heart. Also, I'm currently on the verge of losing my two half siblings to social services which is also so horrible, I promised them I'd make everything okay but I can't do that, I can't even promise myself that anymore because everything is just going to pot at the moment and I really don't think I can carry on much longer" Ethan trailed off as tears built in his eyes.

"Ethan..." Cal sighed but Ethan just rolled his eyes, "Eth" Cal called once more and he looked up at him, "I'm back Ethan" Cal told him.

"You're not" Ethan smiled sadly.

"No I am, I promise. Yesterday I wasn't but today I am I was just winding you up then I didn't think I'd upset you" Cal explained.

"Yeah right" Ethan replied.

"Nibbles, I remember you, and Maddie and Peter and Dad" Cal told him as he raised his eyebrows waiting his brother's response.

Ethan looked over at Peter's labelled drawing and then back to Cal, "it's going to take more than you naming a few people to get you out of here I'm afraid" Ethan replied, "get some rest" he whispered and turned for the door.

"You had a stutter until you were seven because your tonsils were so big when you were little you were scared to talk because they hurt so much" Cal shouted as Ethan reached the door. He froze on the spot, "you'd snore so loud of a night that I couldn't sleep so I'd sit up and count those stupid plastic stars on our ceiling over and over again...all 37 of them" he added, Ethan slowly turned to face him, "I once pulled you off the top bunk of our beds and when you landed you broke your wrist in two places" Cal continued stating facts as Ethan watched him in open mouthed shock, "You didn't shave your face until you were seventeen because you were petrified of putting a blade up to skin in case you'd cut yourself and somehow enjoyed the feeling like when I used to self harm...you were always useless at shaving and honestly? You've never really gotten any better at it. You write with your left hand so I don't know why you were pretending to write then with your right" Cal stated confidently as Ethan grew tears in his eyes, "My dad hated my guts and he always idolised you and I hated him for that" he told him, "he was so annoyed at the fact I would play football that he drugged me every single day of my life until I was sixteen and you had a bright idea of getting me off the medication and it completely turned my life around and I owe it all to you Ethan. I owe my life to you, _not_ him." Cal finished and he waited his brother's reaction.

"Cal..." Ethan whimpered, "You're back" he whispered as a tear escaped his eye.

"I am Ethan" Cal smiled, they looked at each other for a moment before Cal spoke out, "Oh come here" He spat out as he held his arms open and Ethan hurried to him, crumbling into him instantly. Cal and Ethan didn't hug often but these last few days the only place Ethan wanted to be was in Cal's arms; he could always count on Cal for making everything better and not having him around to do that was horrible.

Cal had never felt his brother hold him so tightly before, "What's wrong?" He chuckled slightly.

"Cal I never thought I was getting you back, I thought you were gone for good-" Cal cut his crying younger brother off.

"I had another CT scan this morning and they said the swelling had gone down loads. When I got back one of the nurses handed me Peter's drawing at it all came back to me in a split second, it was literally like my life flash before my eyes it was amazing. I knew you'd come in to see me so I thought I'd carry it on for a bit, for a laugh" Cal explained.

"Yeah well it wasn't funny" Ethan sniffed as he took off his glasses and wiped his tears away, "Caleb why did you leave? Is sleeping on the streets really easier than grieving with your family?" He asked.

"I thought I could manage it, I've done it before, I can do it again...that's what I thought anyway, it was horrible Ethan, it's way worse than when I last lived on the streets, I literally drank every day to get through" Cal told him.

"Why did you live on the streets last time Caleb? What is so wrong with asking for help from your family when you need it?" Ethan snapped.

"My ego is too big for even me to keep up with" Cal joked and Ethan rolled his eyes.

"You're coming home with me and you're staying there, do you hear me?" Ethan spoke sternly.

"You'll regret saying that" Cal smirked.

"What else do you remember?" Ethan asked excitedly.

"Everything Ethan" Cal told him.

"Well...what was mum's name?" Ethan asked as he sat before his brother on his bed.

Cal rolled his eyes, "Matilda" he replied.

Ethan nodded, "And Dad's?" he asked.

"George" Cal spat out, "Ethan stop with all the questions will you" He brought his hands up to his head and held it.

"Sorry" Ethan smiled in reply as he watched his brother proudly, he'd never been so grateful to have a conversation with him before.

"Dad's funeral is really tomorrow?" Cal asked.

"Yeah, you don't have to go" Ethan told him carefully.

"I want to go" Cal replied responsibly, "You sorted it all out on your own?" he asked amazed.

"Charlie has helped out a lot" Ethan told him.

"I should've been there for you" Cal shook his head.

"Well you're here now" Ethan couldn't hide his gleaming smile, "Peter has really missed you" He informed him.

"Did social services really come for the kids?" Cal asked.

"Yes" Ethan sighed sadly, "They need to sort a meeting out with you over their 'wellbeing'" Ethan informed him.

"Why me?" Cal asked confused.

"Because Dad wrote to them saying he wants them to go to you once he dies, he also has you down as his next of kin" Ethan explained.

"Wow" Cal raised his eyebrows in shock, "Whatever medication they had him on really went to his head" He joked, Ethan smiled along.

"I'll go and see if I can find someone about you getting discharged" Ethan told him as he stood up, "I'm so glad you're back Cal" He spoke sincerely.

"Me too, Nibbles" Cal replied. They shared a smile and Ethan left with the feeling of contentment within him; he hadn't felt this in a long time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi everyone! Sorry again for the late update and I will again blame my currently hectic life. This story will be coming to an end very soon just a warning for you all, I really hope you've enjoyed the read. On a lighter note the 30** **th** **anniversary is officially TOMORROW! Get your popcorn and tissues at the ready, not long to wait at all. Saturday 8pm. Please let me know your thoughts on this chapter, as always, thanks, Kayxxx :)**

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I'll always be a Knight – Chapter seventeen

Both Ethan and Cal let out a huge sigh of relief as they walked through the front door of their apartment.

"It's good to be home" Cal announced to which Ethan nodded. The last few days home hadn't felt like home without Cal being around to annoy him.

Cal looked around him surprised, "Ethan...this place is a tip" he stated as he examined the mess the apartment was currently in obviously left by his brother; uncharacteristically.

Ethan too looked at it, slightly embarrassed, "...yeah well, when you're planning a funeral, worrying about your brother being potentially brain damaged and looking after two young children whilst trying to keep your mental health intact, cleaning the apartment does seem to be lower on your list of priorities" he replied.

"This is, _my_ , type of mess, if I would've messed our room up like this when we were younger you would've had a panic attack" Cal teased as he slowly bent down to pick up some dirty clothes off the floor.

"Careful Caleb" Ethan warned as he grabbed the clothes from the floor before Cal reached them and placed them on the kitchen table.

"Ethan, I'm fine" Cal replied with a reassuring smile.

"You need some rest" Ethan told him.

"Rest?! That's all I've been doing for three days in that hospital, I've had enough rest" Cal moaned.

"Doctor's orders" Ethan tilted his head.

"Well, I'm a doctor, and I say I'm fine" Cal replied smugly as he sat himself down at the table causing Ethan to roll his eyes, "honestly I am, I wouldn't say I was if I wasn't, I wouldn't mess about with my brain" he admitted, "anyway, you look like you could do with a sleep, mate I don't think you can even class those bags under your eyes as bags anymore, they're full on luggage!" Cal chuckled.

"Actually I'd kill for a sleep right now, but I just can't" Ethan shrugged as he began to make two cups of tea.

"Go for a lie down for a bit, you've got nothing to worry about now yeah? I'm fine, the kids are in school and you don't have to worry about the funeral until tomorrow" Cal reassured him but Ethan shook his head. "I can't wait to see Peter" Cal stated excitedly changing the subject as it was evident his sleep deprived brother wasn't giving in to sleep any time soon.

"He's missed you so much Cal, he'd cry every night for you" Ethan told him.

"Have you kept up with his medication?" Cal asked hopefully.

"Yes, the difference in him is outstanding, he's like a completely different kid to who he was two weeks ago in the best possible way" Ethan explained.

"I'm glad it didn't affect him like it did me" Cal stated shuddering at the thought.

Ethan nodded and placed a cup of tea before Cal. He took a seat opposite him and looked at him warily. He watched as Cal ran his hands through his hair and stopped at the back of his head, feeling the dressing that was left there from his operation, "Caleb..." Ethan began and Cal looked up at him, "Why did you just disappear like that?" He asked hopelessly.

"I've already told you" Cal shrugged.

"When you were younger, you didn't have to deal with many emotions because you were drugged out of your mind for the majority of it, you just knew you hated yourself and that was that...when you got off the medication it was almost like you had to deal with emotions and things for the very first time." Ethan stated carefully, "When you got into trouble with money at uni you didn't ask for help you slept on the streets for weeks. When mum took ill, you took up a job abroad, you didn't visit her once Caleb. When Dad took ill you wanted nothing to do with him – which is of course understandable - but you couldn't handle it, when you found out we had kids you went out and got absolutely blind drunk and brought a girl home and almost traumatised little Peter for life" Ethan told him causing Cal to smirk slightly at the last part, "When Dad died you ran away and lived on the streets for five days. Caleb...we're a family, yeah we're dysfunctional and so small we're almost nonexistent but we're a family which means whatever you go through, I do too, because we stick together. Now I know if I ever needed protecting or help or a shoulder to cry on you'd be there, but I feel like you feel alone in, well, _everything_ really. You run away when times get tough because, I don't know, maybe you feel like it's the easier option that to open up to your family but that's not true, and hopefully you see that now having nearly killed yourself falling over the other day. All I'm saying is we don't have to talk about things now, but if you ever want to I'm here and I always will be, because I'm your brother. Just please don't ever think it's easier to hide your emotions than talk to me okay? I'll never judge you in that way" Ethan told him with a sympathetic smile.

"Jesus, you could've warned me this was an episode of 'lectures with Ethan', my tea's gone cold" Cal teased as he took a sip out of his cup. Ethan rolled his eyes, "Thanks" Cal told him and as simple as it was, that was the only reply Ethan needed to hear from his brother. At least now he knew Ethan understood him.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" Ethan asked.

"You know what there is" Cal replied, "You can iron my funeral suit for tomorrow, you know I'm hopeless at ironing, then I'll come with you to pick the kids up from school, Peter will be so surprised" He smiled at his brother.

Ethan nodded; "I'll get right on it" he smiled as he disappeared off to get the ironing done.

Cal looked around at the mess one more time and shook his head with a smirk; his younger brother definitely needed him around. He slowly walked over to the sink and placed his cup in there. He looked over at the fridge and suddenly remembered something; he reached into his pocket and pulled out the drawing Peter had made for him whilst he was in hospital, he smiled down at it and then placed it on the fridge door next to the other drawing Peter had made for him.

An hour had past and Cal had tidied around the apartment as much as he could but he had to admit he did have to take it easy after his operation, he definitely felt weak. Ethan hadn't emerged from his room since Cal sent him off to do the ironing.

Cal made his way to Ethan's bedroom, "Are we going to get the kids now, it's nearly time-" He cut himself off as he popped his head into his brother's room to find Ethan was fast asleep laying on top of the bed, Cal's ironed suit was hung up on the door of his wardrobe. Cal smiled to himself and walked over to him, he carefully pulled the duvet over his brother, "Get some sleep Nibbles" Cal whispered before he made his way back out, closing the door quietly behind him.

He pulled out his phone and dialled a number, "Mr Fairhead?" Cal spoke down it, "You know how you said 'if there's anything I can do to help'? Well, I'd like to take you up on that offer if that's okay" Cal spoke teasingly as he left the apartment. Cal had asked Charlie to drive him to Peter and Maddie's school so he could pick them up as he knew if he could barely walk around the apartment, he definitely couldn't drive and he wasn't willing to chance it with the kids in the car with him. He stood at the school gate and awaited the kids to emerge. They made their way out together both looking worn out, Peter had his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground.

"Peter look!" Maddie gasped as she spotted Cal.

Peter looked up suddenly and he too spotted Cal who gave him a wave, the smile that grew on the boy's face was humongous "CAL!" Peter shouted as he ran straight to him and jumped into his arms causing Cal to wince slightly but it didn't bother him.

"Hey buddy" Cal chuckled as he held the boy who hugged him tightly.

"I've miss you" Peter spoke, his voice muffled by Cal's body.

"We both have" Maddie smiled up at Cal as she hugged his torso.

"I've miss you too" Cal told them.

"Are you all better now?" Peter asked optimistically.

"I'm getting there" Cal replied as he ruffled his brother's brown hair, "Right, I've got a mission for us all" he stated as he placed Peter back down.

"What is it?" Maddie asked excitedly.

"Operation: Get home, make dinner and tidy the apartment up all before Ethan wakes up, do you think we can do that?" Cal asked.

"Yeah!" Peter and Maddie replied enthusiastically as they both took Cal's hand and they hurried back to Charlie's car.

An hour and a half had passed since Cal picked the kids up from school and their mission was complete.

"Ethan!" They shouted as Cal allowed them to run into his room to wake him.

Peter bounced up and down on his bed and Maddie took a seat beside where Ethan slept.

Ethan woke up confused and looked at them, "What are you doing home?" he asked concerned.

"Cal picked us up!" Peter replied as he bounced.

Ethan looked to Cal who was stood in the doorway and his face reddened, "Why didn't you wake me Caleb. You're in no state to be driving!" Ethan snapped.

"Yeah and that's exactly why he got Charlie to drive us" Maddie replied simply before Cal could even open his mouth.

"Oh" Ethan replied awkwardly, "Well, still, you should be the one sleeping, not me" Ethan shook his head angry at himself as he got out of bed.

"We've got a surprise for you!" Peter shouted as he bounced off the bed and took hold of his hand, leading him out of the room.

Ethan walked out into a perfectly tidy apartment; just how it used to be. The table was neatly set with four plates of spaghetti bolognaise.

"Wow" He spoke impressed, "Caleb you shouldn't have" Ethan sighed as he looked at him; he felt so guilty for falling asleep when Cal had brain surgery literally the day before.

"I didn't" Cal shrugged in reply.

"Welcome to Maddie and Peter's restaurant" Maddie spoke politely.

"It's _Peter_ and Maddie's" Peter spoke out.

Maddie shot a snarl at him and then looked back up to Ethan, "Would you like to take a seat sir?" Maddie asked as she led him to the table.

"Why thank you" Ethan replied as he sat down all four of them burst out laughing as the kids dropped their act. Maddie took a seat beside Ethan and Peter took a seat beside Cal.

"Did you make this all by yourself?" Ethan asked the kids as they began to eat.

Maddie shot a glance at Cal and he nodded at her.

"Yep, every last bit of it" Maddie announced.

"No we never, we only made the spaghetti, Cal made the rest Maddie" Peter spoke out obliviously.

Maddie sighed deeply, "Shhh!" she hushed him.

"Well still, the spaghetti is the most important part, it's a huge responsibility to make spaghetti" Ethan told Peter who nodded in agreement. Cal smiled along.

"Spaghetti bolognaise was Daddy's favourite" Maddie stated sadly causing the mood to fall.

Cal and Ethan shot a glance at each other, "Well, after we all say goodbye to him tomorrow we can all start to move forward can't we?" Ethan stated and Maddie nodded.

"He'd want us to be happy, right Ethan?" She asked.

"Of course Madison" Ethan smiled sadly.


End file.
